''I'm not a Smurf."
This troper may exhibit the following tropes:
- Acceptable Target: and all variations thereof: I will take a shot at everyone, including myself.
- Accidental Pervert: accidental (I swear!)
- Badass Mustache: every year, there's an international charity event called "Movember", in which men get sponsored and grow mustaches over the month of November to raise money for prostate cancer research and men's health awareness. Mine made me look like a pedophile for a while, then merely a sex offender, then will finally end at "bad".
- Genius Bruiser: I try not to self-aggrandize, but I'm (apparently) built like a linebacker, studied judo, karate, and fencing, and have a doctorate. Also, most of my martial arts training came in college, you could say I Minored In Ass Kicking.
- Man in a Kilt: I will not answer the question that comes with wearing a kilt. You can, at your option, find out for yourself.
- Perma Stubble: Hollywood makes it look sexy. Reality makes it a little annoying.
- TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life: Seriously, as I type this, I should be studying.