-->''I'm not a Smurf."
--> -Smerf

[[AC:This troper may exhibit the following tropes:]]

* AcceptableTarget: and all variations thereof: I will take a shot at ''everyone'', including myself.
* AccidentalPervert: accidental (I swear!)
* BadassMustache: every year, there's an international charity event called "Movember", in which men get sponsored and grow mustaches over the month of November to raise money for prostate cancer research and men's health awareness. Mine made me look like a pedophile for a while, then merely a sex offender, then will finally end at "bad".
* GeniusBruiser: I try not to self-aggrandize, but I'm (apparently) built like a linebacker, studied judo, karate, and fencing, and have a doctorate. Also, most of my martial arts training came in college, you could say I TroperTales/MinoredInAssKicking.
* ManInAKilt: I will not answer the question that comes with wearing a kilt. You can, at your option, [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean find out for yourself]].
* PermaStubble: Hollywood makes it look sexy. Reality makes it a little annoying.
* TVTropesWillRuinYourLife: Seriously, as I type this, I should be studying.