[[caption-width-right:350: [- “Squallor” is the contracted form of “squallore,” Italian for “squalor.” [[ThisIsGonnaSuck You get the picture]]. -] ]]

'''Yotobi''', Karim Musa’s alias, is an [[{{UsefulNotes/Italy}} Italian]] internet reviewer, and he’s pretty much ''the'' go–to online CausticCritic when it comes to this kind of VideoReviewShow among the Italian audience.

His style is, more or less, the one popularized with ''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic'' and ''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd'', as he reviews both [[{{Horrible/VideoGames}} sucky video games]] and (especially) [[{{Horrible/Film}} just as sucky movies.]] However, his style [[GrowingTheBeard evolved soon enough into something more unique]], which is most likely helped by the “Universal Squallor” logo pictured above standing for an actual studio. Said studio was never actually meant to be ''entirely'' about reviews in the first place. [[WordOfGod Yotobi himself said so.]]

However, we were talking about the stuff he reviews. Yep, sucky stuff. How sucky, you ask? Well, so far he has reviewed ''VideoGame/BigRigsOverTheRoadRacing'', [[VideoGame/ETTheExtraTerrestrial the infamous]] ''[[VideoGame/ETTheExtraTerrestrial E.T.]]'' [[VideoGame/ETTheExtraTerrestrial video game]], ''[[Creator/SeltzerAndFriedberg Epic Movie]]'' '''and''' ''[[Creator/SeltzerAndFriedberg Disaster Movie]]'', ''{{Film/Birdemic}}'', ''Film/MegaSharkVsGiantOctopus'', ''Film/ManosTheHandsOfFate''… the list goes on. [[SnarkBait You can pretty much guess where this is going.]]

His channel is [[http://www.youtube.com/user/yotobi right here]]. Subtitled versions of some of his videos can be found [[https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaV_tzXgckSsxG6mVtygRFLu9KrQnohqg here]].

%% Yotobi’s style is very similar (although simpler and more based on snark rather than special effects) to The Nostalgia Critic’s, but due to a small feudish Administrivia/EditWar (resolved peacefully as well as quickly) occurred in the same day this article was created, the Channel Awesome references are confined to the opening paragraph only. Make sure it stays that way, no matter how tempted you are, or (especially) on which side of the Italian NC/Yotobi FandomRivalry you’re on. %%
!! This WebOriginal series contains examples of:

* BerserkButton: This guy ''loathes'' everything ever made by TheAsylum. Imagine how much he loved doing a review comprised entirely of Asylum movies.
* BrickJoke[=/=]TemptingFate: One of his RunningGags is pretending to have a stroke after watching “trash scenes.” In his review of ''Film/RikiOhTheStoryOfRicky'', it really happens.
* CanisLatinicus: ''“Ad Minchiam”'' [[note]]''Minchia'' is Sicilian slang for penis, though it’s used here in an expression that means “totally random with no sense whatsoever.”[[/note]]
* CausticCritic: Despite having the same knowledge as other online reviewers about tropes and how they work (and how cinema in general works), he’s kind of more nitpicky about it. However, there are quite a few movie reviews he has enjoyed.
* CharacterDevelopment: Compare his review of ''Troppo Belli'' with his more recent ''[=AlbaKiara=]'' review: While he equally and absolutely loathed both, in the latter he was much more able to keep his cool and looked more offended and bored rather than downright [[GoMadFromTheRevelation freaked out]].
* [[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon Cut His Off Face With A Pencil]]: What Doodle threatens to do to Yotobi if he ever thinks about calling him for another review.
* DarkerAndEdgier: ''[=AlbaKiara=]''. Mostly because he ''really'' hated that one.
* DeadpanSnarker: A staple for any CausticCritic, Yotobi’s pretty damn good at snarking.
* TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou: He ends his review of the ''E.T.'' video game ([[UsefulNotes/TheGreatVideoGameCrashOf1983 you know the one]]) so pissed at [[AWinnerIsYou its ending]] (or [[NoEnding lack thereof]]), he punches the screen [[CameraAbuse so hard he crashes it]].
* GagCensor: Two for ''[=AlbaKiara=]'': An audio one where he replaces copyrighted songs with kids’ songs and a traditional one covering nude scenes with [[CrossesTheLineTwice dogs grooming themselves]].
* GilliganCut: As a CutawayGag when first describing ''[[Series/SpiderManJapan Supaidāman]]''.
--> ''“Watching it was a bit like kissing for the first time, or making love for the first time, or going on Chatroulette for the first time.'' (cut to him in a dark room, in front of his webcam) ''Is that a penis?!”''
** Also used later in the same review in order to sum up the MindScrew present in the PilotEpisode alone.
--> '''Yotobi:''' ''“How many random things have happened so far? An AlienInvasion, a crashing spaceship, a dinosaur monster, a cave with a weirdo, a lifesaving spider bracelet…”''
--> (cut to a famous–in–Italy old–school [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milka Milka]] commercial)
--> '''Shop customer:''' ''“…and then there was the marmot wrapping the chocolate!”''
* SugarWiki/GushingAboutShowsYouLike: [[InvokedTrope Invoked]] by Yotobi, who, despite [[DeadpanSnarker snarking]] a lot throughout the review, made it pretty clear that he absolutely ''loves'' ''[[Series/SpiderManJapan Supaidāman]]''.
--> ''“In 1978, a live–action ''SpiderMan'' series [[AudienceAlienatingPremise set in Japan]] called “[[Series/SpiderManJapan Supaidāman]]” was made. Created by [[Creator/ToeiCompany Toei]], it comprises 41 episodes and a [[TheMovie movie]]. We’ll be watching [[{{Pilot}} the very first episode]] together. And believe me when I say that all my expectations for this show were demolished. In a good way, of course.”''
** After the abovementioned GilliganCut was used to sum up ''[[Series/SpiderManJapan Supaidāman]]''’s PilotEpisode’s MindScrew, he remarks: “And you know what? I like it! I was sick of hearing the same old Spider–Man story for the fortieth time! I’d had it! [[DeathByOriginStory Even Uncle Ben got pissed from dying for the umpteenth time.]]”
*** The best moment of gushing, though, is at the end of the same review. He raises his FascinatingEyebrow in a puzzled expression at the sight of Spidey’s HumongousMecha, and then…
--> ''“That’s a [[PowerRangers Megazord!]] '''That’s a Megazord!''' [[LargeHam Can’t — contain —]] '''[[ChewingTheScenery the awesomeness!]]''' ''(cut to a montage of that scene, [[RunningGag with the infamous Japanese Tanuki commercial thrown in the mix]])'' Superheroes with super problems, nothing! The answer is a [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] Megazord! Everything would be better with a Megazord! Everything! Except for ''Series/GreysAnatomy'', but everything else!”''
* MST3KMantra: [[InvokedTrope Invoked]] by Yotobi in the aforementioned crossover review of a borderline–homemade ''SpiderMan'' film.
--> '''iltizioqualunque:''' ''“I know I’m nitpicking, but how the hell does Spidey web–sling in the middle of the Missouri desert? [[FridgeLogic All the way from the city, what did he stick his webs to?]]”''
--> '''Yotobi:''' ''“Sorry, but how do you respond to people asking, [[ClarkKenting ‘How does Superman manage to not be recognized just by wearing glasses’]]?”''
--> '''iltizioqualunque:''' ''“‘Don’t ask questions?’”''
--> '''Yotobi:''' ''“Exactly. It’s the same thing here.”''
* NiceGuy: As [[DeadpanSnarker snarky]] and [[CausticCritic nitpicky]] as he is, Yotobi qualifies. To clarify, as stated below, Yotobi’s speech patterns are SophisticatedAsHell at worst. Usually, he swears at least once in each review, but rarely more than three, four, or five times. This is also because he tends to be very polite — and [[BrutalHonesty brutally honest]] at the same time — in reviews, which is mirrored in his review of the Italian movie ''Amore 14'' (“Love 14”). This movie is, simply put, a TeenDrama depicting a 14—years—old girl’s first experiences with love — and sex. He’s shocked at the mere concept of the movie. It gets worse when the movie shows the female lead starting to think about sex, looking for a PornStash, comparing, er, “sizes” on paper, and by the end of the review — where these kinds of “discoveries” reach their logical conclusion[[note]](not actual intercourse, mind you)[[/note]], Yotobi is ''utterly horrified''. He couldn’t even be explicit about the subjects he mentioned in the captions because he personally felt dirty doing so. [[TheWoobie When someone is that freaked out, you can’t help but feel a bit sorry for the guy.]]
%% This edit was originally meant to include said “logical conclusion,” but ultimately didn’t due to the content policy of the site. %%
** His first 2013 review, ''[=AlbaKiara=]''[[note]]Named after “Albachiara” (“Bright Dawn”), a song by Italian singer Vasco Rossi; the movie’s soundtrack only features songs from him[[/note]], is about a movie that truly [[UpToEleven raises the stakes]] about teenage sluttiness. [[BewareTheNiceOnes So do Yotobi’s reactions to it.]]
* NewPowersAsThePlotDemands: He mocks ''PumaMan'' for this.
* PrecisionFStrike: Yotobi isn’t afraid to swear. Just don’t expect him to do it often.
* RantInducingSlight: ''Troppo Belli'', aside from being a flat, uninteresting movie, generates one because it has, as lead “actors,” two guys with no acting training whatsoever who were chosen only based on their looks.
--> '''''This''' is why Italy is falling apart!''
* RepeatCut: Used as a parody of ''[[Series/SpiderManJapan Supaidāman]]''’s own repeated cuts.
--> (after some RepeatCut footage) '''Yotobi:''' *RepeatCut of his puzzled face* ''“This stuff is ''sick''.”''
* RelaxOVision: Used in the review for Japanese ''[[Series/SpiderManJapan Spider—Man]]'' due to his arachnophobia, and again in the teenage—sluttiness—related ''[=AlbaKiara=]'' movie. In the former, all [[GrossUpCloseUp close–ups on spiders]] are replaced with [[EverythingsCuterWithKittens cute kittens]]; in the latter, sex scenes are replaced with [[FanDisservice dogs licking their nuts]] (it’s pretty much PlayedForLaughs).
* RunningGag: Some reviews have their own running gags.
* SelfDeprecation: At the beginning of his ''Mega Piranha'' review.
--> ''“I’ve been making videos for two years, and this is the first time I noticed that [[CatchPhrase 'Welcome to a new review']] has no meaning whatsoever.”''
* ShownTheirWork: Aside from Yotobi’s own knowledge of how cinema works, there’s his partner in the crossover review of an obscure ''SpiderMan'' LiveActionAdaptation made in [[TheSixties 1969]]. Said partner, another Italian internet reviewer (known as ''iltizioqualunque''; “il tizio qualunque” means, more or less, “the everyman”), has an ''astonishing'' knowledge of the Spidey mythos.
* SoundtrackDissonance: In his ''Film/PumaMan'' review, he remarks that the score is more appropriate for a soy product [[ActingForTwo and he]] [[TalkingToHimself demonstrates it]].
* SpitTake: [[InvokedTrope Invoked]] in his ''Film/{{Birdemic}}'' review, when addressing the movie’s SpecialEffectsFailure.
--> ''“Okay, so we’ve come to one of the movie’s most crucial scenes. Do you think this was done with CGI, or with puppets? If your answer was “puppets” — [[DeadpanSnarker you wish!]] I wish those were puppets myself, I'd have settled with puppets like ''L’albero azzurro[[note]]“The Blue Tree,” a children’s show; think of ''Series/BarneyTheDinosaur''.[[/note]]''’s Dodo. Seriously, he would have been enough. But in my entire life, I have never seen [[SpecialEffectsFailure sucky CGI effects]]… ''this'' sucky. It's impossible to describe, and if I show the scene in question, I swear, no comment will be needed at all. So, three… two… no, no, I need one thing first… hang on, I’ll be back in a moment… ''(comes back with a glass of water)'' Here I am. With a glass of water. If you have water on hand, please take a glass of it, as we need to do that one thing with the glass of water when there’s something unexpected. Three, two, one… ''(footage of the SpecialEffectsFailure ensues)'' *pffffffffffffffffft* ''(bursts out in a hysterical fit of laughter)'' Oh God, I’m having a stroke.”''
** SpecialEffectsFailure: [[InvokedTrope Invoked]] as well [[spoiler: at the end of the review, [[HypocriticalHumor where Yotobi himself has to fight the superimposed eagles off]].]]
*** At the end of his ''Film/PumaMan'' review [[spoiler: he reenacts Tony’s ridiculous flight scene]].
* StunnedSilence: In [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkWmO7qYOy0#t=7m35s this]] moment of his ''VideoGame/DarkSouls'' LP.
--> Ah, it’s a crocodile! (''[[VaginaDentata Gaping Dragon]] emerges)'' ..........FUCK!
* TakeThat: Often enough. His ''VideoGame/BigRigsOverTheRoadRacing'' review opens with one.
--> ''“How many game genres do you think exist? There are basically three: ''(''VideoGame/HalfLife2'' cover art)'' the good ones, ''(''VideoGame/CharliesAngels''[='=] LicensedGame’s cover art)'' the bad ones, ''(''VideoGame/{{Nintendogs}}'' cover art)'' and the useless ones.”''
** When describing ''Film/DragonballEvolution'', the movie’s atmosphere (a mixture of sci–fi elements, TeenDrama, and action) is immediately addressed by Yotobi's girlfriend with:
--> ''“The movie, contrary to the manga, feels like a new ''Series/{{Smallville}}'' episode. Just watch! ''(cut to a quick montage of scenes from the movie set to the ''Smallville'' opening theme song)''”''
** In ''The Sisterhood'', the main character’s telekinesis is used… to apparently glow in a column of light and glitter. Cue a jab at MyLittlePony and [[{{Literature/Twilight}} Edward Cullen]].
** He calls out Titanic 2 on how they expected a cabinet to hold off against a Godzilla–sized tsunami. Cue [[Film/IndianaJonesAndTheKingdomOfTheCrystalSkull Indiana Jones reference]].
** While reviewing WesternAnimation/TheLittlePandaFighter, he calls it a blatant copy of ''WesternAnimation/KungFuPanda''… and shows the cover for [[VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft Mists of Pandaria]].
** In his review of ''Film/PumaMan'' he first likens Tony’s [[CannotSpitItOut inability to talk with anyone else]] to ''{{Series/Lost}}'', then, after the umpteenth time he does this, he blurts out that 'this is ''not'' like ''{{Series/Lost}}'', this '''is''' ''{{Series/Lost}}''!' Cue [[TalkingToHimself a reenactment of a scene from said TV show]].
* ThatCameOutWrong: In the abovementioned crossover review, we have this exchange.
--> '''Yotobi:''' ''“We see a robber entering an office in order to kidnap a girl, Dr. Lightning’s daughter.”''
--> '''iltizioqualunque:''' ''“On a side note, [[DominoMask that mask]] is just awesome. We like it very much.”''
--> '''Yotobi:''' ''“You can find it in online catalogs, filed under 'amateur porn'.”'''
--> '''iltizioqualunque:''' ''“And how do ''you'' know that?”''
--> '''Yotobi:''' ''[[ChangingTheUncomfortableSubject “Moving on.”]]''
* ThisIsGonnaSuck: As is the case for any [[LargeHam hammy]] online reviewer who [[MundaneMadeAwesome makes a big deal]] out of a movie’s [[AccentuateTheNegative flaw]], Yotobi’s reviews can be told apart from each other by their openings. One review in particular, the one for the Italian movie ''Troppo Belli'' (“Too handsome”), opens with him ''sobbing in a corner'', a treatment he didn’t reserve even for the Creator/SeltzerAndFriedberg movies he reviewed. Yeah, you've read that right. [[UpToEleven There are movies that are even worse.]] The movie’s infamy is common knowledge in Italy, to the point that when Yotobi begs [[TheCameo other Italian internet reviewers]], they [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere don’t even want to have anything to do with it.]]
--> ''“If you wanted to review ''Troppo Belli'', '''that’s your business.'''”''
** That was [[UpToEleven topped]] by ''[=AlbaKiara=]'', which begins with him [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown apologizing]] to a Mario doll.
** Happens often in his VideoGame/DarkSouls Let’s Play.
* WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes: As of the ''[[Series/SpiderManJapan Supaidāman]]'' review, Yotobi appears to be arachnophobic. When the PilotEpisode has a GrossUpCloseUp of a spider, he’s not amused.
--> ''“While Peter[[note]]although “Peter” actually has another name here, justifed due to him being, well, Japanese[[/note]] is riding his bike with his little brother, he finally sees the SPIIII--UUUUUUUUGGGH--''[[{{Squick}} yuck!]]'' Way, way, ''way'' too close to the camera! I’m '''arachnophobic!!''' Are you trying to kill me? ''[[TemptingFate (cue the spider’s reflection in “Peter”’s eye)]]'' Argh... not again!”''
** EverythingsCuterWithKittens: [[NightmareRetardant What he does immediately afterwards.]]
--> ''“Well, I have no choice but to swap every shot of the spiders with superimposed cute kittens. ''[[CrowningMomentOfFunny (cut to the edited scene)]]'' Muuuuuch better.”''