[[caption-width-right:250:But that's just how things are.]]
-> '''Jon:''' So, uh, what are you guys up to these days? \\
'''Diablo:''' Oh, we're just trying to save the universe.\\
'''Fish:''' From [[http://www.goats.com/archive/070315.html doom!]]

A web comic by Jon Rosenberg. It started in April, 1997, stopped updating at the end of April 2010 when the author hit financial troubles, was abandoned for a while, and then was resurrected on March the 17th 2017, with Rosenberg apologising for the lack of comics for the last 7 years, and promising to keep updating once every two weeks from then onwards. It started out as MundaneFantastic, but with the Infinite Typewriters arc branched out into a [[TheMultiverse multiversal]] WorldOfWeirdness. It features a diverse cast of characters having wacky, dimension-hopping, SpeculativeFiction adventures. The main characters include:

* '''Jon''' the AuthorAvatar, probable WeirdnessMagnet.
* '''Phillip''' a programmer who may be TheChosenOne.
* '''Toothgnip''' formerly one of Thor's chariot-pulling goats.
* '''Diablo''' a {{Satan}} worshiping chicken who can reattach his body parts.
* '''Oliver''' Diablo's foul-mouthed, AxCrazy son.
* '''Fish''' a rather sweet-natured, naïve goldfish who lives in beer.
* '''Fineas''' Fish's badass, cybernetic alter ego, who eventually got his own body.
* '''Bob''' and '''Neil''' a pair of [[TheGrays aliens]] with a FlyingSaucer.
* '''Farmella''' a DefectorFromDecadence who has the Knack for dimension-hopping along the Pub Axis.
* '''One Death''' a god of the Mayan underworld who runs a software company.
* [[LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters and many others...]]

The KudzuPlot is approaching AlienGeometries territory, but here's the basics:

Jon and Phillip tricked God into turning himself into a pork chop, and ate him. Normally, this would have spelled doom for TheMultiverse. Fortunately, Woody Allen hired a Mayan programming firm, headed by One Death, to write a program on his laptop to keep the Multiverse going. Unfortunately, the program has a bug that will cause it to crash when the Mayan Calendar rolls over on December 21, 2012, leading to [[TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt the end of the multiverse as we know it.]] The race is on to locate [[TheChosenOne The Programmer]] (who might be Phillip) prophesied to repair the program. Of course, the ones who control The Programmer will control the multiverse, so wacky interdimensional hijinks are ensuing.

Another major plot element is the three-way feud between Fineas, Toothgnip, and Oliver.

The webcomic can be found [[http://www.goats.com/ here;]] the first strip is [[http://www.goats.com/index.php?id=1 here.]]

!!This webcomic contains examples of:

* BigEater -- The Doughboys can devour creatures many times their own size.
* [[BSideComics B Side Comic]] -- [[http://www.goats.com/archive/080102.html megaGAMERZ 3133t]], a [[DadaComics Dada Comic]] [[FictionalDocument written by Diablo]].
* ButchLesbian: Cornhusk is a butch lesbian scientist who happens to be a giant talking ''corn on the cob''
* CarnivoreConfusion -- Totally avoided. People eat food made of animals. {{TalkingAnimal}}s eat food made out of [[HumanResources people]]. The PlantAliens seem to be omnivores, too. Everybody's happy.
* ChewbaccaDefense -- When Jon was accused of baking Mrs. Truman's first-grade class into cookies, he got off because the cookies were [[http://www.goats.com/archive/971005.html delicious.]]
* ContinuityReboot: Invoked in-story [[http://goats.com/index.php?id=726 here]], when a couple of the monkeys get hold of the requisite typewriter and contemplate resolving all the problems they have with other characters.
* TheCouch -- Many early strips feature the characters sitting on TheCouch watching TV.
* DeusExMachina -- The Doughboys, a DeusExMachina that comes in a handy pocket size. Note that this an in-universe DeusExMachina, as the monkeys wrote them into existence to help Phillip.
* EndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt -- Or at least the Multiverse if the program on Woody Allen's laptop isn't fixed before the Mayan Calendar rolls over in 2012.
* EverythingsBetterWithMonkeys: Infinite Monkeys
* FlyingSaucer -- Neil and Bob's CoolShip.
* FourthWallMailSlot
* {{God}} -- Jon and Phillip tricked him into turning into a pork chop, and then ate him.
* GoodThingYouCanHeal -- Diablo, whose main problem with getting dismembered is tracking down his various body parts afterwards.
* TheGrays -- Neil and Bob
* GuestStrip
* IncrediblyLamePun -- Fineas.
* InnBetweenTheWorlds -- The Pub Stub.
* ItRunsOnNonsensoleum -- The engine of Bob and Neil's UFO allegedly runs off the happiness produced by teleporting kittens to good homes. No one knows where the Pop-Tarts come from.
** BrickJoke -- years later, when most of the inhabitants of the Earth are in suspended animation due to lack of Writers, the Math Führer has developed a Theory of Everything which proves "zat kittens is mathematically interchangeable vith ze brechfasst pastry!"
* LetsMeetTheMeat -- The Doughboys don't talk but appear to be sentient, and don't seem to mind being eaten. Also, Thor's goats, as in the original Norse myths.
* LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters
* LosingYourHead -- An recurring problem for Diablo. TheMerch includes a Diablo action figure with a detachable head.
* MadeFromRealGirlScouts -- Actually, that's too cliched -- Diablo used Mrs. Truman's first-grade class [[http://www.goats.com/archive/970924.html instead.]] This is not the only case of HumanResources being used for [[Film/SoylentGreen cooking.]] Given that the humans eat meat and some of the main characters are {{TalkingAnimal}}s (food animals, at that), this seems fair.
* MillenniumBug -- In the Mayan calendar.
* MobileSuitHuman -- More literally than usual -- Oliver rides around on the headless, cyborged corpse of a motorcycle gang leader. A [[SubvertedTrope subversion]], as it's not really designed to blend in.
* MonkeysOnATypewriter -- The basis for the "Infinite Monkeys" arc.
* TheMultiverse -- the home dimension of most of the main characters is known as Manhattan 3. Others are Xibalba, Topeka Prime, Middle Pangaea, and the Infinite Monkey dimension.
* MundaneFantastic -- The comic started here and branched out with the Infinite Typewriters arc.
* NailedToTheWagon -- Phillip in the multiverse.
* NiceJobBreakingItHero -- and by "it" we mean the entire multiverse.
* OrphanedSeries -- ''And how.''
* PhysicalGod -- {{God}} until he got eaten. Also, Thor.
* PlantAliens -- Hooray for diversity!
* TheRant
* RealLifeWritesThePlot -- sometimes [[http://www.goats.com/archive/970416.html amusingly.]]
* RunningGag -- Diablo [[LosingYourHead losing his head]], Jon's bad luck with women
* {{Satan}} -- [[http://www.goats.com/archive/050516.html got red skin and 100% less plaid shirts.]] Or does he?
* ShoutOut
* StupidJetpackHitler -- There is an [[ShowWithinAShow in-universe series of movies]] featuring [[RefugeInAudacity Good Hitler]] as a TuxedoAndMartini secret agent.
* TakeThat -- Microsoft
* TalkingAnimal -- Toothgnip, Diablo, Oliver, Fish, Fineas
* UnusuallyUninterestingSight -- "I am '''Thor,''' god of thunder!" [[http://www.goats.com/archive/970403.html "He's blocking the TV."]]
* WeirdnessCensor -- People in Manhattan-3 seem not to notice quite how weird Jon and Phillip's friends are. [[http://www.goats.com/archive/971015.html Come take a gander at this funny short chap.]]