Which of these two people..

I would probably like both of them about the same, just for different reasons.

"I don't know how I do it. I'm like the Mr. Bean of sex." -Drunkscriblerian

I hate how everybody is giving Bob shit for growing a pair. Confidence doesn't make you an asshole.

Disdain, however, tends to.

And better than thy stroke; why swellest thou then?

Depends on how you do it. There's a difference between not wanting to hang out with people that remind you of your bad days and drag you down, and becoming a bully.

"I don't know how I do it. I'm like the Mr. Bean of sex." -Drunkscriblerian

To be painfully honest, I've ran into people before who I just thought were pathetic wretches. I didn't bully them, but I had no interest in being around them either.

I think its telling that we're being asked to choose one or the other. Personally, I'd like them both for different reasons. Bob for putting a positive spin on his insecurity, and Alice for a display of humility. Funny, this actually describes two of my friends perfectly.

Since my post sort of inspired this, I'll weigh in.

There's a vast gulf of difference between not having pity for people who refuse to change (yet keep bitching) and being openly disdainful of them. If asked, yes...I don't feel much sympathy for those who are whining instead of trying to fix. But I don't go around shoving it in people's faces (unless I'm inebriated and its somewhat on-topic).

Oh and as to being "self-satisfied"...if you're satisfied, you haven't really improved at all. Real improvement requires constant re-evaluation of self.

It should also be noted that I said trying to fix; deep-seated personal problems like shyness can take years to overcome, as well as a lot of effort. It's fallacy to expect any effort to have an effect overnight.

In other words, I myself have a problem with a mindset rather than the behavior of inaction. If you're happy being fat/awkward/neurotic/whatever, by all means continue. If you don't like it, do something. But if you are unwilling to do something about it, don't complain about it in my presence and expect a bunch of sympathy. you won't get it.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

^ That's very well put.

And better than thy stroke; why swellest thou then?

Exactly. If you're happy with your flaws, that's great. If you're unhappy and trying to change them or improve upon them, also great. If you're unhappy with them, aren't doing anything to move in a positive direction, and complain about it? Fuck you.

Also well put.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

That is an enlightening post, drunkscriblerian. Thank you. I do have a question, though: "telling"? How so?

I did say "are they the same?"; I'm not asking you to choose between the two except in the sense that I'm asking if you do feel differently. If you don't, that's partly what I'm asking.

Maybe "self-satisfied" was the wrong expression, sorry. Most Bob-like people I've met have had a tendency to brag a little and come across as quite critical of other people, which is what I was referring to.

This. Please note that I didn't say "open disdain" or "bullying"; there's no reason to suppose that Bob is particularly nasty about it.

As far as disdain for the easily offended is concerned, I don't really see how whether a person is attempting to change or not has any bearing on that. Somebody might be trying very hard to change themselves for the better, but if Bob says something that strikes a nerve, that somebody might not be sufficiently self-aware to rein in their shock or anger, which Bob may interpret as whining (it may indeed be whining).

edited 28th Jan '11 2:03:33 AM by BobbyG

Welcome To TV Tropes | How To Write An Example | Text-Formatting Rules | List Of Shows That Need Summary | TV Tropes Forum | Know The Staff

I'm the bob of the two , so I say bob. I still have Angst, I just have a disdain for the world but in reverse of how bob has it.

edited 28th Jan '11 7:23:19 AM by americanbadass

[[User Banned]]_ My Pm box ix still open though, I think?

Meh; I'm like Bob in that I tend to dislike/fail to comprehend the offense and stress of others, but given that 19 out of 20 people are like that, I simply treat it as a reality of the world I live in/

Kind of apathetic, but ah well.

It actually took a long time for me to realize that people just don't pay attention when you tell them to relax or that something isn't a big deal; I gave up eventually though and just accepted things. It's not that everyone else is really weak, it's that I'm just unusually strong in a certain respect.

I must wonder though; is everyone's dislike of Bob related to how they perceive he treats other's  ^*

? Or does everyone dislike him because he doesn't get upset or offended?

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD

I think it's probably the former Anonym.

Eating a Vanilluxe will give you frostbite.

Huh?

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD

The first choice on your final line.

Eating a Vanilluxe will give you frostbite.

Ahhhhhhh.

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD

Yeah, I'm a cynical sort that figures if you're using the word 'disdain' you probably are being polite for 'this person is a jerk who looks down on people and mocks them openly'. It's the whole "I'm better than you because my path was different" attitude I dislike.

BTW, I'm a chick.

I like that Bob has "grown a pair". That's good. Getting in control of your life and whatnot. What I really don't like about him is that he's basically developed a disdain for people who are just like he used to be. That shows that he's ashamed of his past in an unhealthy way. Doesn't sound like a healthy attitude to me, as if it's just a facade and he has to actively dissociate himself from his old self to maintain his confidence. No, Bob needs to grow up a bit and sympathise with people who once upon a time were him.

Alice's change is somewhat more positive, I think. She has clearly matured and realised that she was being nasty. I'm not seeing the bad side of her transformation.

edited 28th Jan '11 4:17:16 PM by Shichibukai

Requiem ~ September 2010 - October 2011 [Banned 4 Life]

@Bobby: From your response, I guess we're just on opposite sides of the issue. I can see your point, I just don't agree with it. I feel there's too much whining and not enough toughening up.

Sure, people say things that hurt feelings, but you cannot control what others do. You can only control how you react to it, and bemoaning the evils of the world doesn't change a thing. Besides, having mediated many a dispute between friends, I will postulate that a good 2/3rds (or more) of hurt feelings stem from simple misunderstandings, rather than any sense of maliciousness on either side.

For me, the line between self-reliance and arrogance is drawn by one's willingness to extend assistance to those that are trying to better themselves. After all, no one makes it alone; those who insist they did are doing the help they received a grave disservice, and taking refuge in the arrogance you and yours claim to despise. (Note: I don't much care for it either.)

In my path of self-improvement, I've had many people help me; some in small ways, some much larger. I figure its my job to pass that on to others who might need it...which in turn plays into what I always tell people I've assisted, when they ask how they're supposed to repay me.

"Don't pay it back," I always tell them. "Pass it on."

I'll supply advice, favors, even money and living space if I'm able...the one thing I won't supply is sympathy to those for whom that is all they want. To me, its irresponsible, something akin to feeding a drug addict his chosen poison just because he really wants it. And yes, I feel sympathy is something people can become addicted to. Drugs, booze, cigarettes, money, sex, religion, or simple validation...everybody's got their something, and some are better choices than others. And a sympathy addiction is not one I feel like feeding.

Done being pedantic now, got to go help a friend ring in their birthday.

P.S. As far as what I meant by "telling", it seemed to me the OP was implying that there was a right and a wrong choice; that you favored Alice over Bob. You've since explained that's not the case; I withdraw the assertion.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

Deep.

I respect your position. I think that "you cannot control what others do. You can only control how you react to it, and bemoaning the evils of the world doesn't change a thing" can apply to offence-taking as much as it can to insults and the like, but I think you make a good point about sympathy addiction.

Welcome To TV Tropes | How To Write An Example | Text-Formatting Rules | List Of Shows That Need Summary | TV Tropes Forum | Know The Staff