Fwomph
Throw something at the window.
It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.
Be green.
unlock it with sonic screw driver and jump out
edited 30th Nov '10 6:40:37 PM by queenofdarkness
I am bad at picking things.
You are already dead...
Make this your crowning moment of epicness and use your untapped skills to simply bash the window open with your head.
L-l-look at you, hacker. A p-p-pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you r-run through my corridors-s. H-h-how can you
For every name that's been erased...
Using a TRULY EPIC combination of the SONIC SCREWDRIVER and your OWN HEAD, you BURST through the WINDOW with a flourish and land safely on the GROUND.
You've exited the HOUSE! From now on, we'll refer to it as BOBO'S HOUSE.
You are now OUTSIDE BOBO'S HOUSE! There is a GARAGE directly BEHIND you. To your LEFT, there is a SIDEWALK that leads to the SUBWAY STATION.
INVENTORY RECAP!
- An EMPTY BEER BOTTLE
- A RESEALED PACK OF BEEF JERKY
- The TELEVISION REMOTE
- A copy of SCOTT PILGRIM VOLUME 6
- A TORN NOTE
- A MYSTERIOUS BUISNESS CARD
- A SONIC SCREWDRIVER *
In Riastrad
EXAMINE the GARAGE.
My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.
For every name that's been erased...
You EXAMINE the GARAGE. It appears to be CLOSED and LOCKED.
You wonder to yourself what TIME it is.
~Pirka
In Riastrad
Decide that it's too late to worry about the valuable goodies possibly in the GARAGE. HIGH-TAIL your FURRY ASS towards the SUBWAY.
My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.
You are already dead...
Plan to go get a sandwich over at the SUBWAY.
L-l-look at you, hacker. A p-p-pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you r-run through my corridors-s. H-h-how can you
For every name that's been erased...
You guys are the best players so far. Shh. Don't tell anyone.
You RUN to the SUBWAY STATION. Because I want to get to the ACTUAL PLOT, you don't need MONEY to get a SUBWAY TICKET. However, you CURSE PROFUSELY because you don't have MONEY for a SANDWICH. If CHILDREN can ride FREE, little red BASTARDS can, too!
You get on the TRAIN. Currently, there are only two STOPS you can get off on:
- BOBO'S HOUSE
- DESTINY STATION
edited 30th Nov '10 8:42:56 PM by Pirka
~Pirka
In Riastrad
EXIT at the DESTINY STATION. For BONUS EPICNESS, do a TRIPLE BACKFLIP on your way out. WONDER, CONFUSED, at why your INNER MONOLOGUE seems to involve a lot of CAPITAL LETTERS.
My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.
You are already dead...
Cling to the top of the subway and ride it out to the next McGuffin, LIKE A BOSS.
L-l-look at you, hacker. A p-p-pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you r-run through my corridors-s. H-h-how can you
For every name that's been erased...
You RIDE on top of the TRAIN LIKE A BAWSS and EXIT at DESTINY STATION. You REMEMBER that the CAPITAL LETTERS are supposedly meant to point out IMPORTANT THINGS, but are really just for COOLNESS. You then WONDER why you are ARGUING with your own INNER MONOLOGUE.
You are now on the corner of DESTINY&BLOOR. There is an ATM nearby, attached to a PAYPHONE. A CONVENIENTLY PLACED DIGITAL CLOCK DISPLAY reads NINE O' CLOCK. You are JUST IN TIME!
~Pirka
You are already dead...
Punch the clock and head to the bar.
L-l-look at you, hacker. A p-p-pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you r-run through my corridors-s. H-h-how can you
For every name that's been erased...
As satisfying as it would be to GET ABSOLUTELY PLASTERED, you do not have any MONEY. You consider STEALING some BEER, but ultimately decide to GET ON WITH IT.
SUDDENLY, the PAYPHONE begins RINGING...
~Pirka
You are already dead...
Answer the phone an posh voice while hijacking the ATM with the SONIC SCREW DRIVER for BEER money.
L-l-look at you, hacker. A p-p-pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you r-run through my corridors-s. H-h-how can you
For every name that's been erased...
You USE the SONIC SCREWDRIVER on the ATM. 30 DOLLARS in 5 DOLLAR BILLS showers over you!
You then decide to PICK UP the PHONE...
...the second your PAWS touch the PAYPHONE, you feel a SURGE OF ENERGY through your BODY. You BLACK OUT momentarily.
When you RETURN TO CONSCIOUSNESS, you are in a MYSTERIOUS WHILE HALLWAY. It appears FEATURELESS with the exception of a SMALL CONSOLE emblazoned with a FAMILIAR TRIANGLE.
Now, our true ADVENTURE has BEGUN!
~Pirka
In Riastrad
Check INVENTORY.
Also, EXAMINE the CONSOLE and the FAMILIAR TRIANGLE.
My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.
For every name that's been erased...
Your INVENTORY currently contains:
- An EMPTY BEER BOTTLE
- A RESEALED PACK OF BEEF JERKY
- The TELEVISION REMOTE
- A copy of SCOTT PILGRIM VOLUME 6
- A TORN NOTE
- A MYSTERIOUS BUISNESS CARD
- A SONIC SCREWDRIVER
- 5 DOLLAR BILL x6
You EXAMINE the CONSOLE. It is very SMOOTH and FEATURELESS, with one exception: it appears to have a SLOT in it, where an OBJECT could be INSERTED.
You EXAMINE the FAMILIAR TRIANGLE
◊. It is IDENTICAL to the one on the MYSTERIOUS BUISNESS CARD.
In Riastrad
Use the SONIC SCREWDRIVER to manipulate the CONSOLE, to extract INFORMATION or possibly PORN.
My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.
For every name that's been erased...
You USE the SONIC SCREWDRIVER on the CONSOLE. Unfortunately for your PORN-STARVED MIND, it seems to have NO EFFECT.
Whoever built this CONSOLE must be Crazy-Prepared.
~Pirka
In Riastrad
SCAMPER ADORABLY down the hall. If you encounter any hot women, PEEK up their SKIRTS.
My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.
For every name that's been erased...
It is scary how in-character you are for Bobo right now
The HALL seems to END at the CONSOLE, much to your SEXUAL FRUSTRATION. Perhaps an ITEM in your INVENTORY can be used on the CONSOLE...
~Pirka
In Riastrad
[spoiler] Seriously? 'Cause I have no freaking clue what the hell it even is. I guess I was just born to roleplay horny red treesquirrels. EDIT: Shit, I can't do spoilers. [/spoiler]
Attempt to insert the BUSINESS CARD into the CONSOLE and cross your fingers hoping there's PORN, hopefully involving GINGER CHICKS.
edited 30th Nov '10 10:35:56 PM by Diamonnes
My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.
For every name that's been erased...
Believe it or not, he's based on a stuffed animal I own. Said stuffed animal is a Memetic Molester, general pervert, and possibly an alcoholic. Being a Troper, though, are you really surprised? YAY 100th POST
As you INSERT the MYSTERIOUS BUISNESS CARD into the CONSOLE, it is ABSORBED by the CONSOLE. The FAMILAR TRIANGLE begins to GLOW.
Before you have any IDEA what is HAPPENING, you FLOAT off the GROUND, enveloped by LIGHT.
A ROBOTIC VOICE speaks out.
Welcome to the G-DEVICE. Your entry card has been deemed valid. Where do you wish to go?
You are CONFUSED and DISAPPOINTED at the lack of PORN.
A HOLOGRAPHIC MAP appears BEFORE YOU. It has what appears to be a LIST of LOCATIONS.
- DOWNTOWN
- MASTER UNIVERSE
- TIME COURT
- NAMELESS CITY
- EVERSION WORLD
- FINAL BOSS
edited 30th Nov '10 10:50:43 PM by Pirka
~Pirka
There is no immediate EXIT to the ROOM. There is a WINDOW, but it is CLOSED and LOCKED.
hint: oh, come on, this one is obvious
~Pirka