God gives you supreme control of the Star Wars universe. Wat Do?

This is a good hypothetical scenario, and this is serious business enough to go here (canon wars are inherent from the size of the Expanded Universe).

Something hypothetically happens. You get control of the canon of Star Wars. That's right, God gets Lucas high or something else and he gives YOU full control of Lucasfilm, Lucas Arts, and EVERYTHING ELSE that is Star Wars related - giving you full canon.

Wat do?

I'm too lazy to go into detail, but i'll just say 'scrap the story of New Jedi O Rder, preserve the technology blurbs/info, planets & make the movies fit the older before prequel novels/games/etc (canon).

I'd be tempted to just redo Star Wars as an anime series, a 13 (or 26) episode series for each movie that starts noticeably BEFORE the movie & includes LOTS of Expanded Universe shit, including a better structure for the governments of the old republic/galactic empire/etcetc. I would consult the fans as they would make sure i do not fuck up the canon and enough fans are canonfanatics like me so there won't be problem :p

and other stuff, like the Empire keeps 1/3 of the galaxy after everything ends & more of the imp fleet is intact, etc.

or something wayy out there like a palpating relative becomes empress in a constitutional empire (yes that was a plan in the EU, the admiral who propsed it got assassinated by Noghri) :p

or P Alpatine signs a treaty w/the rebel alliance in Dark Empire like he said (okay that is STUPID and reeks of Legendof Galactic Heroes).

second hand, i'm following the canon just making it make more sense....and include the roleplayiong and comics as sources to keep this jumblefuck accurate.

EDIT: the first response reminded me, YOU CANT PROFIT OFF IT TO THE DETRIMENT OF THE UNIVERSE QUALITY. but he already said it so :p

edited 5th Jan '11 10:16:31 PM by BalloonFleet

I'm torn between gathering royalties on it, or turning around and instantly auctioning it off for an 8-9 digit dollar amount.

I'd keep the majority of New Jedi Order, but kill Legacy of the Force. I'm fine with Darker and Edgier, but when the hell did Jacen turn into a homicidal ass?

edited 5th Jan '11 10:24:10 PM by Pykrete

Is there some way I can destroy it? Or at least force all of its products out of print?

I'd hand creative control to someone with actual film-making skill. I'd ask them to do something that has nothing to do with any of the characters from either trilogy (or anything EU-related), and possibly not have Jedi/Sith/The Force in it either.

If/when a new film or two came out, I'd kindly but firmly tell the EU material makers, whomsoever they are, to fuck off from giving every single character a backstory. I might even go so far as to ban any EU work from appearing about these films.

I'd encourage a bunch of different (good) directors to try stuff; stuff that's not just generic space opera. Mockumentaries! Romance! Comedy! Horror! Allow flexible "reinterpreting" of the canon. Maybe the Force is actually magic?

Christmas specials!

...

-crickets-

...

...

-SHOT-

I think I'd announce that I'm going to give the entire universe a Continuity Reboot and post lots of online polls for the public to vote on what they want and don't want in the reboot.

More Rogue Squadron games.

edited 7th Jan '11 7:20:45 AM by Deboss

^ Yes. But not like Rebel Strike, and preferably without rehashing the same tired movie events again.

edited 7th Jan '11 10:47:17 AM by Pykrete

Yeah, other missions. And I want to fly a mother fucking K-wing.

SUN CRUSHER

Un-screw Star Wars Galaxies?

Declare parts of the EU non-canon. Some stuff can stay, like a lot of the Timothy Zahn stuff and the other well-written things, but yeah, some stuff can just go bye-bye. Find his original notes for EP 1,2, and 3 and re-do them with less reliance on CGI crap. Give the Force back the mystical properties and forget the whole Midichlorian thing. Heck, find his notes for what he wanted to do with EP 7, 8, and 9 and see about doing those movies, as well, and see if we can get some of the Timothy Zahn stuff made into movies or a TV show, just so we have lots of material available for a franchise. And, be very selective about who can write quality stuff without going into epic on-upmanship levels of absurdity. We can have a Star Wars story that isn't about epic plots and stuff, honest.

More focus on smugglers, dang it. Becasue smugglers kick the snot out of Jedi.

Oh, and hire on Mr. Plinkett as a consultant for the movie project.

The midichlorian thing needn't have even been so bad if they really needed a way to measure it. Just say they're attracted to Force-sensitives instead of causing it, and a high count ends up being a useful ballpark to show bureaucrats you're not screwing around when you say you need to train someone.

Of course, a simple "the Force is strong with this one" would have sufficed anyway

edited 7th Jan '11 2:10:28 PM by Pykrete

I like that idea, actually. So they're not caused by it, but they're a side-effect, sort of.

Would've also made a lot of interesting decoy ploys for New Jedi Order.

The midichlorians don't cause the Force, they just act as a mediator between living things and the still-mystical force. Yeah, it's just a cheap thing to show that Anakin is OVER 9000, but it's not as ridiculous as everyone says.

If I had control, I'd do the OT exactly the same but force Mark Hamill to do all his lines in his Joker voice just for the lulz.

If God, or Lucas, or Kyle Katarn give me that power, well ... I will cancel, delete, recton most of NJO Era stuff (especially NJO series), and things writen by Karen Travis (everything, for insulting fans) and K.J. Anderson (most of his work, but not comics). And for universe it self (just like I allready mentionet in other topic) I would demote humankind to minor role, promote many cool alien species to bigger role, retcon Republik, Empire and Rebel into some thing less human focuse. Even i would ban making to many humans as main characters. And more aliens, especially alien aliens, from really diffrent Humanoids Aliens to Starfish Aliens, also with some Cosmic Horror

If you thing about, basic idea for NJO was, only wasted with bad writing and lame invaders. Instead Yuzans (with diffrent name) should be most alien thing you can get, more alien that Zerg or Tyranist (but no need to be some hive swarm), and with many Cosmic Horror tropes. Also that plot would be not some decades after ep VI but some thousands years later (with Modern Stasis technology).

I do nothing. That or add lesbians.

The mandalorians were never a pacifist culture. NEVER!

SUN CRUSHERS THAT FIRE SUN CRUSHERS!!

I read this as "God gives you supreme control of the actual Star Wars universe". GLEE.

Focus on the comics and potential animations. Take the whole thing and make it go massively Darker and Edgier, at the very least until it's as dark as Mass Effect 2.

I'd have no qualms on splitting the whole thing into different continuities, to free different eras of past canon (much of it would be bad canon) Of course, the only Star Wars related thing I still can stand anymore are the Legacy Era comics, the tabletop RPG s, and some of the video games. So I might be somewhat biased.

In short: More Gray Jedi, more mercenaries and smugglers, more visible underworld, moar sex, drugs and realistic violence, and gritty and almost pulp storylines.

I'd also make a spin-off about a war between Mandalorians and Imperial Knights. It'd either fail spectacularly or make loads and loads of cash and improve in quality. But it would be fun indeed.

edited 24th Mar '11 1:00:37 PM by SavageHeathen

Firefly Crossover. and my own Story whre the Original Humans come to Earth and Colonize it.

Profit, and revamp prequel trilogy so that it doesn't suck.

Make it real.

You did say supreme control didn't you?

Put the Thrawn trilogy as a TV series. Follow it up with a Rogue Squadron/Ghost Squadron series.

Edit: AND A NEW X-WING/TIE FIGHTER GAME SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes. That deserved caps. Online play, the ability to play as individual fighters as well as control fleet tactics.

edited 24th Mar '11 1:17:46 PM by Karmakin