Tear Jerker / Foggy Nights and Phantom Flights

It's not fair... Why did you have to leave me, Mama?

— Goro Akechi

As a story with Goro Akechi as the protagonist, it has no shortage of heartbreaking moments. There's a reason why the first installment is titled "The Crow Cries at Midnight".

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

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• Goro Akechi's backstory. Where to begin? Born to a sex worker in a red light district, he lost his mother to suicide at the age of 6, and had since been passed through foster homes and orphanages, suffering neglect and abuse all the while. Due to the stigma surrounding children born out of wedlock in Japan, Akechi spent much of his life unwanted and unloved. By the events of the story, Akechi has resigned himself to this cycle.
  Akechi: [To Dojima] I already know how this goes. You'll ask me a few questions, and then you'll leave. I'll be told with an insufferably saccharine smile that everything is okay and I'll be sent off to a 'new and better' home that will be equally abhorrent in its own way, and the cycle will continue until I graduate middle school and am left to fend for myself.
  • Evidently, this is exactly what happened to Akechi in canon. The Persona 5 Artbook states that he lived alone in a city apartment, having presumably moved out once he was old enough to live on his own. Having never experienced the support system and stability brought on by Kanji and Dojima's intervention, Akechi ended up going down a dark path in life. With no positive influences or meaningful connections in his life, Akechi would become a hitman and Unwitting Pawn for his hated birth father, committing numerous atrocities in a desperate bid for vengeance and parental acknowledgment.
  • His previous foster parents not only subjected him to physical abuse; they'd frequently lock him out of the house and take off to the Amagi Inn whilst leaving him to fend for himself, sometimes in the rain. Akechi's jaded demeanour makes it clear that he's used to being treated like this and that he expects this sort of mistreatment from adults.
  • The narration in Chapter 1 also indicates that he's accustomed to being shunned as a bastard child; that he expects people to laugh at how frail he looks, or mock him for his prior inability to find a stable home. Kanji was likely the first person in a long time to show him any semblance of kindness.
  • Akechi is immediately distrustful of Dojima when the latter offers to adopt him, expecting there to be some kind of ulterior motive and disbelieving that an adult would take in a burden such as himself out of altruism. Its takes living with Dojima for a week for Akechi to realize that the former is serious about giving him a home.
• Ryotaro Dojima's first appearance makes it abundantly clear that he's still grieving the death of his wife and relentlessly trying to track down her killer whilst struggling to connect with his daughter.
• This exchange, which takes place when Dojima becomes the first adult (barring Lala Escargot) to show synpathy for Akechi's mom. It paints a heartbreaking image of Akechi's self-loathing.
  Akechi: ...I wish the man who had cursed my mother was half the man that you are.
  Dojima: ...C'mon. You aren't a curse.
  Akechi: Aren't I? My own mother favored death over her own child… It should have been him...
• Akechi's strained reaction when he learns that Yu Narukami, Dojima's nephew and a blood relative, will be staying with them for a year. Despite knowing now that this family won't kick him out like his previous foster families did, Akechi's fear of abandonment and lack of self-worth as a bastard child is prevalent in this moment. He briefly has a flashback to his past foster families which discarded him.
  "You will never be a part of this family. You're just a burden, you bastard brat!"
  "We're sorry, but we just can't meet your needs any longer. I'm sure you'll find a better home."
  "She's pregnant! No way we can handle a baby AND you!"
• Poor Saki Konishi gets more characterisation prior to her untimely death. Her trauma from discovering Mayumi Yamano's corpse is evident during her encounter with Akechi and Kanji. She had dark circles beneath her eyes and her voice was hoarse as though she had been crying. Akechi understood the trauma of finding a corpse all too well.
  It all made sense now. The tired look in her eyes. Her hoarse manner of speaking. Her distant, spacey behavior… To find a corpse, especially unprompted…
  To walk into your own home, calling for a mother who would never respond. To open the door, to see a swaying shadow, to look up, and—
  Akechi slammed his eyes shut, trying to shake away the memory. That was then. This was now. This was Saki's pain, not his.
  • Akechi empathizing with Saki's trauma, sweet as it may be, is a heartbreaking reminder of how young he was when he discovered his own mother's suicide.
    Akechi: For what it's worth, I understand. I went through something similar when I was little.
    Saki: No way! That's… I don't even know what to say.
    Akechi: You don't have to say anything. It was a long time ago, and there was nothing I could do. I suppose I just wanted to offer some semblance of solidarity.
• Chapter 8 gives a more vivid depiction of Saki Konishi's last moments. Despite his best efforts, Teddie is unable to save Saki from the Midnight Channel, and she meets a gruesome demise at the hands of her Shadow, all while Akechi watched helplessly from the regular world. This is the moment where the story gets its namesake.
  Akechi's eyes squeezed shut, but the tears kept flowing.
  "Honestly? I still think about it from time to time. But the pain does dull eventually. Just give it time, Konishi-san."
  There was no more time. The screams intensified, then died.
  The image faded. The TV dulled. He knew what came next.
  And so, on that lonely midnight, Akechi cried, and he cried, and he cried…
  Until the last of his tears ran dry.
• The next chapter explores Akechi's guilt over her inability to save Saki Konishi. Although they weren't friends, she was nonetheless someone he knew, and someone whom he was able to empathize with. Upon meeting with Kanji after school, Akechi instinctively ran towards him before stopping himself when he realized what he was doing. In response, Kanji gave Akechi a one-armed hug, who in turn broke down sobbing into Kanji's chest.
  Akechi: I knew this would happen. I knew, and I couldn't even do anything. Damn it! I told her it'd get better. Well, now, it will never get better for her!
• Yosuke was also understandably grief-ridden over Saki's death, as was Teddie, who was devastated over his inability to save her. Yu and Yosuke enter the Midnight Channel only to find Teddie sobbing on the floor.
  Teddie: W—Why…? Why'd you come back? I couldn't…
  Yosuke: [Grabs Teddie's wrist and yanks him to his feet] Start talking, bear! What happened to Saki-senpai?!
  Yu: Yosuke!
  Teddie: I tried to save her! I really did. B—But then a scary version of her showed up and started saying a buncha things she didn't wanna hear. It was unbearable!
  Yosuke: And you just let it happen!? You had no problem kicking us out! So what gives?
  Teddie: Eep! You gotta understand. That other her was her Shadow! It mighta had Saki-chan's sweet face, but—
  Yosuke: [Shoves Teddie] You do not get to call her—
  Yu: That's enough! [To Yosuke] I get it. You're still grieving, but that's no excuse to take it out on him.
• Despite (or perhaps because of) Akechi's interest in the murder case, Yu refuses to bring him into the TV world out of concern for his safety. Unfortunately, Akechi interprets Yu's well-intentioned concern as condescension, exacerbating the rift between them.
  • This exchange has some unsettling implications on Akechi's lack of self-worth.
    Yu: Then tell me something, Akechi-kun. What would you do if you had to face a part of you that you hate? What if your darkest feelings came out of hiding and demanded you accept them?
    Akechi: Interesting… But you should know, Narukami-san… I'm well acquainted with my darkest feelings. There is a burning, seething ugliness inside of me that makes me question what anyone could see in me. So if you're trying to imply something about my character, spare me. It's nothing I haven't thought of before.
    • The fact that, at the age of 12, Akechi so readily accepts his bitterness and self-loathing that, much like canon Futaba, his Shadow embodies his repressed positive feelings. His longing for companionship, his desire to be loved unconditionally; feelings which would be considered healthy and "normal" for children without Akechi's deep-rooted trauma. He struggles to accept that he really does care for the people around him and that they in turn care for him; that he himself is worth caring for.
• Nanako's heartbroken reaction when Dojima is forced to cancel their plans for Golden Week due to work commitments, thereby breaking his promise to spend time with her. Akechi remembered going through the exact same thing with his mother, spending countless nights on his own at the bathhouse. Determined not to let Nanako experience the same loneliness he endured throughout his life, Akechi comforted her as she cried into his chest. He even held her the exact same way his mother held him. Doubles as a heartwarming moment, as this is the point where he offers to become Nanako's brother, thereby embracing her as an adoptive sister.
  Nanako: D—Daddy promised…
  Akechi: Shh. I know. And I'm sure that if he could, he'd keep that promise.
• Mother's Day can be a difficult occasion for anyone grieving the loss of a mother or maternal figure. And for Akechi, this day serves as a painful reminder of his mother's suicide. After waking up from a nightmare, Akechi shambles downstairs and tried to occupy himself with his studies, only to break down in tears as his mind wandered to that which he lost.
  Mother's Day was always so agonizing after she died. All those years alone and unloved… His foster parents never gave a shit. They wouldn't have understood. But this day, here and now, hammered a wedge even deeper into his heart. Here he was, in a lovely home, with a loving family. He should have been happy. This was everything his mother tried so desperately to provide for him, yet could never quite achieve…
  But she was gone. She'd never know that her Go-chan finally found a place that could be a real home. She'd never know how, even now, he missed her every day, with her smiling face growing hazier as time's arrow sailed ever forward.
  "It's not fair!" He pounded the table. "Why did you have to leave me, Mama?"
  Wasn't he enough…?
  • Akechi trying to explain his mother's suicide to Nanako when the latter comforts him.
    Akechi: You're so strong, Nanako-chan. I don't know how you manage.
    Nanako: But you're strong, too. Daddy said you've been through a lot of painful things that I wouldn't understand.
    Akechi: Too painful to burden you with. I grew up somewhere… dangerous for children, full of corruption and depravity. My mother was left to raise me alone, and she… It was so hard, Nanako-chan. Too hard, and eventually… it became too much.
    Nanako: Something happened to her...
    Akechi: Something very bad, and I was left all alone. Then I kept changing homes. Nobody wanted to keep me, and many times they were… cruel.
    Nanako: Like the bad people Dad rescued you from.
    Akechi: Yes. Just like them. But… It wasn't my mother's fault. Society broke her in ways I can't even begin to describe. I only wish I could have saved her, Nanako-chan. S—She would have loved you…
• The moment Akechi sets foot within the TV world, the turmoil within his heart causes a dungeon to manifest in the form of Shinjuku's Red Light District. Shaped by the horrors of Akechi's childhood, his pain and agony is laid bare within this hellish landscape. His feelings of worthlessness, his resentment towards the world that saw him as less than human, his fear of abandonment... Not to mention his grief and trauma from his mother's suicide.
  • Neon signs depicting Akechi's feelings protruded from the sides of buildings, each with a heartbreaking message.
    SAVE ME.
    DON'T GO…
    EMPTY.
    ALONE…
    DON'T LEAVE ME…
    WORTHLESS…
    GARBAGE…
    SO SCARED.
  • Throughout the dungeon, the silhouette of Akechi's mother's hung corpse is seen flickering throughout the streets; the very same silhouette from Akechi's traumatic memories which haunt him to this day.
  • At one point, the Investigation Team hears a flashback of the moment Akechi discovered his mom's suicide. The image of a six year old boy crying over his mother's hanged corpse is nothing short of heartbreaking.
    Mama! Mama, please... Come back to me. You have to…
  • Following this, the Investigation Team hears voices presumably belonging to Akechi's past foster parents; the heartless adults who looked down upon him throughout his life. Passed from foster home to foster home, an unwanted and unloved bastard child.
    What a poor child. His rotten slut of a mother didn't even have the decency to put him in a home.
    So even his own family couldn't handle him... What a shame.
    How many times has this happened now, Goro-kun? Can't you be a good little boy?
    Akechi: But I am good! I do everything I'm told! I'm a good student. I try to be polite. Aren't I good enough?!
    • Immediately on cue, the neon signs flicker violently with the message "AREN'T I?!" until they burst into sparks and smoke.
    • When Shadow Akechi admits that Akechi secretly craves understanding, the neon signs light back up with one single message:
      WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME?

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And so, on that lonely midnight, Akechi cried, and he cried, and he cried…
Until the last of his tears ran dry.

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