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Guu is omnipotent
Given the extent of her powers, it's not too much of a stretch.

Guu is some sort of Eldritch Abomination
Okay, this is all but canon, but someone might as well say it. For example...

Guu is really one of the forms of Nyarlatothep, the Eldritch Abomination.
For some reason, "she" is being punished by the Outer Gods by having to put up with humanity and improve the life of one little boy (maybe due to Dawn Summers). Guu is going to have a few laughs while going about it, though. Not only has she shown immense and strange powers, but her past is referred to as having been "configured".
  • Narly actually took this as a dare. Someone asked him "Okay, if you're so smart and powerful, can you actually improve a human's life by their own standards?" trying to use the old Free Will Logic Bomb. Now it can say "Yes, I did it once. I'm very aware of what I'm choosing to do to you."

Guu is an earlier attempt to create an Integrated Data Entity Agent.
The ability to rewrite matter and energy? Yep. Vague hints at another existence too alien for humans to comprehend? Oh yes. We even see both Agent personality templates in Guu; the Stepford Smiler and the Emotionless Girl. Granted, Guu herself is too alien and sarcastic to expose to Haruhi. :shudders at the thought:
  • Or maybe she's an exceptionally eccentric incarnation of Haruhi...

Guu is the 3rd Angel in the Rebuild timeline.
Angels can take human form, for example Kaworu. Angels exist to bring about the end of humanity. Guu has the power to end humanity at her fingertips, or more appropriately in her stomach. Use your brain.
  • Alternately, Guu is the herald of the Spiral Nemesis.
  • Jossed, as Guu can't "end" humanity, anything she swallows remains alive.
    • You're assuming that this isn't the case because she happens to like it that way, for the moment.

Guu's stomach somehow taps into the same universe as Wackyland in the old Looney Tunes short Porky's Adventures in Wackyland, and we simply never see the characters from that short!

The whole universe is living inside Guu's stomach and the Guu we know is only a slightly more human duplicate of herself that she swallowed too because she got bored of being the only thing in actual existence.

Guu is somehow related to Mandy
  • I mean come on! Same size, same noseless face, same stoic attitude, same ability to make a bitch out of even the most powerful people; not to mention her eyebrows looks like an "M" if you bridge the gap between them.

Guu CAUSED Dr. Clive to come work in the village.
The odds of probability are a funny thing. A VERY funny thing: two people who live in a town the size of Salem (Massachusits or Oregon) may meet only once while at a restaurant and may never see each other again, even if they lived in the same town their whole lives. Considering that Weda moved to an undisclosed location in a jungle where the distance between it and Weda's home town is never specified, one finds it quite a coincidence that Dr. Clive JUST so happens to move there only when his son JUST so happens to start asking about him. Besides, whatever work he had in the city was pretty steady for the past ten years for him to work in the Weda household, so I assume Clive made bank before moving to the village. So why is he working as a school nurse? My guess is Guu either:A. Peered into Weda's subconscious using some sort of Guu logic, found out about Dr Clive.Or:B. Used DNA testing from some of Hale's DNA to find out about Clive. After all, she has plenty of access to it.She then managed to, in one night, F*ck up Clive's fortune, business, and reputation enough that he would have no reason to return home, then she swallowed him and carried him back to the Jungle. She then spat him up in a pre-furnished office specifically built to fit his needs and specifications and then explained to him (In a different form, possibly her hot chick form) that this village will give him all wants (Weda) and all he needs (Weda again, or more specifically a family to teach him responsibility and compassion. Thenceforth she PRETENDED to not know who Dr. Clive was or his relation to Hale so that she wouldn't be arrested for all the accounts of fraud and possibly robbery/arson she committed to force Clive into his new way of life.
  • Guu? Arrested? What are you smoking?
    • That's the part you find unbelievable?

This anime is set in the distant future of Avatar: The Last Airbender
First and foremost, most of the jungle animals are somewhat mix&match: (Pokute are Rabbit-leamurs, Those pink Birds are naked mole swallows, Hee was a Banana Canary (Hence why Guu thought both were disgusting) Ect.)In this very distant future (Maybe a millenia or two after Aang's death)Bending has become a rudimentury art, on par with opening a can of beer or flushing a toilet, therefore no one talks about it much or marvels over it. Most people in Hale's time can bend all four elements to a small degree, most have a greater control over the element that best matches their personality: Hale and Weda are probably Waterbenders (when Hale is partucularly upset or angry at something it begins to rain like crazy. Coincidence? Plus they did float out really far into the ocean on the beach episode, even for a rip-tide. My guess is they subconciecly waterbended away from land while asleep.),The crazy barber lady is an Earthbender (Episode 18. All I'm gonna say.) Plus at least one of the schoolkids for them to be able to dig such a big pit in episode 19 in such a short amount of time, and at least one of them is a powerful firebender (My guess is either Mari or the girl who told the story of the little match girl in episode 20.)Bending is now taught by parents in all four forms to at least a minor degree, to make rudimentury taskes such as digging and gathering water easier.

Last, but not least, Guu is the new Avatar(Bet you saw that coming from a mile away). Hale (And Dr Clive, to an extent), are the only ones unaware of this. When Guu first arrived in the village, she told everyone at the village meeting who and what she was and they accepted her with open arms. All the parents told their children of this development and thus almost no one in the village is alarmed at her antics. Weda didn't tell Hale about who Guu was because to do so would make him overly jealous of her and could cause unheard of damage to either his own mental state or Guu's physical one. Besides, Hale has an idealist image of what an Avatar should be like, so when he see's Guu, he thinks monster as opposed to Avatar. One more thing: Since the four elements are now practiced by everyone the Avatar is now charged with (As well as protecting the people and preventing another world war) discovering what other elements or principles can be bent by humans. Most of the crazy stuff that Guu does on the show is either practicing other bending tecniques developed by former Avatars or discovering and applying tecniques she developed herself.

Hale's spirit animal is the North American Pacific Northwest deity, the raven, and Guu is its "human" avatar
Wikipedia describes the raven in relation to the mythologies of the natives of the North American Pacific Northwest as a mischievous creator deity. It's described as two beings, the "creator raven, responsible for bringing the world into being and who is sometimes considered to be the indivudal who brought light to the darkness," and the "childish raven, always selfish, sly, conniving, and hungry."

Recall how in the beginning, Guu took on a large, monstrous black shape, suggesting she was some sort of powerful deity, and suggesting that this deity was black. Ravens are also black, but admittedly they are not very large. Recall the episodes in which Guu became an older form of herself to protect Hale and his friends. This may have been the avatar of the creator raven, while Guu's smaller, more childlike self is the childish raven. Recall the episode in which Dama was cutting Gupta's hair and told everyone about their guardian spirits. She freaked out when she got to Hale and didn't see anything for Guu. Perhaps when she identified Hale's guardian spirit she saw a god (the raven) and was at first amazed, and then shook her head in disbelief and proceeded. If that were the case, when she failed to identify Guu's guardian spirit, it could be because spirits have no guardian spirits.

Who knows why the raven took special interest in cultivating and caring for Hale? Perhaps he is the reincarnation of the daughter of the one who guarded the materials from which the raven fashioned the world, the gray eagle. The story says that the raven fell in love with the gray eagle's daughter, and was once a snow-white bird, which the daughter found pleasing. When the raven stole the elements, it carried them in its beak and burned itself badly while trying to carry the element of fire, and it is now black (and presumably regarded as unattractive by the gray eagle's daughter). This could be symbolized by Guu's habit of changing faces and the fact that Hale only likes her when she's wearing her cute face (during which time her other abilities do not appear to manifest, just as the raven could not create the world before it had stolen the elements).

Also in the festival episode, there was a bird shape on the curtains for the play. And in Episode 20, when Guu was wearing the polar bear skin and closed the curtains to prevent Hale from watching her prepare food, a silhouette of a bird flashed. Guu could have needed to briefly revert to her true form for some reason, which was why she didn't want Hale to see. A more likely story is that she was just fooling with his head, as implied more directly, but it could be both.

Clive's story can also be considered homage to the story of the raven. The raven and the gray eagle's daughter were superficially romantically engaged, and when the raven stole the elements from the gray eagle, it turned black, and the gray eagle's daughter no longer took interest in it. Similarly, in Clive's story, Clive and Weda were superficially romantically engaged, and when Clive stole virginity from Weda, Weda no longer took interest in him, and an indeterminate amount of time afterward, he dyed his white hair black. From this perspective, Hale's birth in the jungle could be considered representative of the raven bringing the elements to mankind, represented by the jungle, while the spirit world in which the raven and the gray eagle initially resided could be represented by the city. By this reasoning, Clive's story is arguably a better match for the raven than that of Guu, but Guu's story matches well enough as well that it seems silly to disregard this match, even in favor of a closer match. Perhaps Guu is related to Clive somehow. Perhaps Clive's spirit guardian was the raven, but it was passed on to Hale when he was born, explaining Guu's appearance.

The teacher always falls asleep, because
he has narcolepsy.

Guu is the child of Rock Lee and Sakura Haruno
click hereTranslation of a reader's comment:"Holy fuck! So Naruto sealed the Juubi in Sakura's and Rock Lee child, Guu said "screw that" and escaped to the world of Haré and Weda, using some kind of horseshit (the powers of the Jubbi or some other crap) to started to troll Haré"? note 


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