''[[http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com Fontes' Rants]]'' is a webcomic which primarily illustrates things the author ([[CaptainObvious Fontes]]) finds strange, funny, stupid, or downright infuriating in popular works of anime, comic books and video games, and even things he finds on Website/DeviantArt. It also has cheap laughs from time to time.

Recurring original characters include [[AuthorAvatar Fontes himself]], an unnamed FanGirl, [[TeamPet Tanooki the raccoon]], Fontes' friend Steven Worker, and Takeshi, Fontes' "son" by the [[Manga/DeathNote Life Note]].

Currently [[ScheduleSlip hasn't updated in over a year]].

!!This work provides examples of:

* AscendedExtra: Luigi knocked out the Playstation Network with a Manga/DeathNote, gave Sony the idea for a rear touchpad, and kicked Franchise/{{Batman}} off a building.
* AssShove: Ever wonder [[http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1395917/booting-up-the-booty/ how TMs work]] in Franchise/{{Pokemon}}?
* AuthorAvatar: Fontes appears in the comic with characters such as [[Franchise/KingdomHearts Sora]], Franchise/{{Naruto}}, and ComicBook/{{Wolverine}}.
* BadassNormal: Who climbs faster?
-->'''{{Spiderman}}''': 'Tha hell? Did ya took the elevator, or something?!\\
'''[[Franchise/AssassinsCreed Ezio]]''': Silenzio, ragno! You now owe me fifty dollars.
* BreakingTheFourthWall: Occasionally, but one comic was just Fontes looking at the reader, pointing down, saying "keep scrolling down". Turns out, he actually puts a [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin rant]] under most of the comics, and apparently not many noticed.
* CombatPragmatist: In one of Fontes' many ''Franchise/FinalFantasy'' parodies. On the left, a BlackMage. On the right, a WhiteMage and a Fighter. The black mage starts to cast [[KillItWithFire Firaga]], when the white mage unloads a shotgun into his face.
-->'''Fighter''': Ehm... dude, it was his turn.\\
'''[[TheReveal Fontes]]''': I don't [[PrecisionFStrike fuckin']] care!!!
** Also, using the [[SuperStrength golden gauntlets]] to throw a one ton obelisk at [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime Ganondorf's]] head.
* ConcealmentEqualsCover: {{Subverted}}; Fontes avoids Takeshi's gunfire by hiding behind a chair, then notes that Takeshi's guns only shoot "heavily compressed air".
* CoolVsAwesome: [[VideoGame/FZero Captain Falcon]] and Creator/ChuckNorris as Franchise/{{Pokemon}} trainers.
-->Hitmonchan uses "Falcon Punch"!\\
Hitmonlee uses "Roundhouse Kick"!
* DidntThinkThisThrough: Fontes decided to use the [[Manga/DeathNote Life Note]] to create an AxCrazy MartyStu character. One broken nose and bout of unconsciousness later;
-->'''Fontes''': ...I really shouldn't have made him able to summon firearms...
* DisproportionateRetribution: Fontes used the Life Note to create [[Anime/{{Pokemon}} Ash Ketchum]] to catch Takeshi, but also used it to make Ash's blood turn to acid afterwards for a slow, agonizing death.
-->'''Fontes:''' ...I really hate him for leaving Charizard behind!
* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything:
-->'''[[VideoGame/SuperMarioGalaxy Luma]]''': Oh, yeah, gimme those starbits! I can't hold it any longer!!!
* FanGirl: No name given (yet), she was in the very first strip obsessing over Manga/{{Inuyasha}}.
* GoodOldFisticuffs: Fontes [[http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1440114/the-right-weapon-for-the-job/ plays]] [[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim Skyrim]].
* HighlyVisibleNinja:
-->'''Mook''': Stop at once!\\
'''Franchise/{{Naruto}}''': Hell no! [[VerbalTic Bahleeeve it]]!\\
'''[[Franchise/MetalGear Nearby "Box"]]''': *sigh* ...Rookies...
* HypocriticalHumor:
-->'''[[VideoGame/GuiltyGear Bridget]]''': You look like a queer, ya know?
* ImAHumanitarian: Skyrim [[http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1452619/tastes-like-chicken/ again]].
* ImprobableWeaponUser:
-->'''[[Franchise/KingdomHearts Sora]]''': What?! What's so funny?!\\
'''Fontes''': Just look at that thing!!!\\
'''Sora''': ...? ...Aww, [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] you, [[Creator/SquareEnix Square]]!!!
* {{Lampshading}}: Probably the main theme of the comic, actually.
* MundaneUtility: "[[http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1297871/colgate-who-needs-that/ Dai Gurren Dental Care]]". Yes.
* PowerGlows, but may not be safe to [[http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1330068/the-dark-side-of-the-shins-part-ii/ use as a flashlight.]]
* ThePowerOfCreation: The Life Note grants this to whoever uses it.
* ScheduleSlip: Last updated 12th May, 2012.
* StylisticSuck: How do you make fun of a [[UsefulNotes/WiiU gaming console with a stupid name]]? With an [[http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1216388/dumbest-strip-ever/ equally stupid comic strip.]]
* TeamPet: Tanooki.