ITT: We are all Pokémon Trainers

Malie Streets

-The front wall explodes as Tragedy phases forward, reappearing in front of the two trainers, the ground exploding as it reappears-

Tragedy: ⦕You believe you can stop me. And perhaps you did in some ancient future. But I am not Chaos nor Destruction. I am the first Shard. Calamity is a being that has destroyed numerous worlds already. A world like this, but simpler, without you heroes. A world where men and women use stones to become dragons, a world of war. A world where Pokemon do not exist. A world where abilities you ascribe to Pokemon are wielded by man. A hundred before you. And yet here you were too prepared. The Jaegers. The anti-Glitch artifacts. We were torn apart. But now I am nearing completion again.⦖

-It rears back and lightning strikes down, coursing through the water it had splashed around earlier-

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

Walt: <It's more than that! It's Hook! He's gone nuts since joining forces with Mobius!>

Umbra: Wait, what?

Zumi: <D-Duly noted.>

edited 28th Feb '18 9:11:52 PM by Umbramatic

Contact Me!

Brie: Oh, sweet merciful Lugia, what is th—

-lightning-

-Calamity is knocked out, Skyfire and Breeze left in the red-

-Brie falls to her knees-

-Ever writhes in pain, the Pokeball he was holding falling from his hands and rolling away-

Ever: D-dammit...

-he tries to get up, and can't move-

...Please, I don't want to die here...

Brie: Rrrgh...we've fought worse than you, Glitch. You're not going to take this reality.

I'm not afraid of you. Skyfire!

Skyfire: <You'll burn before laying another hand on Brie!>

-and she breathes out a Flamethrower at Tragedy-

Ever: No...

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Mandrake: <Hm... curious, since you're from here, what can you tell us about the place we're going?>

Chum: <...The Captain's?...>

<...Dang, I didn't see that one coming...>

Cris: <Uh... those stairs... what are they like?>

"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every

Lilycove

Egh, great. Why can't the heroes of these stories ever slip outside their homeworlds?

-He shrugs and brings his nice shiny keytar from his bag-

Keytar, check. Hat, check. Coat, check. Alright, I'm ready.

It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.

Malie Streets

Tragedy: ⦕Then you're fools.⦖

-It is bathed in flames-

-As the smoke clears, its body is unharmed-

⦕Useless. Useless useless USELESS USELESS USELESS. YOU ARE PATHETIC.⦖

-The ground around it explodes and it creates a shockwave that scatters road debris like the shrapnel of a grenade-

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

Pollen's Ball

-twitch-

---

???

~...oh, fucking hell...~

---

Thespi: <Gasp! The new plot ties into the already established plot lines! Now it's doubly important that we go there and foil evil's schemes!>

Ceal: <W-we'll help however we can.>

-determined nod-

No mind to think. No will to break.

-Tangent's team has recollected around the north exit of town-

Tang: OK... pant, pant

There's a lot to unpack there. But first...

...

Lua, are you okay?

Lua: -trembles- <...>

-Tang and Basket sit down on either site of the Quilava-

Lua: <He... I didn't mean to...>

Tang: -starts carefully petting- It's OK. It's not your fault he targeted you.

Lua: <I feel sick...>

Basket: -wingpetting- <You were singled out by a sadist as an example to be made. That is a literally traumatizing experience, and feeling sick is utterly natural.>

Lua: <I hate him.>

Basket: -releasing a Sweet Scent- <Oh, he needs to be knocked into the mud definitely. But before we can take proper vengance, we need to make sure you're in a healthy headspace; dwelling on acute stress, especially this soon, is not good for your psychological health.>

Lua: <...fine. I'm going to get my grappling hook working.>

Basket: <That's a good distraction, I'll help you.>

Tang: -breathes out, sends a text, then follows-

Do you highlight everything looking for secret messages?

-at the second to last USELESS, Ever's expression of despair morphs into a very, very slight smirk-

-let's back up a bit okay?-

-Ever dropped a Pokeball earlier, but does it really take the length of a monologue to open one?-

-given that the answer is no, where's the mon?-

-we skip back to now for the answer-

~Access~~'Sup~~Now~

-a flicker of light appears in the air around Tragedy as the Future Sight materializes-

-and in the same moment, a flicker of obscura emerges from Ever's jacket, where Access is hiding-

Access and Breeze: (speaking in perfect unison) <Sucker!>

-the ground explodes. Brie has about time to recall Skyfire-

-she and Ever are...damaged. We will leave it at that-

-but most relevantly, within a small patch by Ever-

-the shrapnel simply-

-reverses-

-with the same force as the rest of the attack together-

-because when they cheat-

-you cheat back-

Access used Foul Play!

please

edited 28th Feb '18 9:20:40 PM by memyselfandI2

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Route 121, past

Channah: Sometimes. *sighs* I'm making too big of a deal about this. Who cares what I think.

There is no disdain in nature, there is no humiliation.

Malie Streets

-Tragedy's body shudders as it's impaled by several bits of shrapnel-

-It slumps over, its body swissed to hell and back-

-Suddenly it has a claw through Ever and Brie-

⦕Impressive. Ultimately, futile however. That is far more damage than you have the right to have dealt.⦖

-The holes in its body begin slowly filling in-

-The purple octahedron close around Brie and Ever and fill with sparks-

-And then burst with fire and lightning-

⦕Feel free to make a welcome mat for your friends when I send them to meet you.⦖

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

Noelle: So what are you doing now?

Forte: Well, there are four more Eevee users for me to find.

-they check the list-

Forte: Looks like the Glaceon, Umbreon, and Vaporeon ones all live on Melemele Island, and the Sylveon one lives on Poni Island.

Noelle: Oh, you should go do the Sylveon one! They're the best!

Caitsidhe: <That's right~>

Fortis: Uh huh! Ribbon Eevees are cute!

Forte: Uh, maybe. But what—

-Forte is interrupted by receiving a text-

-and staring at it for a few moments-

Forte: Hey Shadow, you might want to take a look at this...

-...-

Forte: Shadow?

Fortis: Oh my gosh, where's Pinkie?

-a particular Ice trainer is on his laptop, talking about a certain fantasy-themed card game-

Do not fear power... fear those who wield it.

-Ever, whose immobility from the lightning really wasn't an act, becomes a kebab-

-Brie, who is bleeding badly from numerous cuts, but is significantly more physically capable, makes it a little farther and gets a claw through the leg-

-octahedron-

Brie: If...if we can hurt you, you're not invincible.

Ever: If you have weaknesses, others...can be told.

Welcome mats are for people who settle down. I'm going to haunt you.

-the sparks build up-

Brie: ...It's been an—

-blip-

-there is now a Metagross inside the octahedron. It's blasted, and just sort of stares at Tragedy-

Metagross used Ally Switch!

???: Using two moves in a turn...

-and a Dragonite tears out of nowhere on an Extremespeed, carrying a certain Kid on its back-

Six Pseudos Kid: Is against the RULES!

-and a Hydreigon and Salamence follow the Dragonite, launching a trio of Hyper Beams down at Tragedy, as a Goodra, Tyranitar, and Kommo-o drop from the air with Giga Impacts-

Brie: Wh...what?

Ever: ...this is likely not the time to be questioning

Brie: ...Right. Atlantis...

-she sends out the Dragonite-

Brie: We have to go.

Ever: ...yeah

-Atlantis snatches the two up, Extremespeeding away-

edited 28th Feb '18 9:53:43 PM by memyselfandI2

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Malie Streets

Tragedy: ⦕I am the rules.⦖

-It waves its talon as its body instantly recovering from the strikes-

⦕And you are not worth my time.⦖

-It shudders, and vanishes-

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

Six Psuedos Kid: ...Hmph.

-they look around, seeing the wrecked street-

...

...Well. We've got some cleaning up to do, I guess.

-and they go to do just that-

-it's a very good landing, but it doesn't qualify as such since neither Ever nor Brie can walk away from it-

-or at all-

Brie: Hey um...you know we're still going to die, right?

Ever: Yeah. I wasn't, like, harboring illusions about that.

Brie: At least we know how to hurt it.

Ever: Yeah, until it figures out how to get around that. I hate smart villains.

Brie: We should at least send the text.

Ever: ...Or we could not die.

Brie: What?

Ever: How much do you trust our science cousin?

Brie: -gives a so-so motion with what remains of her arm-

Ever: Yeah.

-PEFE!Every is staring at the ceiling, bored-

-ding-

Click!

Ever: hey

PEFE!Every: ...Someone had a bad day.

-she sends out Cytosol, who levitates several syringes-

...I can't promise it's going to get better.

Brie: That's really unnecessarily ominous.

Ever: It's in the blood twice over.

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Lilycove

“Okay I believe you,” Amaterasu decided with bizarre intonation, the kanji on her shirt now reading “何”.

“Let’s get going then,” he shirt once again saying “闇” before it then shifted into “待”. She turned to the other Amaterasu - Okay I’m just gonna start using Ninetales!Amaterasu - and looked at her inquisitively. “What ‘signs’?”

“読”, Ninetales!Ammy’s shirt read.

[Insert Unoriginal Stinger Here]

Morgan: "They treated the two of us fine, if with some understandable suspicion..." He motions to himself and Cynthia, "But not Lucina."

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

 Route 121, past 

-To Channah-

...I do.

Eating a Vanilluxe will give you frostbite.

-Ever and Brie are lying on the ground, bleeding out, as one does-

Ever: ...So hey.

You proved you weren't a coward, right?

Brie: ...Heh, yeah, I guess.

Ever: Sorry it took...that.

-...-

Brie: Why do you think that guy showed up?

Ever: I mean, they were following both of us when we were in Alola. Maybe they took notice. Or maybe it was a thinly veiled deus ex machina to get us out of a situation we couldn't have possibly survived. Reality's way of fighting back against the Glitch. Or just bad writing.

Brie: I think the blood loss is getting to you.

Ever: Seriously, where is—

Click!

PEFE!Every: Sorry! Sorry! Hold still, please...

-she bends down by Ever, taking out a syringe-

Ever: Ow!

PEFE!Every: I didn't inject you yet.

Ever: ...Hmph.

-and she does inject him, before moving to Brie-

Brie: Ow!

PEFE!Every: Seriously, what is with you two?

-Ever and Brie are drinking Oran Juice. PEFE!Every is cooking them some breakfast, as neither has the energy to protest this-

Ever: ...So, that happened.

Brie: I mean, probably. It just feels...surreal.

Ever: No, I know what you mean.

Brie: Like, I've gotten hurt pretty badly in fights. Remember when I came back from the Neo-Flare base?

Ever: -shudders-

Brie: But this just feels...different. Like the time I got disintegrated. It's a level of physical harm that's sort of outside the human capacity to really take in, right? And it's all fixed the next day? It's like a bad dream.

Ever: ...Hm, you know, maybe it was.

Brie: What?

Ever: Think about it. We're teleported mysteriously to another region by what seems like a text (that has since vanished from my phone), we visit a Gym that mysteriously turns into a Jim the second I enter it, the Indeterminate Person, who until now has generally presented themself as a harmless (if homicidal) fashion victim, has forged some phrase of alliance with a Glitch bent on the destruction of our entire reality, the Glitch literally slaughters us, like we should not functionally be alive, there is no good explanation for that, this random person who shows up as a periodic extra in our lives turns up to save us, and then PEFE!Every fixes us up with no physical signs of any of it happening? Probably we just fell asleep watching Netflix and got the same dose of Dream Eater.

Brie: You know, that sort of makes—

PEFE!Every: I can confirm that that is inaccurate. You sent me a text early this morning to come and help you, and I have two missing vials of Ditto serum to vouch for the fact that you needed it. Further, Ever is usually not this...one-step-removed-from-reality, except when in a severely weakened state, which lends credence to the likelihood that you were injured. The reason you are experiencing a sense of unreality is a combination of blood loss, fatigue, and the inherent nature of the Glitch. The reason you are alive, aside from my assistance, is, I am inclined to imagine, much like you have said, a natural resistance on the part of reality to the Glitch.

Ever: What kind of run-on sentence—

PEFE!Every: I could easily be wrong, but no better solution has readily presented itself, and I don't relish the chance to obtain more data points.

Ever: That's surprising. You alright?

PEFE!Every: ...Yes? I didn't need my entire body reconstructed.

Ever: Don't remind me. That was so weird. Could just be determination.

PEFE!Every: (skeptically) Sure.

Brie: You've given this a lot of thought?

PEFE!Every: It's proved itself a distressingly recurrent issue.

-she places two plates in front of Ever and Brie. They contain something that might be eggs-

Eat.

-Ever and Brie look at each other nervously, before Brie cautiously tastes the food-

Brie: ...It's great!

PEFE!Every: It's terrible. I have no idea how to cook eggs. But you need the protein.

-Brie and Ever sigh, before digging in-

Ever: Thanks. ...For saving our lives, not the eggs, to clarify. I definitely could have cooked and it would have been like, much better.

PEFE!Every: Well, neither of you like lichen.

Ever: I don't know how that's a response to what I just said, but okay.

PEFE!Every: Anyway, don't worry about it. I wouldn't just let you die.

Brie: Aww.

-PEFE!Every blinks at her in confusion, and busies herself with cleaning up-

Brie and Ever: Hey, are you okay?

-they pause-

Brie: ...J—

Ever: Counterjinx.

Brie: Okay fine.

-they both look expectantly at PEFE!Every, who seems puzzled-

PEFE!Every: I'm...fine? You asked this earlier. My week has been lovely so far.

Ever: Alright then.

-...-

Brie: Oh, uh, Ever. Given as that did happen, we should let people know.

-Ever sighs-

Ever: Crap, you're right. Why do I always end up needing to explain things?

-he grabs his laptop-

Bleh, at least my prosthetic made it through that. Small mercies, I guess.

Ever: Heh. Thanks, Brie.

Brie: Someone's gotta be the optimistic one.

Ever: Yeah.

-he takes a bite of his eggs without thinking, and then makes a face-

Brie: Ever!

Ever: It tastes like shoes!

Brie: Ever!

PEFE!Every: He's not wrong.

edited 1st Mar '18 8:09:18 AM by memyselfandI2

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

edited 1st Mar '18 8:15:09 AM by BittersweetNSour

Human!Vee: -still working on a thing, receives Ever's message- ...um. Um.

-shows her companions-

Megan: ...

Pippy: -fearfully- <...Dialga's heart...>

Megan: We're in this together. We're in this together. We're together...oh god, Ever and Brie are who knows where and I don't know where most of the J-Team is and we're in the middle of a forest fighting Whismur and Thespi and Tripod and Ceal are off on some magical adventure away from us and, and—bring them back, bring them back, bring them back—

Human!Vee: Breathe, Meg, breathe. We've all got our stuff to handle, and I'm sure the Prophecies^tm won't let themselves break the world. We've got this.

Pippy: -to himself- <We don't got this...>

Human!Vee: -shoves him-

???

edited 1st Mar '18 9:57:13 AM by Asterisk395

No mind to think. No will to break.

-Gudrunn Alter smiles at Ever's text. Around her throne are various corrupted Rabbids, building her a fortress-

Gudrunn Alter: So Tragedy's on the move. Exellent.

-she extends a tentacle, and starts siphoning power from both the Obscuric artifacts and Kolemm-

Kolemm: Ḩͦ̈́̇̑̔ͦ̍̄͂̒ͥ͏̥̼̫̩̱͉̀ṋ̵̡̻̰̖̩ͨ̊̈́ͪ̔̊̐̓ͦ̈̊ͬ͋͐̂̚̕n̸̼̙͔̦̠̼̫̩̝̱͓̩͔͇̼̼ͮ̋̔̚̕͜͝n̢̻̣̤͍͈͎̦̖͍̒̍̽ͨ̐͋̅̓̓̍͐ͩ͌ͫ̓̈́̀́͜͝ǹ̷̛̻̻̱̪̙̻̥̥̱̥͈̘̠̟͇̗̾̀ͥ͑̑̈ͣg̶̈̄̈́ͫ́̑̏ͬ̈́͏̸̼̩͔͈͔̭͉͎̯͕̲̭̬h͋̒͑ͬ̉̋̌ͮͤ͆҉̖̘͓̱̲͉̘͇͍̤̜̥͚͔̥͇̮͢ͅ.̸̟̪̺̹͔̖̠͎̫̜̺̈́͛͂͐ͧ̀͞͡.̯̦̣̖̲̀͌̑ͯ̎͋͑͗ͭ̃̓̓̿̉͊͛̚̚͜͠͠ͅ.̧͕̲̲̖̱͇̖̝̹̝̺͚ͨ̈́͗̍̓ͦ̅̾͢ ̶͎̟͔̣̗̲̬͖͓͕̬ͥͭͭ̔ͮͮ͛ͧ̏̚͜N̸̸̜̱̭̭̱̩̞̠͚͕͕̰ͬ̒ͮ̚͝͡-͇̖̮̩̞͈͉̲͕̙̹͚̙ͣͮ̍ͨ̾ͧ̉̋́͜͡n̵̦̥͈͔̼͉̯̱̠̯̄ͫ̌̇ͥ̑̏ͣ͑͛ͩ̔̏̋̅ͥͮ̕̕͟ͅǫ̬͓͍͚̬̂ͪ̿̅̃̃.ͯ̋ͣ̌͑͠͏̖̠̟̰͖̠.̵̡̢̪̝̰̖̩̳̯̟ͯ̔ͣ̄̿̊̓͗͌̃͂ͫ͆ͬͪͅ.̷̣͔̼̼͉̹̝̦̙̯͎̟͈̑̈̆ͮ͂̄̓ͣ̆̅̔͝

Gudrunn Alter: Speaking of glitches... I'm going to need assistance to deal with these meddlers that popped up...

-A strange, glitchy Obscuric orb starts forming under the tentacle-

-The group heads into a very jungle-y area decorated with blocks and... Toilets?-

Walt: <He's been using Mobius resources to mess up Makbaliv more than I can handle myself, and even bringing in Mobius forces! I need your help to stop him!>

Voyd: Exactly! Which is why I need your help.

edited 1st Mar '18 9:43:55 AM by Umbramatic

Contact Me!

edited 1st Mar '18 9:47:22 AM by Tangent128

Do you highlight everything looking for secret messages?

Pinwheel Mishmash

Walking behind the group as Sunny used Wish a few times to heal herself and Kazuma, Colt pounded his fingers away on the phone.

He looked up from his phone at the new surroundings. Kazuma grunted something again.

“I want some answers, too,” Colt comforted. “But I think we can just leave it at ‘more unruly Rabbids’ and leave it at that, heh.”

[Insert Unoriginal Stinger Here]