ITT: We are all Pokémon Trainers

Lanakila Center

-Kaito smirks-

Kaito: It's absolutely enforced by trance. It was haunting when I faced Alli, really.

Po Town — Past

Big Data: <Admirable attempt, despite the failed execution.>

-He continues firing off Tri Attacks, attempting to give the Lucario a status of some sort-

Po Town

“I think your Porygon 2’s F5 button is stuck,” Colton chuckled as Sean sped at Big Data wrist-spike-first.

edited 18th Nov '17 7:27:34 PM by AbsentCoder

- Ever gulps-

Oh no...my team's in no state to battle Tagg.

Brie: I think it's unlikely to be a problem.

 Fighting Chamber 

Hala: Go Hariyama!

Hariyama: -Appears-

Go Pici!

Pici: -Also appears-

Drill Peck!

Pici: -Spins at Hariyama-

Hala: Fake Out!

Hariyama: -Smacks Pici aside-

Pici: -Is stunned-

Again!

Pici: -Does so-

Hariyama: -Is brought down to half health- <Argh!>

-And uses Stone Edge-

Pici: -Is also brought down to half health- <Ack!>

-And faints Hariyama with his second Drill Peck-

Hala: I feel like you're in a rush today Tagg, go Primeape!

Primeape: -To Pici- <Just the sight of a bird    burns    me up!>

Hala: Stone Edge!

Primeape: -Throws a tantrum so hard that pieces of the arena get flung at Pici-

Pici: -Is brought down to the last quarter of his health- <Ack!>

-And his beak starts sizzling-

Primeape: -Uses Stone Edge again-

Pici: -Dodges it-

Beak Blast!

Pici: -Shoots a large seed from his mouth at Primeape-

Primeape: -Is hit right between the eyes and collides with one of the barriers, fainted-

Lanakila Center

-Kaito chuckles-

Kaito: I'm just kidding, I had to go make arrangements with Kukui to let me fill the spot. You're safe.

Po Town — Past

Paula: Nah, probably was just waiting for you to make a bad decision.

-Big Data glows, Recovering(TM) half of his HP.-

 Fighting Chamber 

Hala: Go Bewear!

Bewear: <Hi! We're gonna be the best of friends!>

Pici: <...I don't like this.>

Hala: <Hammer Arm!>

Bewear: -Bringing his fist down as Pici starts sizzling again- <FIST OF FRIENDSHIP!>

Pici: <Ah cra-Faints-

Bewear: -To me- <Human, bring another frien-Ouch!>

Go Lucani!

Lucani: <...Seriously?>

Bewear: <A new friend!>

Lucani: <...>

-Goes for an Air Slash-

Bewear: -Loses about half of his health- <Argh!>

Hala: Use Rock Slide!

Bewear: Throws pieces of the arena at Lucani-

Lucani: -Is hit and loses a little more than a quarter of his health- <Ack!>

-And fires off another another Air Slash-

Bewear: <Goodbye friend!> @_@

Po Town

“‘Bad decision’?” He Chatoted. “Wouldn’t repeated usage of a move make it progressively weaker with each usage?” He realized.

“And the fact that he used Recover tells me he doesn’t have one of those “choice” thingies,” he reasoned, “so that can’t be the case either.”

Meanwhile Sean went for another Close Combat.

edited 18th Nov '17 7:39:25 PM by AbsentCoder

Lanakila Center

-Jason blinks-

...now that I've heard that, how in the world did you-

Miss Evelyn got the permission.

-beat-

The details may have been left...ambiguous.

Are you sure you're one of the good guys? Cuz that's kinda sneaky. And on top of stealing my things...

That part wasn't my idea!

Riiiiight.

 Fighting Chamber 

Lucani: <...Never again.>

Hala: Go Poliwrath!

Poliwrath: -Appears-

Hala: Use Rock Slide!

Poliwrath: -Throws pieces of the arena at Lucani, hitting him and lowering him to half heath-

Thunder!

Lucani: -Drops a lightning bolt on Poliwrath-

Poliwrath: -Is sent down to the high yellow- <Ack!>

Hala: Use Endeavour!

Poliwrath: -Glows red before smacking Lucani-

Lucani: -Is also reduced to the high yellow- <Ack!>

-Before finishing off Poliwrath with another Thunder-

Hala: It's all up to you, Crabominable!

Crabominable: -Appears- <...>

-And immediately knocks out Lucani with Stone Edge-

Lanakila Center

Ever: Oh, whew. Don't scare me like that.

Brie: You are scared of the oddest things.

Lanakila Center

Kaito: We encounter the oddest things, I don't blame you.

Po Town — Past

Paula: This is a JRPG, not a fighting game. Repeat moves are just fine as long as Torment's not in play.

-Big Data is pummeled, about twice as hard this time.-

Big Data: <Ah, there's the error I was expecting. Thank you.>

-He uses Lock On.-

edited 18th Nov '17 7:46:06 PM by BittersweetNSour

Po Town

<Well if that’s the way you’re going about this,> Sean said as he went for one last Close Combat. <then so can I!>

“Sean favors having fun over winning.” He explained

And then he realized the entire exchange. “Oh whoops, sorry for breaking my own rules.”

edited 18th Nov '17 7:48:55 PM by AbsentCoder

Warning for minor USM spoilers involving tutor moves. Unless you're reading this two months from now, so it doesn't matter at that point.

 Fighting Chamber 

Go Ali!

Ali: -Appears-

Hala: Okay Tagg, let's see who has the tougher crab!

Use Close Combat!

Ali: -Strikes at Crabominable with a flurry of blows- <Sorry, we're in a bit of rush!>

Crabominable: -Loses about a quarter of his health- <Well, so are we!>

Hala: -Does the requisite Z-Move pose-

Crabominable: -Cue All-Out Pummeling-

Ali: -Is brought down to under the last quarter of his health- <I'm not giving up!>

Endeavour!

Ali: -Glows red before smacking the other Crabominable-

Crabominable: -Is also brought down to the same- <It's over!>

-And attempts a Brick Break-

Ali: -Parries the blow- <No, now it's over!>

Didn't expect this to be a thing, but.

-Does the Z-Move dance, followed by holding my left arm out while my right does the Pstandard Psychic Pstance-

-Ali's eyes glow before Hala's Crabominable is telekinetically lifted and slammed against the walls of a psychic barrier, the final blow shattering it-

Crabominable: @_@

Hala: -Recalling Crabominable- I could feel the power you gained on your journey through Alola, Tagg.

-The teleporter activates-

But be careful, for your toughest challenge awaits.

-Nods before exiting-

edited 18th Nov '17 7:54:45 PM by rmctagg09

Po Town — Past

Paula: Come on, if I gave a damn about sticking to the rules, I'd be out of a job. We're criminals, remember?

-Big Data manages to survive the last Close Combat.-

Big Data: <Careful with that. Letting your guard down like that is dangerous.>

-With the Special Defense drops that came with each Close Combat, Big Data fires off a perfect-accuracy Hyper Beam.-

Po Town

With what he did settling in, Sean bailed and Lucario was left standing in the Hyper Beam’s wake.

<... DAMMIT SEAN!> He swore before getting blasted by the Hyper Beam. And he was down.

“Yep, that tears it. We’re each down to our last one.” Colton sighed, returning Lucario, who had only just replaced his Expert Belt around his forehead before dematerializing.

Lanakila Center

Ever: Go Tagg! You've got this!

Brie: So who is the champion...

 Alola League Hall 

-As the final teleporter activates-

So, after this, the Champion, or the closest thing to it, awaits.

-And enters-

 Champion's Arena 

-Walking up the stairs-

My, our entire journey this past year is all going to culminate at this point.

Professor Kukui: -Waiting at the top- Tagg, you've finally arrived!

-Smirks-

You didn't think I'd miss this for the world, did you?

Professor Kukui: Of course not, cousin! While I have no desire to be Champion myself, this is the perfect opportunity for finally doing our rematch. Two researchers, battling it out on the summit of Mt. Lanakila...

-Pulling out a Poké Ball-

Shall we?

-A Poké Ball appearing from my sleeve-

We shall!

-We both throw our balls at once, Pici and a Midday Lycanroc coming out of them-

-Phoenix stares at a glistening black stone across the yard.-

Phoenix: ... Must be my lucky day.

-He starts to stroll over to the stone, when suddenly...-

Musharna: <NO WAY IN HELL ASSHOLE, THAT'S MY JIMMY'S MOONSTONE>

Phoenix: Woah, chill out-

Musharna: <AW HEEEELLLLLL NO YOU DIDN'T JUST TELL ME TO CHILL OUT>

Musharna: <COME GET SOME>

Phoenix: Geh... come on out, Jitters.

Jitters: <What what are we doing are we fighting I'll have you know I ranked second in->

Phoenix: JUST SHUT UP AND USE MEGAHORN

Jitters: <Ok boss whatever you say I'll just use my Megahorn and here we go->

-He charges horn-first at the pissed-off Musharna.-

Musharna: <AUGHRKZIBDJD DID YOU JUST MEGAHORN ME I'LL FUCK YOU UP>

-The Musharna uses Psychic.-

Jitters <Yowza boss my head hurts I think I might be getting a case of Influenza my doctor said I should drink 12 oz. of honey->

Phoenix: THE POKEMON START TALKING AND THEY DON'T STOP

Lanakila Center

Kaito: ...Somehow I am not surprised by this matchup.

Po Town — Past

Paula: Fun fact, the trick with Big Data is a little thing we call Neutralize. For him, literally anything Normal-type throws type matchups out the window, because we're a bunch of dirty cheaters. So yeah, that Expert Belt was sorta pointless.

-She recalls him and sends out her last Pokemon, an Exploud.-

Banshee: <ARE YOU READYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY>

-No matter who Colton sends out, they're immediately blasted by a Boomburst-

Lanakila Center

Ever: ....Oh. That makes sense.

 Champion's Arena 

Kukui: Lycanroc, use Stone Edge!

Lycanroc: -Sends up stone shards at Pici-

Pici, dodge and use Brick Break!

Pici: -Manages to fly to the side of the sides before slamming into Lycanroc beak first-

Lycanroc: -Loses a quarter of his health- <Here I thought your trainer mismatched.>

Pici: <You thought wrong.>

Kukui: Another Stone Edge!

Lycanroc: -Sends out more shards-

Pici: -Is hit this time, losing roughly a third of his health- <Ack!>

Another Brick Break!

Pici: -Rams into Lycanroc again-

Lycanroc: -Is sent under half health- <Argh, I've had enough of this!>

-And sends out a Stone Edge at crit strength-

Pici: -Is sent down to the high yellow- <Ack!>

-And tries for another Brick Brick, just as Lycanroc attempts a Stone Edge-

…

-When the dust clears, both mons are knocked out-

Po Town

With Colton’s and Amaterasu’s hearing kaput for the next few minutes, Colton now had to conjure illusory text to communicate.

The Expert Belt is less a matter of practicality and more a practice of ease. My Lucario actually has three different personalities with different fighting styles.

Sean - the one you saw - is the one centered around quick strikes and physical output. Lucario - no nickname as he is the “base” - has balanced physical and special strikes. You were lucky you did not have to send your Porygon 2 out against D.C. He is the most deliberate of the three and one of the most powerful special attackers I’ve ever seen.

Amaterasu’s drought activated, but she was not in pristine condition. So she sent out a Will-o-wisp fire.

edited 18th Nov '17 8:33:30 PM by AbsentCoder

Lanakila Center

- Ever blinks-

Ooh, cross counter.

 Champion's Arena 

Kukui: -Recalling Lycanroc- Guess we'll call that one a draw.

-Doing the same-

Yeah.

Both: Go!

-A Premier Ball and regular Poké Ball are thrown in the air, an Alolan Muk and Ninetales coming out-

Botuli, use Poison Jab!

Botuli: -Starts jabbing at Ninetales-

Ninetales: -Loses a little over a quarter of her health- <My fur!>

Kukui: Use Dazzling Gleam!

Ninetales: -Sends out a ray of light at Botuli-

Botuli: -Loses about a quarter of her health- <Ack!>

Another Poison Jab!

Botuli: -Does so-

Ninetales: -It crits, and she's sent to under half health- <Ick!>

-Cue another Dazzling Gleam-

Botuli: -Is brought down to under half, but retaliates with another Poison Jab-

Ninetales: <Utterly disgusting…>

-Faints-

Kukui: Go Braviary!

Braviary: -Appears-

Use Brave Bird!

Braviary: -Flies up before ramming Botuli at high speed-

Botuli: -Is brought down to the high yellow-

...Botuli's not going to last long after this.

One more Poison Jab!

Botuli: -Does so-

Braviary: -Is brought down to half health between the Poison Jab and Brave Bird's recoil-

<Urk!>

Kukui: Crush Claw!

Braviary: -Rakes Botuli with his talons, fainting her-

Phoenix: Megahorn again.

-The newly-duct-taped Heracross lunges at the newly-duct-taped Musharna.-

Jitters: <Mph Mmph!>

Musharna: <Mmph...>

-The Musharna goes down.-

Phoenix: Great, only took HALF AN HOUR.

-He walks over to the Moon Stone, and takes out Lawrence.-

Phoenix: Ready, buddy?

Lawrence: <Yep.>

-The Nidorino touches the stone and disappears in a flash of light. A few seconds later, a Nidoking stands in his place, smacking his claws together.-

Lawrence: <Ah, that newly-evolved feeling. Loving it.>