ITT: We are all Pokémon Trainers

-Brie stares at the Aggron-

...Okay, so I don't think I'm about to be useful here. Much as I'd like to see that Grunt dead...

Brie: (to Giselle) Hey! Keep the detective safe; I'm going to go ahead and try to clear a path! Miasma, Tailwind! Cindercone, I'm recalling you for now!

Skyfire: <Wait—>

-Brie, once again bolstered by Tailwind, sprints past the fighting and into the east staircase, where she sees the defenses Verax has set up below her-

Oh good, at least nobody will be coming from there...

-Almost immediately, she hears the sounds of footsteps coming down towards her, and sends out Calamity-

Brie: Okay, let's cut up those fancy boots. Chicxulub, Stealth Rock! Miasma, Light Screen!

Calamity: <This is, like, the least fun application of rocks to people.>

-nevertheless, they fire dozens of small needles of rock, rapidly turning the entire flight of stairs past Brie into a hazard zone. From above, Brie can hear the Grunts swearing-

Grunt #1: Shit! Someone get a ranged atta—

-and then Halcyon raises a second barrier of light, cutting the Flare Grunts off from firing down the staircase-

Grunt #1: ...Fuck.

Brie: Hey! I'm no history buff, but you guys seem like you might be! How do fascists historically fare in sieges? Chicxulub, get ready.

Calamity: <I am!>

-they use Shell Smash, while Brie sends out Ramphyros. The Noivern flies up to the underside of the flight occupied by the grunts, hanging from it like...well, a bat-

Ramphyros: <They've got a Houndoom up there using Nasty Plot. Thought they could get away with that, did they?>

Brie: Please, all these guys do is plot.

-she sends out Whirlygig-

Brie: Circus, Earthquake!

-Ramphyros detaches from the flight while Whirlygig leaps up and slams into it. There's the sound of a Houndoom's yelp, followed by a Houndoom tumbling down the stairs into the Stealth Rock, where he's knocked out-

Brie: Whoops.

Grunt #1: You'll pay for that!

Whirlygig: <Is this really the best Neo-Flare has to offer? Failed sneak attacks and angry words?>

Ramphyros: <Hang on.>

-her ears perk up-

Ramphyros: <Someone's coming down. I don't see anyone, but—>

-she's cut off by a Zoroark tackling her, climbing down from the flight above to bypass the Stealth Rock completely. Ramphyros bites down on the Zoroark with a Super Fang and the two tumble down the stairs, entangled-

Brie: Mierda.

-as the illusion drops, a Flare Grunt is also revealed. She's likewise scaled the side of the flight, and she's got an Infinity Ring around her wrist-

Ring Grunt: Heads up, freak!

-and she leaps down to Brie's flight, kicking her away-

Brie: Ow!

Never thought I'd be so grateful for Cipher body armor.

-as the Ring Grunt gets to her feet, white light swirls around her hands, solidifying into whirling blades. Brie gulps and ducks as the Grunt jabs at her, and the blades pulverize the wall behind her-

Ring Grunt: Typical. You can act as tough as you want, but when it comes time to face a real opponent all you can do is run and hide like the rats you a—

-she's interrupted by Brie kicking her feet out from under her. The Grunt recovers amazingly fast, flipping herself back to her feet, but Brie takes the time to palm a Pokeball-

Brie: Cindercone—

Ring Grunt: No!

-she grabs Brie's right wrist, hard enough that she loses her grip on the ball, which rolls away (thankfully not down the stairs)-

Ring Grunt: This is between us, not some animal! Though really, you folk are hardly better, are you?

-she tightens her grip, tendrils of energy extending outwards from her hand to wrap around Brie's arm-

Ring Grunt: The bosses always said Cipher folk were tough to break. Let's see if that's true, shall we?

-and with a sharp crack, she breaks the bones in Brie's arm. Brie hisses in pain-

Ring Grunt: Well, that felt pretty easy.

-the Grunt lets go of Brie's arm, perhaps under the assumption that it's useless. This is an error, as the leverage gives Brie the space to snap her head forward and into the Grunt's face. Helmet vs. soft cartilage is a predictable contest, and the Grunt stumbles back, instinctively clutching at her nose-

Brie: You know, that felt good, but I did promise a punch...

-and she hits the Grunt across the face with a left cross-

Brie: Yeah, that really does feel bett—

-the Grunt screams, spikes of white energy bursting from more or less random points on her body as she returns the favor. The force of the strike knocks Brie to the ground, cracking her helmet and leaving her dangerously close to the Stealth Rock-

Ring Grunt: How dare you?

-more spikes of Aura explode from her as she kicks Brie-

Ring Grunt: I'm practically a fucking demigod, and you want to punch me?

-she kicks her again-

Ring Grunt: What sort of dumbass are you?

-she draws her foot back again, spikes gathering around it-

Brie: ...Cindercone.

-and the Charizard is released. The Ring Grunt stops her kick, taking a few steps back as Skyfire assesses the situation-

Skyfire: <...You hurt her.>

Ring Grunt: Get out of my way, or I'll do the same to—

-she is cut off by Skyfire grabbing her by the collar-

Skyfire: <You're not getting it.>

-Skyfire yanks the Grunt to the side, slamming her into the wall-

Skyfire: <You don't...>

-she smashes the Grunt into the wall again. The Grunt swears in Kalosian, conjuring up blades to slash at Skyfire, but the Charizard doesn't seem to notice-

Skyfire: <Hurt her!>

-and she whirls around and flings the Grunt down-

-onto the Stealth Rock-

-before bathing her in flames-

Skyfire: <Hmph. For someone calling themselves Flare, they're sure not fireproof.>

Brie: ...Are you okay?

-Skyfire glances at her side, which is bleeding badly from the Ring Grunt's attempts to free herself-

Skyfire: <Not important right now. Are you?>

Brie: ...I think I'll live. This is some pretty good armor, even with...whatever it was that Grunt could do.

Skyfire: <I was trying to say, you shouldn't be recalling me.>

Brie: I'm really going to have to get you past this issue.

Calamity: -dings- <Hey, I'm ready now!>

Brie: Oh, about time! Now, Volpe said to avoid killing if possible, so...you know. Avoid killing.

-she grabs Calamity in her good hand and tosses them up the stairs-

Brie: If possible.

-even in their standard form, a Minior at +6 boosted Speed and Attack (3 Shell Smashes, 3 Cosmic Powers) is a holy terror. Calamity rockets up the stairs with the enthusiasm of a super ball and the force of a wrecking ball, taking out Pokemon and Grunts alike-

-meanwhile, Ramphyros finishes off the Zoroark with a point-blank Dragon Pulse- <Whew. That was a workout...>

-Brie sticks her head out of the stairwell to the fight with the Aggron and the Grunts-

Brie: Hey! This stairway should be clear now!

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

Natalie is currently seated at her desk, still wondering why she was on the biology team mailing list.

Natalie: "I work in cybernetics."

Cyrus: ~The fields are related~

Natalie: "I took a couple anatomy classes, I'm not a toxicologist. My Ph D is in robotics."

Cyrus: ~Bureaucracy.~

Natalie; "Bureaucracy. Anyhow, I'm going to go test a new thing with my arm, and I need a firing range."

Cyrus: ~Don't die.~

Natalie: "I don't plan on it."

Cyrus: ~Most don't.~

Cyrus: ~So, what have we learned?~

Natalie: "One, I need a new soldering iron, two, it works, three, I still need those new cutting-edge batteries I was promised. Maybe I should go ask the new cyborg how he powers himself, maybe he'll have something I can use."

Natalie throws a coat on and sets off to go scrounge up a new soldering iron.

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

Despite being hit, the souped up grunt seems to be catching on to the fact that something's up with Mason, and instead of attacking the illusion directly, starts firing off more area-of-effect pulse attacks rather than just lunging at copy after copy.

I'm having to learn to pay the price

Iron Aux Base

Zrone: -He folds his arms, biting back the urge to make any sarcastic remarks- "I had realized. I did not want to be presumptuous, however. It would be unbecoming of me to so quickly get back into the habits of making logical leaps without confirmation."

-He nods- "The world isn't big enough for them to find a place to hide from me. I'll need time and additional resources to make sure that when I do find them, they don't know they've been found and ensure we don't lose needless materiel or any of their research along the way. I'll send in requisitions for what I need as I need it. If that is all, I'll be leaving you to your very important work, Aulstyne."

edited 1st Dec '17 1:35:11 PM by Verax

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

Flare Forest Facility — B1

-Mason mutters another curse. No signs of burning out any time soon, even with the larger attacks, and the fake-image tactic won't be able to coax out attacks forever.-

-Why couldn't this just be a stealth mission like they planned from the beginning?-

-He sighs, and makes one more copy just outside of the previous attack's AOE range to keep the grunt distracted, and attempts to sneak up behind him.-

Mason: (If this doesn't work, I guess I can switch to barrier tactics. Fuck, I dunno.)

Team Iron Auxiliary Base

-After a moment, Aulstyne smirks.-

Aulstyne: Good to know we're on the same page. After this is done, you and I could probably bother the Cryptotech division to make sure they're making headway on the teleport nullifier that Dr. Previa's supposedly been working on. That should improve the mood around here.

-Her emphasis is unclear if the teleport nullifier or the act of bothering Dr. Previa is the source of the improved mood.-

Aulstyne: Anyway, I know better than to micromanage with projects like this. Do as you please.

---

-Elsewhere, Orlandeau is massaging away a creeping headache over how many things are going wrong lately.-

Poni Island

-Ludmilla walks up to the single house on the island, waving to the Machamp working on the nearby farm patch. Deziree is a ways away, holding a camera.-

*Knock knock knock*

-Ludmilla rocks back and forth on her heels while she waits, her thumbs hooked under the shoulder straps of her backpack.-

Deziree: Ooooooo I get to watch one of these in person~

-The door opens, revealing a girl a head shorter than Ludmilla herself, though her bonnet easily reached up to eye level.-

Hapu: Oh, you must be Ludmilla. Nanu said you'd be coming this way eventually.

Ludmilla: Yep! I'm ready to challenge you!

Hapu: Nope.

-Ludmilla blinks.-

Ludmilla: What?

Hapu: You gotta do the captain's trial first.

-Ludmilla frowns.-

Ludmilla: Nobody mentioned a captain trial here.

-Hapu blinks before shaking her head.-

Hapu: Oh, that's right, everyone else in your group had finished with the island before Mina finalized anything. Head back to the Seafolk Village and she should be waiting there.

-Ludmilla gives Hapu a sour look.-

Hapu: Sorry! I thought you knew!

-Ludmilla sighs before turning around and heading back down the path. Deziree tilts her head in confusion.-

Deziree: Did she surrender in fear?

Ludmilla: No, Mom, no one ever surrenders in fear.

Deziree: I need to tell you about this weird purple thief from Orre, then.

Team Iron Auxilary Base

-Owen approaches Orlandeau, still wrining his wrists-

Hyul Castle

Gudrunn: ...That's not omnious.

-more shadow shuddering-

Best Berry 1F

TC: Oh, so that's what they're doing! Clever! We'll be right down!

Neo Flare B 1 F

-Having been intercepted by it before, Trina now uses her strength to hurdle over the Aggron and swipe a claw at the Pokeball as it's being tossed-

-Giselle starts hauling Shun to safety-

Neo Flare B 2 F

-Jared, Jean, and Jared's Dragonite, having fought and murdered their way down the opposite stairwell Brie did, are looking between her and Verax's squad-

Jean: Nice to see you all!

Jared: -recalls his battered Dragonite and sends out a Milotic with grunge-y, punk-y peircings and attire- Tough crowd, huh?

Milotic: -fires a Hydro Pump at a Flare Grunt- <I don't like your asthetic! Though your underground base is admittedly nice.>

Contact Me!

Darkrai

Spinme seems shocked from what the Pen says.

Spinme: "I'll have you know I got a stage in first aid! It's perfectly fine to use it now!"

Beck: <Don't listen to her. She's got a wild side with spiky things. Coats everything with everything.>

Spinme: "That is almost accurate but not enough! I'm really trying to help for once! Fine."

She hands out a pack of candybars

"Tap in it. Just let me have the half."

Galant Groudon

Phaz: "Saw it coming hard."

Takumi is hurt by the rock!

Takumi: <...I never saw that coming...>

Phaz: "EMBRY!"

Embry: <Volta paid me in sweets to do that!>

"Note for self: find Volta and ask him to stop making him such stupid orders... Takumi?"

Takumi used Omnious Wind!

What's the use of money if you ain't gonna break the mold? Even at the center of fire, there is cold All that glitters ain't gold

Team Iron Auxiliary Base

-Orlandeau slowly turns his head towards Owen, his eyes half-closed and a low sigh exiting his nostrils.-

Seafolk Village

Mina: Oh! Hi there! You must be here for my trial!

-Ludmilla's head is craned back as far as it can be, due to Mina's position on top of the restaurant barge.-

Ludmilla: Let's say that I am. Can I start it?

Mina: Absolutely! You're the first person to actually do it, so it's like a test run!

-The paint-splattered girl hops down and motions for Ludmilla to follow.-

Mina: Follow me!

---

-Ludmilla looks around at the half-used paint supplies, piles of canvas, and rather... avant garde paintings on the walls.-

Mina: Alrighty! You ready to start?

Ludmilla: Yeah! Let's get started.

Mina: Here we go, then! Let's begin Captain Mina's Trial!

TRIAL BEGINS!

Ludmilla: ...

Mina: Now fight me!

Ludmilla: Wait, what?!

VS! Captain Mina!

Best Berry Building — B3

-Kaito reaches the guards' side.-

Kaito: Now, pals. I want to personally introduce you to my friend over there.

-They sling their arm over one of the guards' shoulders, grinning, and gesture toward Avada.-

Kaito: See him? The Alakazam? His name's Avada. He can be grumpy sometimes, but he's actually a bit of a softie when you're on his good side. Now, unfortunately, Avada has a very tragic past. I met him as an Abra, in the hands of a Cipher Admin. Now, if you're unfamiliar with Cipher...

-They let go of the guard and pull up a picture of Odin.-

Kaito: These guys, right here, are known for stealing other people's Pokemon and using them to fight. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

-They smile. It's either too cheerful or not cheerful at all.-

Kaito: The thing about Cipher is, the things they do to stolen Pokemon leaves a very bad, un-berry-flavored taste in our mouths. We — the J-Team — are kind of even less fond of the whole "stealing other people's Pokemon to do your bidding" thing than the average person. In the end, this guy ended up getting eaten by an angry Kyurem. Just like a berry. You see what I'm getting at?

-Their gaze turns ice-cold.-

Kaito: When we came, we expected you to just be hiding these guys somewhere in some safe or whatever. But using them against us out in the open like this? That has earned you guys a spot pretty high on our shit list. And if you don't surrender, we will do everything in our power to make you regret it. Capisce?

edited 1st Dec '17 1:56:20 PM by BittersweetNSour

Seafolk Village, Mina's House

Mina: Granbull, use Ice Fang!

Ludmilla: Astarte, use Iron Head!

-The Aerodactyl drops her head and slams the Granbull's snout, sending him staggering back.-

Ludmilla: Again!

-Astarte sends the poor Granbull flying out a window with a mighty *thunk*.-

Mina: Wow! That was pretty good!

Ludmilla: Um...?

Mina: So, here's a flower petal.

-Mina hands Ludmilla a pink flower petal that gives of a slight shimmer. Ludmilla, however, seems concerned elsewhere.-

Ludmilla: Should we get your Granbull out of the ocean...?

Mina: Oh, don't worry about that.

-From outside, a voice calls.-

Seafolk Chief: Don't worry, I got 'em!

Mina: Anywho, you'll find that a lot of the previous captains have the other petals you need! Get them all, and then we can summon the Totem!

Ludmilla: Wait, you can use other captains in your trial?

Mina: No rule says we can't!

Team Iron Auxillary Base

Owen: There's something I should show you and Team Iron as a whole on the Best Berry invasion end...

-Speaking of which, he shudders at Kaito's mention of Odin's death, but says nothing of it to Orlandeau-

Contact Me!

Best Berry B3

Colton elected to approach the same grunts Kaito had been talking to, the former now trailed by Rei and Sylveon. Sylveon had surprisingly been muttering something about wanting to personally throttle them.

"And he does mean we," Colton added, both Dark Flare Orbitars now spinning too fast for comprehension. "now we can play this nicely and you can scurry along, or we can make sure you wind up in Interpol custody in a body cast," he threatened.

edited 1st Dec '17 1:39:32 PM by AbsentCoder

[Insert Unoriginal Stinger Here]

Iron Aux Base

Zrone: -He chuckles softly- "I may have to take you up on bothering Previa when I'm done with this. I could use the pick me up."

-He nods and turns- "If I get something to report, you'll be the first to hear."

-And he exits the room-

edited 1st Dec '17 1:39:05 PM by Verax

"If there is no way to win, I will simply force a way."

Team Iron Auxiliary Base

-Orlandeau's brow furrows hard enough to look physically painful. He motions to the screen.-

Orlandeau: Go ahead...

---

-Aulstyne nods.-

-Wait. Was she forgetting about something?-

-...-

-Ah, right. Post-crisis ice cream.-

-Small indulgences, and all that.-

Seafolk Village

-Ludmilla taps her foot in thought.-

Ludmilla: Who was the first captain, again...?

Deziree: Wasn't it that boy who always said, "Hello! Captain whatshisname here!"

Ludmilla: Captain... captain...

Deziree: L... L... Loma? Lindsey? Lima bean?

Ludmilla: Ilima! That's what his name was! Over on Route 2!

Deziree: We'll head there next, then. The ferry should be good to go for Hau'oli City.

Team Iron Aux Base

-Owen's eyes glow blue again as the screen starts playing, at multiple angles, footage of Blitz-

Owen: Checking my files, he seems to be a... Human turned Legendary, sir...

Contact Me!

Team Iron Auxiliary Base

-Orlandeau's eyes snap open.-

Orlandeau: Would you care to repeat that?

Team Iron Aux Base

Owen: Human... Turned... Legendary? See, look!

-he points at and replays the footage-

Contact Me!

-Realising that his attacks are doing as little to the Aggron as negative reviews did to From Space With Love's cult appeal, Gregson retreats to Shun's side as Giselle hauls the injured detective away from the battle.-

Gregson: <Try not to move him too much, okay? We don't know what's been knocked loose in there.>

edited 1st Dec '17 2:31:55 PM by Herbert40k

Trans rights are human rights. JK Rowling preaches hate. If you sit at a table with five bigots and say nothing, there are now six bigots.

Team Iron Auxiliary Base

-Orlandeau stares at the footage.-

Orlandeau: What... what am I looking at. He just... turns into a Mew?

Shaun: "How do you-nevermind. Do you know who Cyrus is? And Team Galatic?"

---

Aela: <He's at the Center. I still need to find the humans and their Pokémon. Have you seen them?>

---

Shaun: "Five to go?"

Celena: {Shaun?>

-She's still in the same spot.-

Shaun: "Shit, my bad."

-He recalls her into her Beast Ball.-

Jessica: <Where next?>

Shaun: "We could go find robo-Palkia."

"Dang that sure is totally poggers my good bitch"

Grand Darkrai

I don't take well to needles anyway...

-He breathes deeply and splits up the candybars before eating his share-

It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.

Orlok: <A bit, yeah... my parents told me what it was like when they stormed the mountain to try and control the legendaries on the top.>

Cris: <Uh... no... I'd be glad to help you look, though.>

"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every

Team Iron Aux Base

Owen: Yes, it's the damnedest thing! Ehe...

-if his brand of cyborg has sweat glands he is sweating profusely right now-

Flare B 1 F

Giselle: -to Gregson- Relax, I'm already on it,.

-she pulls out a strange device filled with fluid and attaches it to Shun's back, then speaks to him telepathically-

~You in there? You should be waking up in a sec.~

Grand Dad Darkrai

Duolis: -approaches Pent up close and inspects him up and down- You sure you're OK?

Gina: Where is this Palkia mech anyway?

Contact Me!

Team Iron Auxiliary Base

-Orlandeau turns to look at Owen with eyes that speak of sleep deprivation, irritation, exasperation, and a distinct lack of patience.-

Orlandeau: Is there something you are not being entirely forthright with me about?