M-95's Sandboxes Main Sandbox Pantheon: m-95: The Redundant Pantheon | m-95: The Church Triumphant | m-95: Misc. Pantheon Groupings Others: m-95's Metal Album Covers | m-95: The Lily Orchard Writing Tips Commentary | M-95 Misc Dump
Commentary on and archive of Lily Orchard's infamous writing tips, made my m-95. To see other archives, see this thread by @ENIGMVTIK
(screenshots) and this archive.today snapshot (text archive).
Below is two folders. The first folder is a full, text archive of the original list for reference. The second folder is my own, personal commentary on these tips where I give my opinion.
Tip: try listening to Entrance of the Gladiators by Julius Fučík while reading Lily's tips for added effect. It helps.
1) Don't worry about spoilers. If your story is good, spoilers aren't going to make it any less enjoyable. If spoilers make a story less enjoyable, that just means you were relying on cheap shock value as a shortcut.
2) The middle point of a story is the best time to get a main couple together. Are you working on a 5 season show? Put your main couple together halfway through Season 3. The finale is the worst time because we don't get any time to enjoy the payoff.
3) Friends to Lovers > Enemies to Lovers. Every time.
4) Victims of abuse moving away from the negative impacts of their abuse (ie, Zuko) and becoming healthier are not "redemption arcs."
5) Heroes refusing to kill villains who have shown to be actively trying to murder people isn't "noble." It's enabling.
6) Two women kissing in the last episode of a show after 4-5 seasons of trying to murder each other isn't "Revolutionary." It's fetishized abuse and violence.
7) Twitter is not an appropriate place to reveal story details. The appropriate place is IN THE WORK ITSELF!
8) When a character's body count is over 10,000 innocent lives then that character is no longer redeemable.
9) Tip 8 does not apply to characters for whom making them the villain was a stupid, idiotic idea (ie, Sylvanas Windrunner). At that point it's just character rerailment.
10) Everything in a story is there because the creator wished it to be there. Trying to explain away bigoted story decisions using worldbuilding is a fallacy because you put it there to begin with.
11) Don't pair adults with minors. That's pedophilia.
12) Don't sexualize teenage characters.
13) Don't make up weird anime excuses for sexualizing teenage characters ("actually 1,000", "fusion", "Age of consent in X country is..."). See Rule 10.
14) Making a "metaphor" for gay/trans/ace rep is always inherently inferior to just making a gay/trans/ace character.
15) If there are humans in your story, restricting gay/trans/ace rep to the non-human characters makes you a huge turd.
16) If the only gay man in your work is a faupish diva, you're a huge turd.
17) If the only lesbian in your work is an abusive rageaholic with vague angst issues and a codependent relationship to a protagonist, you're a huge turd.
18) If your only nonbinary character is a non-human shapeshifter, you're a huge turd.
19) If your only autistic character is an ethically-challenged number fetishist, you're a huge turd.
20) If your only black character is a volatile, hyper-angry brute, you're a huge turd.
21) If the only black woman in your cast barely gets any screen time except to be fetishized OR fits rule 20, you're a huge turd.
22) If the only trans woman in your cast a Drag Queen in all but name, you're a huge turd.
23) If you force a woman to kiss her abuser, you're a huge turd.
24) If you sideline every non-white character in your cast to focus on a white boy with anger issues and a tendency toward hostility getting a redemption arc, you're a huge turd.
25) Justifying horny armor designs or horny clothing designs with "Sexual Agency" makes you a huge turd. Characters don't have sexual agency, you made them that way as a justification. See Rule 10.
26) Related to the above, if your justification is to just be honest and say you like ogling sexy characters, you're still a huge turd, but slightly less of a turd than the above.
Slightly.
27) Don't worry about not having everything planned out beforehand. No writer or creator plans everything beforehand, and the ones who say they do are filthy liars. Writers have at best 1-2 story beats they're determined to include, everything else is by the seat of their pants
28) Don't try and "do what Avatar did." You can't. Even the people who made Avatar can't make another show do what Avatar did.
29) Low-stakes interpersonal conflict will always be more satisfying in the long run than high-stakes saving the world. "Friends" is more popular than your favorite anime for a reason.
30) Choose whether you're a comedy or drama at the start and stick to it. Don't make a comedy and turn it into a drama later on, that just annoys people.
31) Worldbuilding is like salt. A pinch can make it better, 10 cups of it will not.
32) Characters should always come before anything else.
33) The protagonist should be a protagonist, not just a vessel for the antagonist to hog the story. If you're going to make a villain protagonist, just open with that.
34) Perspective shifts are a staple of storytelling. Having only one perspective isn't a "stylistic choice" it's just crap.
35) If you're making a cartoon, hire writers. Don't just have your storyboarders write the story. That's not what they're there for. Artists draw, writers write, artists cannot just take over for the writers on a whim.
36) Related to Rule 2: Will They, Won't They isn't a fun story. It's just addiction-peddling. We need to stop pretending Ross/Rachel was good storytelling and learn to appreciate Chandler/Monica and Joey/Rachel.
37) "Romance Trope, but gay" is not an absolute rule to live by. If She Ra taught us anything it's that "Gay Reylo" was not actually an improvement.
38) Someone on this hellsite once made the remark "We need more lesbian noncon because purity is boring." That is a dangerous, violent person. Do not listen to them, they do not have a point, seriously my fucking god what is wrong with you people?!
39) Women who fetishize abuse (Reylos, Catradoras, KiGos, ect) and present it as something feminist and paint detractors as misogynists are gaslighting you. Don't listen to them.
40) If abuse fetishists are giving you shit for not caving to their demands, just block them. Don't argue with them, don't debate them, don't treat them with good faith. Just block them and get on with your day.
41) Rape victims are not villains and should never be written as villains. Don't be like @Blizzard_Ent . It costs $0 to not be a misogynistic pig.
42) If straight men really hate a certain character, but lesbians love them, there's an 90% chance that is your best character.
43) If one of your writers believes Simon (Infinity Train) was misunderstood and Grace is a villain, that writer should be fired immediately.
44) The best solution to a love triangle is polyamory.
45) If you have a male character who actually shows respect and admiration to a woman, and some of your viewers call that character a "simp" there is a 90% chance you have a good character.
46) "Mary Sue" is not a real criticism. It's thinly veiled misogyny. Always disregard it.
47) Emotional vulnerability does not make a female character "antifeminist."
48) Goblins are inherently antisemitic
49) If your first thought when told about a bigoted trope (Bury your gays, Goblins, ect) is to try and figure out how to "do it well" you are a huge turd who is missing the point. It's not that these tropes aren't "done well", it's that they're done too much.
50) Writing a relationship based on a "dynamic" or trying to get a particular trope (ie, enemies to lovers) into the story is a bad decision.
51) Vitriol does not immediately render criticism invalid. If you tone police criticism, you will likely miss something important.
52) Your fandom will fight and argue. This is how people solve conflicts. It's typically better to let people fight it out than to be complacent and beg people to "just stop fighting."
53) Related to the above, "every headcanon is valid" should never leave your mouth. Do you want pedophiles and fascists in your fanbase? Because that's how you get pedophiles and fascists in your fanbase.
54) Speaking out against abuse fetishists, pedophiles, and bigots in your fanbase will always be better in the long run than being quiet or complacent. It might be exhausting to deal with, but it's better for everyone in the long run.
55) "Fanservice" is a concept you should never think about. Fans who need to be "serviced" are not actually fans. If you have fans, those fans are already having fun and don't need to be pandered to.
56) The tendency for shipping to dominate discourse is the biggest sign that characters and their relationships are more satisfying than anything else. People didn't petition for a 4th season of Kim Possible to see what happened with Drakken or to see new villains.
57) Complaints about "too much negativity" is shooting the messenger. If there is an overabundance of negativity, that means there's things to be negative about. People cannot be positive without things to be positive about.
58) If you do something bigoted and get yelled at for it, listen to the people yelling at you. Cancel Culture isn't real, the rage and vitriol will be gone in two weeks, and you'll be a better person for it. Getting yelled at stopped being "the end of the world" at age 10.
59) The quickest and easiest way to make yelling stop is to own up to the mistake, don't make excuses (or explain why you did the bad thing), fix it, and never repeat it. Progressives are very forgiving if you give them results. Stubbornness is what gets people cancelled.
60) "Forced Diversity" is a right-wing dogwhistle, not a criticism.
61) "Reclaimed" slurs are not universal, and as such should NEVER be included in a work.
62) Oppressed people fighting against their oppressors are not "Villains." No I don't care if you think they "went too far." Not all those who respond with violence are wrong, and not all those who preach nonviolence are right to do so.
63) Related to the above: A good spin on the "Heroes who never kill" mantra is to highlight how refusing to kill a villain who later goes on to kill more innocent people makes the hero responsible for those deaths. There's a free story theme for ya.
64) If you're writing fantasy and you have no issue having dragons in your world but suddenly think people of color are "unrealistic" because "something something Medivel Europe" you're a huge turd. And an idiot.
65) Sexual Tension and Chemistry are not the only indicators of a potential relationship, and in a relationship is the quickest thing to fade.
66) The best potential romantic partner for a character is her best friend. They're best friends for a reason.
67) "I don't want X character to be defined by her relationships" is a stupid philosophy to have. EVERYONE is defined by their relationships. That's how human beings work.
68) If you don't want a character to only be remembered for a romantic subplot, don't end the story on that subplot reaching it's conclusion. Give it time to sink in and become the new "normal" for the viewer. The memorable moment will always be the LAST moment.
69) "Slow Burn" does not mean "Taking forever to get together." It means "Full series long romantic subplot." Getting together is the START of a romantic subplot, not the end.
70) "Sexual Awakening" is not a real character arc.
71) The only people who think "Boob Armor" makes sense are people who have never touched a boob.
72) The Bow and Arrow are strength weapons, not dexterity weapons. Female characters who do archery should naturally be very physically strong. Longbows have a draw weight of 80-150lbs. Rangers are always stronger than Warriors, deal with it.
73) The best way to avoid tokenism is multiple characters.
74) Want an easy way to become more accustomed to diverse casts? Limit your "Straight, white, cis" characters to one of each. Those can be three characters for each trait, or pack it all into one character, but only one of each.
75) Don't be afraid of failure and backlash. If someone is screaming at you about how a character you made is racist, that is literally free writing advice that someone is just giving you. Look on the bright side of life for a change.
76) People of color and LGBTA people are allowed to just exist. Don't feel like you HAVE to cover bigotry just because they're in the story. In fact, people will be happier if you don't because having these characters defined by suffering is itself a tired trope.
77) "I just want my readers/viewers to have fun" is an excellent attitude to have when it comes to storytelling.
78) As a general rule, Slice of Life has always been a more popular genre than Action/Adventure.
79) "Feature Creep" is a problem in storytelling as well. You don't have to cram every single idea, reference and homage you can think of into a story. You can save ideas for another time.
80) D&D Alignments are terrible metrics for character design. They're meant as a quick reference for improvisation in a TTRPG environment and shouldn't be taken outside that environment.
81) When writing LGBTA characters, stay as far away from "Rocky Horror Picture Show" as you possibly can. Some gay people hold it up as a meaningful part of our "culture." It is not. It's a transmisogynistic nightmare made by an actual TERF, not a reference guide for ANYTHING.
82) The Q-slur as a concept tactily reinforces heteronormativity by casting LGBTA people as inherently "strange." In "No Big Deal" representation, the word should be avoided. Normalizing LGBTA people and the Q-Slur are like oil and water and don't go together.
83) Rape is an unforgivable crime, more so than killing. Killing can potentially be justified in a story without becoming a villain. Rape cannot.
84) Sex scenes are never necessary. You want to include one because you're horny, then more power to you. But any attempt to justify it as "important to the story" will only get you laughed at.
85) "Strong" characters can still cry and need support from others. Vulnerability is not a character flaw.
86) "Peak TV" is a fancy way of saying "Addiction-fueled misery porn."
87) Addiction-based storytelling relies on serialization, cliffhangers, "shocking twists", constantly raised stakes, and an obsession with foreshadowing to get people to watch not because they're enjoying themselves but because they're stuck on a tension high.
87, Pt 2) By the end, the viewer is only watching for closure because they've already invested so much and they need their fix in order to feel like it was worth it. This is the same business model that soap operas use.
88) If the Sunk Cost Fallacy didn't exist, shows like Steven Universe and Game of Thrones would have been cancelled by Season 2.
89) Hardcore fans will tell you that "Continuity" is the most important thing. They're wrong.
90) "This is too political" is a complaint only made by conservatives when a story acknowledges that non-white and non-straight people exist. The existence of other kinds of people is not political. Ignore these complaints.
91) The Little Mermaid and Cinderella are more feminist than Beauty and the Beast.
92) If you want to know when to change a trans character's pronouns in the narration, doing so at the moment where they realize who they are and admit it to themselves out loud is *chef's kiss*
93) As long as it isn't harmful or bigoted, you don't have to justify story decisions made on the basis of self-indulgence.
94) Vampires/Werewolves are not inherently "LGBTA-Coded" and doing so is an example of othering. They work better as metaphors for aristocracy and predators respectively than as the "Underclass."
95) Some of the best stories ever made were written as an act of spite.
96) Any system of government (with the exception of Fascism) can exist in a positive or negative context. Monarchies are not always inherently evil (see Hawaii pre-annexation) and Democracies are not always inherently good (See USA). Write accordingly.
97) "Lesbian still on good terms with ex-boyfriend from before coming out" is a really cute friendship trope. And vice versa.
98) The only real difference between an extremely close platonic relationship and a romantic relationship is what the people involved choose to call it. Best Friends are not something that should ever be prefixed with the word "Just."
99) Normalize friends saying "I love you" to each other.
100) If you write a 100-tweet long thread of writing advice, you are a huge loser with way too much free time on your hands. Get back to work and do something productive with your time!
101) "Tips" and "Rules" are two different words.
- What? No! Spoilers can spoil the story for people - that's why they're called "spoilers"! This is absolutely horrible advice if you're writing Mystery Fiction or another story where the plot revolves around a revelation - if the point ot the plot is for something to be unveiled, then unveiling it early defeats the point of the plot for the viewer. Even if you aren't writing a Mystery story, sometimes keeping something veiled to the audience can be the whole point of a certain element. You don't need to write stories or elements like this, but if you do write them, then it should go without saying that you don't spoil them!
- This tip introduces a recurring problem in Lily's tips: they're too general, when the things she's discussing are dependent on the type of story being written. Lily will often say things like "[x] is always good/bad". While some things are just bad writing, more often than not it's only bad writing based on what kind of work you're writing. I'll use this tip as an example: maybe you're writing a story with a romantic subplot, or where romance is part of the characters growth, in which case I would agree to not wait till the end to pair them together. However if the whole point of the series is getting these two together, having the resolution in the middle of the show will just leave you with a whole lot of nothing to do for the rest of the show.
- Similar to the above point. Sometimes enemies to lovers works. Other times it doesn't. See, #2.
- This one seems more addressed to fandoms than to writers, since fandoms tend to be the one who use words like "redemption arc". Also, she lists Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender as an example, despite doing actual bad things in the story he was being redeemed for.
- What's the context? Is there a particular show being talked about? "Kissing in the last episode after 4-5 seasons of trying to murder each other" seems like such a specific reference. Also, eniminity isn't always the same thing as abuse.
- Agreed. But sometimes executive meddling can get in the way. If there's no executive restraints, keep your lore in official material, please!
- Jeez, I agree 10,000 is too many, but that Slut-Shaming is pretty extreme, no? That was a joke BTW - I know what she means by "body count" here. But in seriousness, this is another one of those things that depends on story context. Is it such a high-stakes world that the character killed 10,000 people by accident? Also, are they redeemable if they just kill 9,999 people?
- Agreed. Wow, I agree with Lily on something. Lolicons can bugger off.
- Agreed. Then again, teens quite infamously tend to be horny. You can depict that fact, just don't secualize the teens themselves.
- Agreed. Lolicons, bugger off.
- Generally agreed, but this is one of those things that depends on the story.
- This is the first of the "Stereotype = huge turd" tips - basically "If your only character of [x] demographic is [y] stereotype, you're a huge turd". While Lily is awfully harsh here, I agree that writin characters who are one-dimensional stereotypes generally isn't good writing. However, reading some of those stereotypes, you have to wonder who has used these stereotypes in media over the past 5-7 years.
- See, #15.
- See, #15.
- See, #15.
- See, #15.
- See, #15.
- See, #15.
- See, #15.
- I agree that sidlining all your characters (regardless of race), just to make room for some edgelord (regardless of race), isn't good writing.
- Slightly less of a huge turd. Neat!
- Agreed. Don't try to be someone else. Write your own story.
- friends vs anime
- perspective flips
- mary sue
- goblins
- Irony!
- Irony!
CATALOGUE:
- x "Actually Decent Advice" points: ()
- x "Preaching To The Choir" points: ()
- x "Overgeneralizing" points: ()
- x "Thinly-Veiled Complaining" points: ()
- x "Lawful Evil Logic" points: ()
- x "Anti-Sex" points: ()
- x "Prog Politics" points: ()
- x "Not How The World Works" points: ()
- x "Sterile Story" points: ()
- x "Literally Just Horrible Advice" points: ()
- x "Misc." points: ()
To see other commentaries on this, see:
- Hosted on YouTube:
- Hosted on Tumblr:
- Hosted on DeviantArt:
