"A thought struck me when I woke up. I knocked it cold and went back to sleep... "Huh. Okay, well... I always get started one one of these and then discover that I'm never completely sure just what the heck to actually say in this space. So... whut da heck: I reckon I'll just paraphrase my bio sheet from Fan fiction dot net and Twisting the Hellmouth and various other sites I've been, ah, notorious at during my internet lifespan. Well, edited judiciously to fix all the changes that my Evil Twin has made over the years. Just kidding. I don't really have an “Evil Twin”. I am the evil twin. Name: Ferrous Ursine aka Ironbear Other Known Aliases: I'm not telling, so there! Oh ok. Quit looking at me like that. I mean it! Stop that! I was secretly Mr. Collache in a previous life. I've been around the 'net for awhile now, but I've been using this 'net nick just about everywhere since around '95 or so, so it's pretty safe to say that it's stuck by this point. Height: 6'1" (roughly – give er take a quarter inch or so) When I first wake up I'm 7' tall and hairy. I shrink after coffee. Build: Skinny sumbeech. ;} Eye Color: Blue (No matter what my various so called friends tell you, they are NOT "red and glowing") Favorite Food: WHAT?!?! You mean we're supposed to pick just ONE?? Oh-kay... Fajitas. No... steak. No... Pizza! That's it! Supreme Pizza – Nature's Perfect Food! Actually, it's Coffee. Ummm... whatta ya mean "Coffee's not a food?" Get real. Favorite Color: Burgandy. Or Grey. Maybe. Possibly Blue. (Sorry – Black is a not a color even if it is what I wear most of the time.) Favorite Smell: Steak on a grill. (Are we noticing a trend here? I should go eat... ) Interests: Varied. Anything that strikes my sense of absurdity or catches my overdeveloped sense of curiousity. Women, Sci-Fi, Fantasy, graphic arts, writing, Rock & Roll, humour, annoying people in forums, firearms, hunting, weapons, women (I *know* I said women twice. You go list YOUR interests and leave me alone.), computer gaming, internet weirdness, real life weirdness, computers, technology, women... hrmmm... screw it. Let's just stick with "women". It's brief and it encompasses all of the above. Favorite Movies: Die Hard, Nightmare Before Christmas, Streets of Fire, Silverado, Rio Bravo, Alien and Aliens, Predator 1 & 2, Terminator 2, The Evil Dead movies. Favorite TV Shows: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel, Bones, The X-Files (in spite of the rampant Chris Carter Effect), Firefly, Night Heat, and an assortment of passing fads over the years. Most Inspired By: Whatever catches my imagination. Absurdity generally. Website: none. I have enough of an internet presence by this point without inflicting a vanity page on casual strangers. I can be found most often posting on and browsing Fanfiction.net and Twisting the Hellmouth.org when I'm not lost in TV Tropes or wandering around the Other Wiki doing research for something I'm writing at. Profession: None. Avocation: fanfic author. I enjoy it and it keeps me happy and mostly out of trouble. Current Projects: a rather lengthy Buffyverse fanfic series titled “Hell-er-nator: The Cordelia Chase Chronicles” over at Twisting the Hellmouth. It's not quite “TV Tropes the Fanfiction”, but it seems to be working at it... Email: It's in my profile. I even bother to check it on occasion. Less frequently, I even read the stuff in there. And a site PM will reach me eventually. NOTE: The secret to doing one of these and keeping your anonymity is to give multiple choice answers and let people decide what they want to believe. ;) Okay, seriously. I'm a former custom computer builder and web admin from Dallas, Texas, a former admin, moderator, and columnist for Renderosity and Renderotica, former wiki admin at Daz 3D, and former admin/host of Radio Free Ironbear. I've been writing fiction – albeit not necessarily writing fanfic – since around 1986 or so. I started seriously writing fanfic in various genres around 2000, after having dropped out of the Trek fic scene in the late 80's. I started out as a graphic designer and advertising wonk. Go figger. Astute observers will have noted that I have a LOT of “formers” in my resume, but no real “current”. Very good! Take one No Prize outta petty cash. I'm currently either semi-employed, semi-retired, or unemployable, depending on your perspective. It gives me lots of free time. It also cuts down on my workload and on the number of morons... er... bosses whose posteriors I have to smooch. I'm also a certified Net Whacko. Or is that "certifiable"? (o0) Ummm... let me get back to yas on that... Whenever possible I tend to be owned by dogs and multiple cats. Generally Blue Heelers and Australian Shepherds. In the past, I've been owned by various horses and a significant other, but I had to give that up. Well, the SO gave me up – I was able to turn a profit on the horses. I'm currently dogless and catless. I intend to fix that once I move to a place that allows actual dogs, rather than just dog substitutes of twenty-five pounds or less. I used to state that I wanted to be a novelist when I grew up. Then I realized that if I haven't grown up by age 54, it ain't likely to happen. So I settled in to writing fan fiction... which, considering that I enjoy it immensely, suits me. That whole “getting published” thing seems like it's entirely too much like “Real Work”. If I absolutely had to describe myself as a collection of tropes, they would consist of: Deadpan Snarker with a hefty dollop of Brilliant, but Lazy. Yeah yeah... I know that BBL isn't necessarily a plus, but I don't consider it a character flaw, and I have zero plans to work on the lazy parts: the container for my supply of GAF broke off years ago. I'd take it in to the shop to get it fixed, but I just can't seem to give a rat's.
— Ferrous Ursine