Charlie and Alan meet several women while attending one of Jake's soccer games. Original airdate, October 20, 2003.
Tropes:
- All Men Are Perverts: When Charlie says that he made a playdate for him and Jake with one of Jake's friends mom's Kate, Alan immediately figures out that Charlie only arranged the playdate so that he could hit on the mother.
- All Women Are Lustful: The divorced soccer moms at least. The first thing Gloria does after dropping off the kids soccer team is preposition herself to Charlie. When he is unable to reciprocate her offer, Gloria gives him her number and email and then sets her sights on his brother Alan.
- Birds of a Feather: Kate and Charlie both bond over their kids, their hate for not keeping score kids soccer games and how everyone warned them to stay away from each other.
- Cheating with the Milkman: During the brief argument between Kate and her ex-husband Bill, he remarks that Kate got to meet his girlfriend. Kate fires back, "What meet? She was our babysitter!".
- Chewing the Scenery: Alan chews up the scenery in the end when he finally gets fed up with the "no keeping score" rule during the kid's soccer games and calls out everyone on the bleachers for it. Much to everyone's confusion.
- Destructo-Nookie: Charlie assumes this has happened to Alan when he sees his broken nose.
- Even the Guys Want Him: Charlie finds the phone number of the guy who owns the tuxedo shop in his pocket, following his drunken night in Las Vegas.
- Girl of the Week: Kate for Charlie. Gloria and Brooke for Alan.
- Gossipy Hens: Gloria and her friend ask Charlie if the rumors that Judith left Alan for another woman are true. Charlie asks the women why don't they ask Judith. They tell him that they don't want to pry into her life.
- Irony: The episode ends with Alan angrily swearing at the viewers for not keeping scores of the match, and claiming that they will one day definitely have a newsletter. Charlie on the other hand, has adjusted to getting up early and being present at Jake’s games.
- Love Triangle: Gloria and her friend both fight over Alan. Unfortunately, neither get a chance to sleep with him when they accidentally break his nose.
- The Missus and the Ex: An awkward example in which Charlie meets Kate's jealous ex husband Bill and is mocked by him.
- Noodle Incident: Charlie done something under the influence of alcohol when he went out the night before to return a video, ran into a old friend who was getting married at the Belagio and came home in a tuxedo.Charlie: (noticing he's wearing a tuxedo) No I think this was meant for something else entirely...Alan: Well, I'm sure I'll read about it in the paper.
- Oblivious to Love: Alan is completely oblivious to the divorced soccer mom's trying to seduce him.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Alan delivers one to all the soccer parents sitting on the bleachers.Alan: Oh come on! Somebody always loses! (Stands up, yells to everyone on the bleachers) Who are we kidding?! It's 8 to 1 out there, and everybody here knows it! And you know what, let me tell you something! We haven't won a game all season! And I'll put that in the newsletter! And as God as my witness...THERE WILL BE A NEWSLETTER!Jake: Dad, you're kinda freaking everybody out here.
- Shout-Out: On a date, Charlie humorously compares him and Kate's forbidden date to Romeo and Juliet.
- At the end, Charlie tells Jake "Forget it, Jake. It's Sherman Oaks." with Alan's facial bandages from a broken nose resembling Jake Gittes.
- What Did I Do Last Night?: The episode starts with a hungover Charlie coming home from returning a video the night before and questioning why he came home in a tuxedo after a friend's wedding at the bellagio.
