ITT: We are all Pokémon Trainers

Robin: He's not a twin, he's my psycho evil side that murdered near everyone I loved!

Grima:    Hey! l was literally made to start that kind of shit! It's in the job description, ya kn-   

-Suddenly F!Robin-

Both: ...What the    fuck   

Azama: <Your world's history seems intresti- Excuse me, sandcastles?>

Nico: I don't actually know for sure but it's nothing good! We have to stop her!

-he shudders-

I feel like something else is going horribly wrong too...

Contact Me!

Ever: Well, you know. Freak storms.

-as he's yanked, he braces to move the other way... and slams his right palm into his left shoulder-

-the arm comes free with a hiss. and Ever dashes towards Custard, who's already charging again. He leaps into the air, landing neatly on the dragon's back, and dives off of her, rolling back to his feet without slowing-

Gonna need that back.

Custard: <You'll cause no pain on my watch!>

-and she swings another Brick Break at Jacob's chest-

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Nimbasa

Jacob: -His entire body shudders like TV static as Custard charges and slams into him, breaking his ribs and causing his torso to flop back- "Snow never really-"

-He reaches back and yanks his torso up as it cracks and snaps back into it's proper shape- "was something I enjoyed. Hoenn weather and all."

-He rears back with the fairy suffused arm, his body twisting about 130 degrees, before snapping back and absolutely cracking it across Custard's face-

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

Nimbasa

*KREEEEEAW!*

-A shadow, shaped like a quadruped with wings, can be seen approaching from the north.-

F!Robin: "I vaguely remember the last time I went clothes shopping."

Mira: ~Oh, do tell! It might help you remember more!~

F!Robin: "It was... with someone close to me. She has a bizarre fashion taste. That's all I remember."

Mira: ~Well hopefully it'll all come back to you!~

F!Robin: "Hopefully."

Suddenly, Grima and Robin.

F!Robin: "What, why are you -"

She blinks once. Twice. Looks between Grima and Robin.

F!Robin: -To Robin- "You look like me but male and with white hair." -To Grima.- "And you look like him but evil..."

Mira: -is staring in confusion.-

F!Robin: "My being here is sufficient proof of there existing multiple universes, which means that one of them is likely another version of my own timeline..."

She points at Robin.

"Which, given the confusion, makes you... me, probably."

She points at Grima.

"And you..."

-She walks up and fucking slugs Grima in the face.-

"Are deserving of far more than that, but I don't have a sword with which to run you through."

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

"Like I said. My family is pretty weird."

Upon the flopping noise, "Uhm what?"

For everyone on the island, as the sun rises, they are greeted to the sight of Jester towering over everything smiling, "GOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING CAMPERS! GUESS WHAT! ONLY ONE DIVINE BEAST LEFT! AND IT'S A DOOZY! BEAT THIS THING AND THE TREASURES ARE YOURS! YOU READY? WELL! GET READY! GET SET!"

"GOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

The last part echoed over everything and probably hurt quite a few ears. Whatever would happen next, everyone had one place to return to, or a plan to set in motion.

Silas and Hacks nod impressed at the place, <Looks like a decent place to stay.>

<Personally I prefer Foxeria or Falconan,> <Of course you would Silas. Of course you would... Because it is space!>

Custard: <Wait, so isn't Jacob a friend of yours? Why are we fighting him?>

Ever: 'Cause it's fun and he's trying to kill us?

Custard: <Ohhh.>

-at which point she's cold-cocked by a fairy prosthetic-

-this is an unusually painful experience-

Custard: <Ow! What the hell?>

Ever: ...Whoops. Sorry about that Custard.

Custard: <...I'm okay.>

-she lets out a loud roar, and slashes upwards at Jacob's chin-

Custard used Sky Uppercut!

-Ever, meanwhile, has taken out his phone, and is recording a video-

Ever: I mean, I'm admittedly more of a warm-weather sort of person too. But home is home. Custard, get ready to defend.

-he hears the screech, but it doesn't sound like Tragedy, Muninn, or Unigma, so he files it as unimportant for now-

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Megan: -blinks- I dunno.

-she and Pippy and Ceal look around-

-a voice rings out, and they look towards it-

???: <Henryyy!>

-flop-

-it somehow sounds country-

<This stopped being funny hours ago!>

-flop-

<Are ya there?!>

-flop-

<Where am I?!>

-flop-

<Miriel? Ricken?>

-flop-

<ANYONE?!>

-flop-

<HELP!>

-and a Magikarp, which was very obviously a Magikarp from its style of speaking, flops into view-

Megan, Pippy, Human!Ceal: -blink, staring down at it-

Magikarp: -freezes, staring up at them-

-it starts trembling-

-voice cracking- <Please don't eat me>

No mind to think. No will to break.

Gage: -to Azama- <There are all kinds of Pokemon.>

Channah: Yeah. You know, the first Pokemon I caught after I left Kanjoh was Lo, here in Hoenn. We explored the region together and stuff.

There is no disdain in nature, there is no humiliation.

Nimbasa

-Jacob's skin ripples as he's hit, and he staggers backward, slamming his feet into the ground-

-Speaking of, several cracks radiate out from Jacob-

-A Chaosjuice stake erupts from the ground and spears Ever's phone on it-

-And afterwards all the lights in the immediate area flicker-

-It appears there is something fucky going on with electrical devices now-

-There is a moment before several stakes try spearing Ever and Custard-

-Jacob looks up, his face split in half by his maniacal grin-

"Oh, oh I was wondering if you'd show up."

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

-Petey Grass Knots Maximus-

-Azurda attempts to Iron Head Timpani-

-Dryad and Jim are having a Shadow Ball/Shadow Claw fight-

-Egghead attempts to confront Zeltrech's mons with a Wood Hammer-

-Neon has set up a Psychic Terrrain-

-Plauge Doktor is cackling and firing Moonblasts-

-Gudrunn herself is firing Dark Pulses and dodging blaster fire from Jean-

-grima is decked-

Robin: -whistles- Savage. Also this is surreal

Grima:    Ow! Hey, no fair ganging up on yourself!   

Setsuna: <Pokemon? Is that what we are?>

Contact Me!

Nimbasa

-High in the sky, a Bisharp stands on the back of a Salamence.-

Rend: <I smell him...>

-His metallic hide gives a squeal as his steel-banded muscles twitch in excitement.-

Rend: <I've    found    him!>

-As the Salamance arrives over the city, Rend's nostrils are filled with the acrid scent of prey.-

Rend    Blackhand   : <   I COME FOR YOU!   >

-Rend does a standing jump, and his dragon flies out from underneath him. Rend plummets towards the ground, a cackling-mad missile made of blades, hatred, and drugs. Glorious, glorious drugs.-

Rend    Blackhand   : <   THE GREATEST OF THE JAEGERS COMES!   >

Hyul Island

His ears ringing from the start, forcing him to strangle himself with his scarf and hide in the Great Ball, Talbain materialized.

He exhaled as he removed the scarf. “It’s time,” Colt said plainly, Jester’s announcement a substitute for coffee. He entered Phaz’s room, with a simple instruction spoken before he left.

“Pack your bags, ‘cuz we’ve already won.”

He drew his phone, a message straightforward.

[Insert Unoriginal Stinger Here]

Silas looks at the Magikarp and just goes, "Uuuuuh... yeah no. Ever since the advent of cloned meat I don't really eat regular meat much."

"Speak for yourself I could go for a fresh kill," Hacks jokes.

Silas gives him a look, "Yeah not like that you're not. You insist on human form, you're gonna eat like a civilized person."

Hacks smiles and gives a shrug, taking off the scarf and returning to mon form, ~I guess it's fair game now.~

Silas sighs, "Hacks come on."

~I'm not going to. I just find this amusing. Typically my experience with Magikarp has always been them insulting me and insisting they will grow up to be majestic beasts that can shoot lasers.~

Silas groaned, as if that wasn't bad enough, out of the bushes stepped a dazed Croagunk, <Dis is not good. Ver am I? Robin? Chrom? Hello?>

Silas blinked, "Wait... Robin?"

Wild cubone: <what's this? The prophecy never spoke of a third sibling... -to Homer- hey human, can I get a robe like hers?

Homer, now convinced that the three in front of him are cosplayers doing role play: Well, I'd hate to interrupt... whatever this is, so I'll see my self out. -to grima- thank you again for finding my Kadabra, I'm a little pissed about my credit card, but oh well.

-"hands Grima some day old malsadas as another thank you"-

Homer: See ya.

-"Homer returns Melly, and Zags, and leaves"-

Wild cubone, to the robins: <I like your robes>

-" the wild cubone chases after Homer"-

edited 17th Jan '18 4:36:36 PM by OlympianSoul

Let's all have fun

-Ever's phone is impaled. He blinks at the spike emerging from the ground-

Ever: Rude. Now I have to get a new phone, and log into [Google] again.

-and then Rend makes his announcement-

That's a cue if I've ever heard one.

-his hand no longer occupied, he taps it to Custard's ball, recalling the Kommo-o, and simply sprints in the opposite direction as spikes erupt under him-

Ever: AAAAAAAAAAA—

edited 17th Jan '18 4:11:05 PM by memyselfandI2

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every

Nimbasa

-Jacob leaps back, skin covering in a thin film of the Chaos tar-

-And then is encased by his Kyogre armor-

-As he's retreating back he laughs-

Chacob: "JAEEEEGEEER! It's been years! You know what this means, don't you?? You already lost! The End, the World Eater, Calamity is going to return and it's all because you dogs of your mistress and her friends were all too slow! You couldn't finish me off in some future past and you won't now!!"

-Several tentacles spring from its back and lash out at Rend, slamming into the ground hard enough to fragment the street-

-In the background, spikes still chase after Ever, with the enigmatic elusive boy ever out of reach-

-They stop after a moment and then spikes grow out of the spikes that were coming out of the ground to try and stake him horizontally-

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

Megan: -frowning at Hacks- We are not going to eat you. You're safe with us.

Magikarp: <That is, uh, a relief, miss.>

-blinks at the Croagunk- <Are ya one of the Shepherds? Henry, what've ya done now... Where were ya?! I've been callin' fer hours!>

Pippy: ...

-quickly, to both, with a shush motion at everyone else- <You wouldn't happen to be from Ylisse, would you?>

Megan: -blinks- Oh. Ohhhh...

Human!Ceal: -looks on, confused-

edited 17th Jan '18 4:23:45 PM by Asterisk395

No mind to think. No will to break.

Nimbasa

Rend    Blackhand   : <   HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!   >

-Rend is oblivious to Chaos's taunts. His lungs are filled with the scent of the hunt, his brain clouded by a euphoric rush as he dives at the lethal attack.-

-    REND BLACKHAND used JAEGERBLOOD GUILLOTINE!   -

-The air around Rend's impact zone whistles as the tentacles are sliced in enough pieces that they disperse into mist. He lets out a war howl.-

Rend    Blackhand   : <   THIS IS MY PURPOSE! AND YOUR CURSE!   >

-He starts sprinting at Chaos at full tilt.-

Maggie: "That's... not a good feeling to have."

"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every

"Oooooooooh crap..." Silas noted.

Hacks looked at his scarf and put it away, ~What's going on?~

"Tell me... Croagunk. Your name wouldn't be Gregor?"

<Croagunk? What is Croagunk? And da my name is Gregor, I am mercenary working with shephe->

It was at this point the Croagunk got a look at his hand, and instantly fell silent.

"Yeah that's what I figured. Megan... are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

F!Robin: "I (probably) killed you once at what I was told would be the cost of my life to save my friends and I would not hesitate to do it again!"

She attempts to punch him again.

Mira: -To Robin- ~... So... uh, bad blood?~

Mordekai the Golurk takes the Dragon Hammer to the face, not even slowing down, retaliating at Egghead with an Ice Beam.

Herald starts Night Slashing his way through, Chaline the Chandelure starts Shadow Balling things and Balmung starts Shadow Clawing things

Zelretch advances behind them, his sword at the ready.

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

This is just insulting.

-the obvious solution to horizontal spikes would be to drop-

-Ever decides to go up-

-as the spikes appear, Ever jumps, planting his heels onto one of the horizontal spikes and hurling himself in another direction, rolling to gain more distance-

Ever: Wheeeee~!

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

 Route 112 

-To Setsuna-

Yeah, basically.

Doc: <We nearly got eaten by a Palossand once, then Squiggles saved us.>

-To Channah-

Hoenn was the first place I visited out of Kanjoh myself, so I guess that's another thing we have in common.

Helios: -To Muddy- <You think if Forecaster was here she wo->

Muddy: -Sharply- <Yes! Probably...>

edited 17th Jan '18 4:31:40 PM by rmctagg09

Eating a Vanilluxe will give you frostbite.