The New Touhou Character Alternate Interpretation Compendium!

I consider it CANCER, and there is no chance in any hell that I'd touch it. (hell, even just ONE anime would be more likely.) Any attempts to force that upon me will be death with by RIP AND TEAR.

This is so on-topic, I have to comment on how this is so on-topic guys it's just that on-topic

Other on-topic statements:

I see live people.

How 'bout them sports teams.

You see that episode of that thing.

No! I do not have your money.

Off topic statement:

Why does no one care about Alice's non-Shangai/Hourai dolls? There's some good humor somewhere there.

edited 30th May '11 3:16:02 PM by Horselesshorseman

You mean having stereotypically British/Dutch/etc. acting dolls? ... That could be awesome, though it's sounding strangely like Hetalia.

EDIT: Emotions got the better of me. Thanks for ninjaing me Faw, horselesshorseman. I'm just going to send that as a pm.

As for the dolls... Shanghai was Alice's best spellcard on Easy/Normal in IN. Hourai was her best on Hard/Lunatic. And giving her a "special doll" or two makes her seem more... Human? Youkai? Magician?... You see what I mean.

edited 30th May '11 3:30:15 PM by Pulse

You misunderstand me. I'm just saying it's more likely for me to watch an anime than watch that cancer.

The cancer? Impossible willingly.

Which is way I took out that post AND didn't even pm it. The post is as dead as a parrot in a British sketch show.

Tardisman, I think you're overreacting a wee bit.

Blasphemy

Many people wonder what their role in life should be; what God wants them to do with their lives. Its much different if God is a constant physical presence who you can talk to and who also happens to be a Goddess. Alice thought she knew what her role in life was and would be. She would be content with the skills and abilities God gave her and fill her role in Makain society. To attempt more would be hubris.

And then four beings from another place, two monsters and two humans, burned their way through Makai, challenged God and won.

Alice's life was suddenly flipped, turned upside down. If Gods could be defeated by mortals, did any of her previous aspirations have merit?

After Shinki was defeated, she uttered two Commandments from her tower at the center of Makai: No citizen of Makai was to seek revenge on the intruders and none were to attempt to leave Makai before it was sealed from Gensokyo.

Alice disobeyed both of these commands after first stealing a rare grimoire from Shinki's library. She attacked the intruders seeking to punish the ones who stole her certainty. And was beaten as easily as they beaten her God.

She had given up everything for her failed revenge. Makai had sealed behind her. And using the grimoire had increased her power far beyond the gifts that Shinki had given to her.

She made a home in Gensokyo, applied herself to study in order to earn power honestly, and sought revenge again. But the two monsters were nowhere to be seen and the two humans didn't even remember her. Revenge was ultimately pointless so she turned herself to equally fruitless but more socially acceptable endeavors. If mortals could defeat God, than she could mimic God. She would create life. She had already disobeyed God; what was one more blasphemy?

Note: According to the wiki, the ending for Mystic Square for Reimu's route, Makai doesn't get sealed and the Makai demons keep visiting the shrine. The game ends on a kind of "well, it will always be busy at the shrine" note.
This sounded much better in my head but some of it appears to have been lost in the Bocaj to English translation.
But imagine how it would affect a young, impressionable mind to see the center of your universe beaten up. It'd be kind of like if your dad got beaten up by a toddler.

edited 30th May '11 3:39:43 PM by Bocaj

Honestly, I'd laugh my ass off.

Anyways, that was a pretty good story you got there Bocaj.

Bocaj, I will finish reading that after posting this reply, but first, I must ask you:

A Fresh Prince Of Bel Air reference? Really?

It was either that or a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff reference.

You made a wise decision. I am so proud of you, dear son.

I have to ask.

What SBaHJ reference could possibly work in that context?

How did the victim die? Death by laughter

Well at least he died with good humors.

edited 30th May '11 4:12:50 PM by Horselesshorseman

Clearly good parenting is a factor.

"Flip it turnways."

edited 30th May '11 4:08:32 PM by Bocaj

Alice Margatroid ~ Alice in Wonderland

Once upon a time, there was a little girl that fell down a rabbit hole. This little girl was a sensible sort, even though everything in this world was so crazy, so much unlike her home. And even though she couldn't find her way back home, she decided that she'd make a little bit of home here in Wonderland. So she built herself a cottage, and somewhere along the way she decided that she needed to be a big girl, because little girls couldn't build cottages.

Once she had a bastion of sanity in the middle of the mad crazy Wonderland, she started making people. People that made sense. People that weren't the grinning Cheshire Cat or the frowning Queen of Hearts (off with your danmaku!) or the scary, scary Gryphon (it's all her fancy, you know, the bloody queen's fancy). But these people, the people that she made, didn't talk to her. That was okay, though, because the big girl could talk to them, and one day she'd figure out a way to make them walk and talk on their own. Just like her mother had done.

She's not mad. She's not. Everyone else is. She's not meant to be here, in Wonderland, and she's been here so long that she sounds crazy and walks crazy and loves crazy but she's not, she's still sane, because the little people keep her sane. Such lovely little people. Sometimes, she makes them blow up, and sometimes, she makes them dance. Sometimes, she puts them up on her shelf so they can watch over her and make sure she doesn't go crazy here. Because that would be the worst - going crazy, I mean.

The little girl isn't supposed to fall in love with the grin without a cat. That's not the way the story goes. She isn't supposed to play croquet with the Queen of Hearts and learn how the maze shifts and speak with the flower-children with such pretty wings. Well, maybe. Because Alice is supposed to find her way out of Wonderland in the end, but she can't, there's no way for her to go back home. What is Alice supposed to do if Mother never calls her back?

So she walks through Wonderland, and studies the things that keep her sane, and makes her wonderful little people, in the hope that maybe one day she'll make one that can walk and talk and call her "Momma", and then she won't be the only sane person in Wonderland. Until then, until then, she has tea with the Queen of Hearts, the red-white queen, and watches the Cheshire Cat at play with its own grin, and prays she isn't already crazy.

So. Um. I had a title and then I just had to write it.

...I don't actually think Alice is a psycho that talks to her dolls because she thinks they're alive. But she is lonely, and in a world not her own. Artistic liberties.

If Gensokyo is a world not her own, she probably feels like she's going crazy sometimes, anyway. Especially if it's hard to adjust to becoming a youkai.

I remember a fic I once read, in which Alice used her dolls to help her internalize her thoughts and make sensible plans. I think it was "Alice's Glorious Homestead Defense." Anyway, cool story bro.

Nice.

I wanted to do something like that back during the Alice discussion, but I couldn't figure out how to compare Lewis Carroll's famous work to Gensokyo.

You however pulled it off quite nicely. My hat's off to you. It is not frilly, but it will have to do.

edited 30th May '11 9:45:37 PM by Horselesshorseman

Time for a happy dance!

okay so

Raz

completely blew me out of the water

applause to you

Having gone back read through all of the writeups thus far... Why? Why can't I write as well as the rest of you? Everyone else is making either these fascinating day-in-the-life stories or ridiculously thoughtful examinations of the cast's psyches, and I'm writing things that seem like what a second grader writes when he thinks he's being deep.

Don't look at me. I'm with the umbrella.

A writeup is a writeup. No use being parsee about it, just keep writing.

Unless you are writing about Parsee, in which case be Parsee about it.

Being the character allows you to write yourself easier.