Mental differences between those who want kids, and those who don't

But what about the nine months of morning sickness and swollen feet?

Some people have it really easy. Not every pregnancy's morning sickness and swollen feet. My cousin's wife had a "what do you mean I'm six months pregnant" pregnancy.

Generally most morning sickness will go away within the first trimester- your hormones stablize around 13 weeks.

A friend of mine knew a girl who was once 8 months pregnant and didn't wig till she started contraction.

edited 9th Feb '11 5:50:29 PM by joeyjojo

I'd do everything I could to foster their natural curiosity, and I'd try to build a love of learning that couldn't even be destroyed by the public school system.

I like the cut of your jib!

My wife dealt with morning-noon-and-night sickness. Bad. Lost weight in the first trimester, almost got to below a hundred pounds on the first child. Then she bounced back, balooned out and delivered perfectly normal kids, both times. Then, she has to deal with the gobulin E thing every time. Almost had problem with the second one over it. I was about ready to get myself fixed, as the blood disorder that results from that can kill the unborn child.

Yeah, I had a number of sleepelss nights wondering if everything was going to work out okay or not.

And she is still pushing for another four kids o_O

edited 9th Feb '11 5:54:18 PM by joeyjojo

Oh no, not any more. Maybe one more, but that's dependent on our finances and stuff. Took me seven years to beat that fact of life into her thick skull, but I managed.

Thanks, Rott. The battering that my own love of learning took is only now being healed by the Internet and finally being able to choose some of my classes.

But since I wouldn't be happy with myself unless I was the best mom I could be, I would probably want to be a stay-at-home mom. And it's kind of weird, because already I'm trying to think of careers I could do at home. Or at least, thinking of a career I could switch to when I'm ready to have kids. I feel strange, like it's not natural to put so much weight on this when I'm still in high school.

I would like to have kids, but frankly i'm too selfish to see myself share custody with anyone. So unless the government lifts the restrictions on adoption or surrogacy no kids for me

edited 9th Feb '11 6:02:54 PM by joeyjojo

Awww, that's sweet.

What are the restrictions on adoption at this point, besides a background check (which honestly should be applied to biological parents, too)?

you have to be a married hetro sexual couple at least

edited 9th Feb '11 8:06:41 PM by joeyjojo

That's kind of unfair. It has nothing to do with your ability as a parent. Kids are losing out on good potential homes.

What, are single people legally not allowed to adopt children anymore?

Single folk can't have kids?

Well, I suppose that could make sense. Being raised by one person has difficulties. And a single person could be abusive or dangerous, I guess.

It's hard to imagine someone getting a kid just to abuse them, then again...

Still not total justification, but I suppose it can be a good reason. I guess it depends on whether you go by how much you gain or how much you lose.

@Anonym What, and a two-parent home can't be abusive and dangerous?

No, it's just that a single person walking in and nabbing an orphan child sounds a little iffy.

However such is definitely exaggerated, so I doubt such is reason enough to ax all of the capable parents out there.

@Anonym I can't think of a reason for iffyness that wouldn't be presented in a two-parent setting.

Pretty much, yeah.

Just a primal fear, is all.

@Anonym A primal fear of what? Single parents?

I dunno. Wandering rapists or something.

Irrational, I know. Stuff like that sort of gets built in when you work around kids whilst carefully following safe haven laws.

For example, if you need to take a kid to the bathroom, you need at least one other person with you, so they can vouch for you if necessary... and to ensure that you yourself aren't evil.

Also, depending on the gender of the bathroomee, you want to choose a similar gendered person to go with you. What with men raping little girls and all.

edited 10th Feb '11 12:59:30 AM by TheMightyAnonym

@Anonym That makes sense on its own, but what does that have to do with single parents being able to adopt?

They might be worried about the child not getting both sides of the parenting equation. A mom and a dad. Yeah, I'm an old-school fogey, I think a child should be raised, if at all possible, by two parents who were married. That's what I got as a kid, and I think I turned out okay...

Plus, with a single parent, there's just one adult to do all the work. One income, so I hope your job is enough in today's economy to cover all the living expenses - we manage to do it off of my income, but I make pretty good money - it wasn't always like that with us, and the wife used to work to cover some of the smaller bills. As soon as my income alone was enough to make do, she quit and became a stay-at-home mom, which is a full-time job in and of itself... Not to mention, unpaid.

Adopt an older child, like a teen or so, and you can watch all the food disappear from your fridge in three days - I used to do that, and it drove my parents nuts...!

Not saying that single-parent families are impossible, but that just takes all the work that you can normally split between both parents and dumps it all on one set of shoulders - why would you willingly want to do that?

Again, I'm not trying to judge anyone on how they were raised, as I had plenty of friends that came from divorced families - seemed like I was the only one out of all my friends that had my parents still together. I find today's divorce rate to be appalling and saddening.

Adoption seems to be much easier in America than Australia. A friend of mine is adopted from out of the country, and her parents spent years on waiting lists for a brother for her. And they're the sort of people you'd think would be perfect candidates.

edited 10th Feb '11 2:47:13 AM by LoniJay

Yes Australia has ridiculously high standards. Although from what I'll heard there is a full blow 'adoption industry' in the US.

edited 10th Feb '11 4:40:06 AM by joeyjojo