Help! I think I'm becoming a bit of a weird Fascist and Nationalist we

Not only do I know how socially unacceptable it's considered, anything resembling Nazism is considered Acceptable Targets, by pretty much every living being. The stigma is about as bad as it gets. Much of even espousing the ideology being outright banned.

And I'm the last person to be expected to have anything in common with anything of the sort. I'm an extreme Left Libertarian, an Anarcho-Socialist, A Feminist, a Social Constructionist, an Anti-Statist to the point of disapproving of all borders and different countries, Gay Liberationist, I am incredibly racially sensitive, adamant anti-racial Separatist, adamant Interculturalist, frequently rallying against Capitalism and the ruling class, sexism, and the state.

And yet, I've grown oddly fascinated by and maybe even possibly growing sympathetic to, or at least mildly apathetic to many of the problems of, Turanism and Neo-Eurasianism.

I'm not even Eastern European! I'm not even European other than of ethnic descent. I'm a Southern United States American of Anglo-Celtic descent. Mostly. With some German and Swiss and Swedish heritage thrown about.

So why? It's one of the most nonsensical things to be influenced possible!

Well, I've noticed, that I've developed terrible racial and ethnic complexes over the years, as a "white American". The terrible contrast of human beings on the supposed side of the extreme Antifascism. The United States is full of ethnic conflict, even though there is supposed to be great multiculture, it's multiculture, and interculture. People are so busy contrasting people. Nobody has meshed at all, instead we make obvious any contrasts between us. I hate the terrible comedians who make crass racial comedy their routines. I hate the Dave Chappels and Chris Rocks of the world.

People writing constant books and publications about race. Blacks calling blacks who befriend whites traitors. Demonizing whites. Demonizing integration. Acting like the term "bourgeois" is another word for "white". "Those white folks will never accept you, stay away from them". And people agree, many will call you racist if you disagree. You can write the most racist piece of trash, and many people of all races will call it "enlightened". East Asians over in Asia are largely occupied with their ethnic conflicts with East other, many of which spawning from World War II. Fools don't go around to Japanese Neoclassical concerts and Gothic Lolitas calling them "twinkies". They only see themselves engaging in lovely culture, like many Westerns do who have ornate Asian decorations. It's more natural for them to dress in Western Victorian clothing than to dress in a Hanbok. Because they don't see themselves as "Asian identified", they see themselves as Japanese people or Koreans or Chinese. But here we have loads of publications by Asian Americans calling for a "racial" Asian identity.

Motivated not by the interest in Asian culture, the culture of the lands they emigrated from. But a fixation on ethnic issues. Calling Asians who do less well in school or are interested in rock music as "acting white". While many of other ethnicities, find the interest in school "white and nerdy".

At the same token, it is impossible to many, the majority, the "Conservative", to see a minority as anything more than that. And it becomes self perpetuating on both ends. It doesn't matter if a person is a racist ethnic minority, people will try to ethnicize "non-White" Presidents and Senators and other political figures. Drawing attention to their "race", and calling them racist and saying that they've only been hired because of political correctness, even if they are incredibly qualified and never racist in the slightest.

One can say it's looking at the "grass as greener", but I am sick of our culture. I think there are some differences and that it is a personal taste thing.

Worse off, when you try to criticize, you look to others like a racist. Ethnic humour is caused by diversity, and so you have to accept this painful situation, or you're a racist separatist, no exceptions.

If you have any remote interest in an ethnicity of a certain type, you're a fetishist, you're stereotyping, you're dehumanizing. If you have interest in "Asian cultures", you're a delusional person with white privilege. Asians don't want to be among you. You can't claim there is any possible reason to be attracted to an "Asian feature", if you do have a fetish of any sort, because there's "no such thing", and that you're stereotyping. We even had a discussion that didn't exactly look positive about it, here. And yet, those same people will take back the statement "race doesn't exist, and that is why Asian fetishism is wrong", elsewhere, and claim that there are very real cultural and racial differences between Easterners and Westerners. It's as if they actually only meant to disapprove of the "Asian fetish" because they needed to erect a wall between the two perceived groups. And didn't really mean to say and believe that Asians should be seen as individuals, because only a "delusional Asiaphile" wouldn't know the difference between how Easterners and Westerners are. And once people find out the person attracted to this Easterner, saying she's pretty or the like, is a Westerner, will often protest, saying "I'm tired of these weeaboos fawning over my women", "go look at your own women".

To us, to many cultures, Japanese people are "silly" for drawing characters whom are "Mukokuseki". While to them it is natural and comfortable. We have to strike up drama about the matter. We, call Westerners who are interested in Japanese or Asian cultures, "Wapanese", "Weeaboo", "Japanophile"(as if the word could mean nothing more than an insult), Asiaphile, Asian fetishist.

We call couples who are "mixed" between, say, a Chinese person, or a Mexican person, and a "white person", of "mixed race", and we call that person something like "Eurasian", and "Hapa". Even if there is ever a "beauty" in meeting of cultures and people, people are sure to act as if this wasn't natural, and how "different" they are. As if the only people in the world are the two distinct groups, Western Europeans and East Asians. And any meetings is to clearly be half. As if the area of Eurasia doesn't exist at all.

You can do so little as say "I like cute things": Weeaboo. "I like androgyny": Weeaboo. "I think that the East and West aren't so different, and the separation is a really contrived thing": Weeaboo. "I think that Eastern and Western culture are different, and there are Asian things I like": Weeaboo.

I can on, and on, for hours, at this simple racial pain. One of Separatism and responsibility that isn't enjoyable or fun, it is painful and constricting, a maniacal dance of pain where one can do no right. Where all the rights are wrong and racist and the racist wrongs are right.

And then there is the fact that the Altaic people exist, that Uralic people exist, that Eurasian nationalities exist. Beautiful. Completely counter to all of the messed up logic in situations. Exempt from so many things of racial worth.

I have gotten into Neofolk and Martial Industrial in recent year. In Black Metal and Folk Metal, and Death and Doom Metal. In Industrial and Gothic in general. In Folk in general. The beauty of Romantic culture across all of Eurasia. This is what I have always liked. Elegant, ornate, folk, classical, nerdy, geeky, fanciful. Not sterilized by all that is crass in the modern world. A true opium of life. Classical, not ebonics. Rococo, not school red brick. And everyone in this Martial Industrial genre, they expect a different kind of duty to race, they neither disagree with many of the crass things these other people I wanted escape from had. They believe the only race you can trust is your own, and you have a duty to it. But filled with honour, aesthetic beauty, fanciful mythology. They didn't have a problem with Nature and Organisation writing "Tears for an Eastern Girl", they didn't have a problem with Douglas P. and Boyd Rice getting together and touring in Japan, they didn't have a problem with Hagia Sophia being almost a love song to the West in the East

And yet also, Russia is a place that is so Western and Eastern. Able to have a "white supremacist" like pride in both. Ferenc Szálasi could just as easily be seen as a White Supremacist Nazi as a Turanist, an ideology that goes all the way into East Asia, Korea and Mongolia and Japan. That calls for Unity, even racist, ethnic preservationist, Unity between Hungary, and all the way into Asia. Fascism is disgusting, and yet after all I have been through and seen in my life, it gives me goosebumps and comfort me. As a person who has cried, and simply couldn't let go of some Asian things in my life. Who was tired of feeling like some "stupid Wapanese". Who was disturbed and pained by "East is East, and West is West, and never twain shall meet, and you Asiaphiles need to learn that", racist, or race traitors, to feel loved by no one and wanting to give up things you love because they're not white enough, or not diverse enough, the brain in two. The most beautiful diversion, came from, of all things, fascists.

I've come in recent year to Romanitize any and all connections between the East and West that no one may take away. To nestle in something that can allow me to sleep at night, even if that thing, especially if that thing, is associated with white supremacist racism.

To escape from the underlying painful feelings and memories I have acquired over the years. Of the "Got Rice" and the "Secret Asian Man". Of the hated Applemilk and the Magibon, of the Margaret Cho, of the Harold & Kumar. I have tried to drown it out in my mind, not just with the Gothic Lolita, the Mukokuseki anime, the Occident in Visual Kei. But the Ferenc Szálasi, the shared Communism between Russia and China, the Xiongnu, Konstantin Rodzaevsky, the Ainu, Attila the Hun, the NSJAP, Savitri Devi, the Saami, and the list goes on and on...

And people naturally react as negatively and as suspiciously as I would expect. They are able to read between the lines when I talk about Agglutinative language, the "diversity" of China, the Saami, and the like. That even my username may signify a dip over into a fascism. People have called me a "politically correct weeaboo" and a "white supremacist weeaboo" alike. And they are probably right on both counts. I have become willing to take any avenue to shut out from the world which racially disturbs me. To feel within any fibre of my being that I have an excuse and I'm not silly and worthless for having an interest in something deemed too Eastern for me.

I don't know what it means and I'm to do, but I'm tired of feeling like I must be truly falling apart at the seams. And I'm tired of this desire for this agenda increasing only more and more with every year. My desires for interculturalism were once innocent and happy. But since 2006, they have gradually become dark, evil, and racist, of which many I am afraid to share. I've started to feel the only way to justify myself and many of my innermost comforts and emotions, is to seek justification in the "darkness" I see myself in. The deal with this pain I would seek to Unify and Nationalize the North, and care not for the plight of those in warm climate.

Well, I'd better get this post out there before I feel self conscious and embarrassed and choose to delete it. I'll only want to get this out of my system again. Tell me, what am I? Can a Left Libertarian, Feminist, Gay Liberationist and Anti-Nationalist, also be a bit of a Cultural Conservative, a Localist, and a bit of even a Fascist? What's happening to my mind, and what does this all mean?

Genkidama for Japan, even if you don't have money, you can help![1]

What?

Look, I'm just gonna say it again, I think you're too obsessed with labels. Get over it and don't be afraid of Hitler Ate Sugar.

Isn't fascism the opposite of libertarianism?

Enjoy the Inferno...

I don't know, tell that to all the Leftists who called my Localism bourgeois.

To all the people who called my Cultural Conservatism Fascist.

To all the thousands of people who think I am racist. And I feel like I'm falling further and further into racist desires because I can't let go of my interculturalism. Personally I think of myself as a Libertarian Socialist, Feminist, Gay Liberationist, Interculturalist, and maybe a little bit of a Localist and Cultural Conservative. What I fear though is that I'm become a White Supremacist, Eurasianist, and a Turanist.

I know it seems like everyone else thinks I'm a Racist. A delusional self hating white boy full of white privilege.

edited 6th Feb '11 6:23:55 PM by Ukonkivi

Genkidama for Japan, even if you don't have money, you can help![1]

When you said that you hate hearing people discuss race relations, I didn't get the impression that you're a racist per se. It's normal for White people to try to ignore race and minimize racism.

(I didn't read your entire post, but this was the gist I got. Feel free to correct any misunderstanding.)

edited 6th Feb '11 6:30:08 PM by Grain

Anime geemu wo shinasai!

Statism's the opposite of Libertarianism. But fascism's close.

Ukonkivi, you aren't a fascist. You're just unhappy for what seems to be a number of different reasons mashed together. Just try to...relax, I guess. I know that seems really stupid, and simple, and unhelpful, but just try. Life goes on, you know? Racism's bad, but things will always get better. And you don't need to listen to the people who put you down.

Except for 4/1/2011. That day lingers in my memory like...metaphor here...I should go.

It's a white thing to want to not think about race? Could've fooled me.

It's more like, I'm becoming obsessed with Eurasian culture, and even hauntingly am starting to romanticize Nationalists for their culture. All because it doesn't support the East West dichotomy. In which I seem to become addicted to and obsessed with anything which defies East and West and overlaps and compares the two instead of contrasts, to ease my mind and give me peace. Because I started getting an inferiority complex about my interests in various things from "Eastern" cultures.

Now I fear I'm become a "Nazi" of sorts. And that everyone is catching on to the subtle hints at my ideology. And I myself don't know how to reconcile all of my ethnic/gender/political feelings. That is, I think I'm starting to become a racist. When I used to spend lots of time claiming to be an anti-racist and combating racism.

edited 6th Feb '11 6:41:18 PM by Ukonkivi

Genkidama for Japan, even if you don't have money, you can help![1]

Do you want to kill Jews? Do you want to take over Austria? If not, then no, you're not a fucking Nazi.

Do you discriminate against people based on their race? If not, then no, you're not a fucking racist.

Culture =/= race, just remember that and you're fine. It's perfectly fine to be interested in different cultures, as long as you don't go screaming that you think X culture should take over the world or some similar dumb shit.

edited 6th Feb '11 6:44:01 PM by melloncollie

Ukon:

1. Calm the fuck down, bro.

2. ninety per cent of people in the world are jackasses and will Strawman the hell out of you.

3. Don't pay attention to labels. If you define yourself by labels you leave little room for free thought.

4. Also, the above statement's end. Culture and race are very different things. There exists a 'black culture' in America way more than there does in say Britain or Canada. At the same time, if you look, you'll notice that many black people don't identify primarily as 'black', and I've seen kids whiter than me listening to gangster rap. It's a social thing.

EDIT: I used the 'black culture' example because that's the one most prevalent where I am from. I understand there's also a huge (and I mean fucking huge) cluster of Americans who romanticize Eastern culture and Asians (especially in Japan) that romanticize Western culture.

edited 6th Feb '11 6:50:19 PM by Diamonnes

My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.

This is actually a really good thing. Discussing race issues is something that we should all do as much as possible. Even if you're afraid, say what you feel. Simply having an open dialogue makes things better for everyone.

Anime geemu wo shinasai!

I don't want to kill Jews. In fact most of my most favourite political thinkers are Jewish. However, I grow a few feelings of worry and distrust, and maybe even disgust for the Israeli government. To the point one might almost call Antisemitic.

I also love Martial Industrial and how it Romanticizes Occidental culture. I like that Konstantin Rodzaevsky is fascinating, and probably a better person than the people responsible for his death. I think that Savitri Devi is a fascinating person whom I have a lot in common with. I believe the Ural-Altaic and Eurasiatic language theories most likely to be true. And I think that Altaic groups have invented plenty and contributed to Chinese culture, and often don't get fair treatment by the Han. I don't think that East and West have different cultures, and think that much invention has been shared between the two, and invented by people between the two.

I guess it's too easy to get the Nazi label. But I've definitely gotten called a lot of "Nazi" like labels. To the point I'm starting to feel like I have an "inner Nazi". Like a weird intercultural white supremacist sort of version.

No it's not, it's disturbing and disgusting. And part of the reason I have so many mental issues right now. Before I heard about it all the time, I was happy and healthy and didn't have all sorts of racial complexes.

4chan /new/ and /n/, the news section, discussed race issues as much as possible. And it got it closed down, twice. Probably more than that. And /int/ is under threat of doing the same because they're also talking about race all of the time. It doesn't matter what discussion about race it's been, every discussion about it I've been into has made my life feel more spit on than before. The times in my life that I have talked about race and the most disgusting and self degrading feeling ones, they are the tainted parts of existence. They are the parts of my existence that should have never had to be there. They are a wrought piece of tar and worthlessness on mine and everyone who has engaged in it.

edited 6th Feb '11 7:02:40 PM by Ukonkivi

Genkidama for Japan, even if you don't have money, you can help![1]

Yeah I don't like the Israeli government but am I a Nazi? No. Same way you can be Christian and dislike priests.

What Diammones said. You're taking what other people say way too seriously. And by that I don't mean you shouldn't listen to other people at all, but that there should be some basis to what you think that's not "a bunch of people said so".

No, that's called growing up. I doubt there's any adults who didn't have some sort of inner difficulty when dealing with Complex Adult Issues.

v Huh? What's IJBM got to do with anything?

edited 6th Feb '11 6:58:51 PM by melloncollie

@melloncollie - Yeah, that was my reaction too.

Let's just say that there's a reason IJBM existed.

Now, to address the OP.

Left libertarianism is like the opposite of fascism. I wouldn't worry about becoming a fascist if I were in your position.

Would you kindly click my dragons?

Completely unnecessary ones. It's people thinking about something as pointless as it all the time that's why racism exists in the first place. If people didn't care about something so pointless and disgusting, we could worry about better things.

Genkidama for Japan, even if you don't have money, you can help![1]

Anthropological fact: Racial issues are not going to go away for a long, long time. Get used to it. IMHO, the best solution is to take pride in your heritage- just keep in mind that everyone else has heritage to take pride from as well.

My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.

Also cultural conservatism and cultural liberalism are both compatible with libertarianism/voluntarism.

Enjoy the Inferno...

Proving what I said.

edited 6th Feb '11 7:02:55 PM by Grain

Anime geemu wo shinasai!

So filling people's minds with racial complexes and racial pain is helpful?

Sorry, I think that people should be happy and healthy. I think that's helpful.

Yes, we should all be wrought in misery! I think we should put all of us in a large building and have us slowly kill each other in the most painful ways possible!

edited 6th Feb '11 7:05:36 PM by Ukonkivi

Genkidama for Japan, even if you don't have money, you can help![1]

It not "filling your mind." That would imply that race issues are imaginary or unimportant.

edited 6th Feb '11 7:06:06 PM by Grain

Anime geemu wo shinasai!

Pardon?

Genkidama for Japan, even if you don't have money, you can help![1]

Are you saying that you would prefer to be blissfully ignorant about race issues?

edited 6th Feb '11 7:06:25 PM by Grain

Anime geemu wo shinasai!

Yes, I could have lived my whole life without having heard about the pointless, most useless racial BS I've seen in my life. Which is, the entire topic itself.

Not only is that an obvious yes, it's a painfully obvious yes. Yes, I would prefer to be mentally together and happier right now. Yes, I don't want that trauma, it should have never been there.

edited 6th Feb '11 7:09:51 PM by Ukonkivi

Genkidama for Japan, even if you don't have money, you can help![1]

This matches a psychological stage in racial identity development that I read about. The book is somewhere in my house. . .

edited 6th Feb '11 7:10:41 PM by Grain

Anime geemu wo shinasai!

No, because unless you decide to live under a rock sooner or later you'd have to deal with it.

Why is it so painful? It may be uncomfortable or scary, but painful? Do you suffer from White guilt?

edited 6th Feb '11 7:11:10 PM by Grain

Anime geemu wo shinasai!