"I'm gonna take one last ride with my granddaughter."
Delocated may be a ridiculous satire of reality TV, but under the surface, it's the tragic story of a man who loses more than he could possibly imagine. Spoilers are unmarked.
- In “The Soother”, Yvgeny tells his father about his dream to become a comic, and gives him a CD recording of his routine. At first, Papa acts like he’s proud of his son… then he tosses the CD in the trash right in front of him, and bluntly tells the guard, “This not my son.” The poor guy can only cry to himself after.
- Mike's death. Jon and the others find his bloodied body in the loft, and it's enough to make the guy snap. In a fit of hysteria, Jon strips down and runs off to the mental ward sobbing, where (as a caption explains) he stays for thirty days on suicide watch after attempting to slit his wrists. Then by the time he's discharged, he develops dissociative identity disorder (though Mighty Joe Jon is able to snap him out of it by the end).
- The deaths of Jon's parents. While Jon is off having a good time at the Witness Protection mixer, Sergei tracks his folks down and shoots them in cold blood, in front of their own home, no less. Jon is devastated when he hears the news, and later decides to dedicate his performance at the talent show to his parents. He can barely get through rehearsal without breaking down onstage, his mother's final words still echoing in his head.Jon's Mom: Okay pooper bear, good luck. I love you!
- In "Mole", Jon (masquerading as Sergei to infiltrate the Mirminskys) unwillingly marries Sergei's bride-to-be and eventually conceives a son. 18 months pass before Rob and the others finally arrive to bail him out... which leads to Jon completely abandoning the wife and child. The episode ends with the poor baby crying while his confused mother searches for her husband. It's as heartbreaking as it is mean-spirited.
- Yvgeny's entire subplot in "Kim's Krafts". He and Segei celebrate their father's birthday at the prison, but when he gets his dad a vodka cozy from Kim's store as a gift, Sergei lambasts him for supporting the girlfriend of their worst enemy, cutting the celebration short. Even Papa is genuinely disappointed in him. Yvgeny later enters a comedy contest in a last ditch effort to make Papa proud, only to get totally sidelined by Jon, whose routine impresses the judge so much that they end the contest before Yvgeny could even perform. The poor guy spends the rest of the night sobbing backstage, hugging his vodka bottle tight like a teddy bear.
- Kim being forced to close her shop down, after the Mirminskys start killing everyone who bought her tortilla hats. It's bad enough that she has to give up a business that she put so much effort into, but it's also implied that she feels completely responsible for the deaths of her customers, and the weight of that burden is enough to throw her into depression.
- “David’s Girlfriend” ends with the death of Chris, a member of Jon’s “Good Guys Club”. As the credits roll, the remaining members sing a solemn rendition of “America the Beautiful” before sharing a toast, in honor of their late friend. It’s surprisingly poignant.
- The ending of "Friend", good GOD. Jon's old flame Karen informs him that she bore his daughter without his knowledge, and she went on to bear a daughter herself. To make up for lost time, he decides to fly Karen and his new granddaughter to New York so they could spend some quality time together. After a wonderful day hanging out in the city, Jon wires them a million dollars (left to him from his late friend's will) so they could have plenty of financial support back home. The next day, as Jon waits for the two to arrive for another family date, TB steps in to give him the bad news: Karen lied to him. The two never had a daughter, and the little girl he spent time with is not his granddaughter. Karen just used Jon for his money, and ran off without even saying goodbye. Heartbroken, Jon steps into the limo that was supposed to pick them up (still holding the little outfit that he made for the girl) and takes "one last ride" with his "granddaughter". As the end credits roll, we see him sobbing to himself in the car, alone and betrayed.
- Susan is Killed Offscreen in Season 3. While it's initially played for laughs with Jon seemingly caring more for her insurance money, it's made clear throughout the season that her death did cut him deeply; they may have had their squabbles, but he still considers her the love of his life, as noted in the intro. "Reunion Show" also gives us some "unseen" footage of Jon reacting to her passing; while it is over-the-top and silly, he still comes off as downright devastated.
- "The Frrt Identity", the series finale, gives us what may be the harshest death in the show: David's. Sergei kidnaps Jon and brainwashes him for an entire year, programming him to hunt down his own son and kill him. When Jon returns to New York, he reunites with David, and they share a heartfelt hug after a year apart from each other... then Sergei's influence kicks in. Jon kills TB after the latter tries to apprehend him, then he chases David into the park, making it clear that his body is moving on its own and he has no control over it. Jon finally gets ahold of David and slowly chokes him to death, looking into son's eyes with utter sorrow as he carries out the deed. All of this happens to the tune of "Cats in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin.My child arrived just the other day.He came to the world in the usual way.But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay.He learned to walk while I was away,and he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,he'd say "I'm gonna be like you, Dad.""You know I'm gonna be like you."
- After Jon finally kills Sergei, he takes one last bite of his sandwich, approaches a training dummy resembling David (the one Sergei used to train him), and tearfully gives it a hug, as if this was the only way he could truly say goodbye to his son.
