Trope Co.® would like to release the newest line in Blob Monster™ in celebration of this year's Earth Day!
Introducing the Muck Monster™!
Made with the finest in petroleum oils, CO2-rich smog, yellow-cake uranium, genetically mutated slime-mold and good ol' American feces, the Muck Monster™ is the perfect soldier in your fight against those pesky ethnically-diverse kids and their environmentally-conscious Captain Superhero. They're fluid enough to absorb and avoid attacks, yet durable enough to throw a punch. They are flammable, yet can smother that flame with its own noxious smog. Their fumes are deadly enough to topple entire armies and they can even clear out that pesky babbling brooks with not-so impressive precision.
For only 12 easy payments of $199.99 a month, the Muck Monster™ can be yours. Call 1-800-555-TROPECO within the next 5-minutes and you can receive a free Green Aesop™ with your final installment.
Trope Co.® Muck Monster™: Now in poison-purple and nuclear-green!
Trope Co.® is not responsible for any medical or monetary complications related to Muck Monster™, including ischemic heart disease, stroke, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), lung cancer, pancreatic cancer, acute lower respiratory infections, stomach-ulcers, loss of hair, loss of sight, loss of teeth, Bone-Brittle Disease, appendicitis, toxic hepatitis, acid burns, destruction of property, missing pets, missing children, spontaneous appearance of animal and human bones on your property, radiation-related electrical blackouts and Class 6 planetary extinction. Muck Monster™ is not for human consumption. If consumed, contact your local poison center for immediate medical attention and then your local morgue.
Trope Co.® Muck Monster™ User's Manual sold separately.
