WMG: Toss The Turtle
That turtle is Too Kinky to TortureFeel a bit guilty about all those horrible things you're doing to that poor turtle? Don't worry about it! The turtle likely signed up for this game himself to begin with, because he likes being thrown out of a cannon, shot at, bounced off various objects, etc. Yes, he may look horrified while being thrown through the air, and during the loading screen, but at the end of the toss (assuming he doesn't land on spikes or get abducted by aliens) he looks more exhausted than in pain.
- The Kongregate badge for three million feet in a single launch has the description "You know, he secretly loves it."