Episode - 9F11\\
First Aired - 1/21/1993


'''Selma's Choice''' is the 13th episode of the fourth season of ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''.

Selma once again must find a man so she can raise a family and not die alone like her recently-deceased aunt Gladys, but when Homer falls ill due to a rotten hoagie and Selma volunteers to take Bart and Lisa to Duff Gardens, she soon realizes that she has little to no motherly skills or instinct.

It marks the first appearance of Jub-Jub the iguana.

!!This episode contains examples of:
* AmusementParkOfDoom: Duff Gardens is a subversion. The worst the park has is roaming gangs (Dolph, Jimbo, and Kearney, who are shown getting arrested as part of a commercial, but later steal three bumper cars and ride them off into the sunset) and unprofessional/incompetent workers (Surly, the Barrel Roll coaster operators, the "Complaints" line lady who tells a customer to "get bent," and the "doctor" who gave Lisa a handful of pills). The real danger comes from Bart wreaking havoc (by pulling down the George Washington robot's pants and getting stuck on a roller coaster) and Lisa getting high on the tainted water in the "Little Land of Duff" ride.
* AsLongAsItSoundsForeign: The man on the ham radio is actually speaking foreign-sounding gibberish.
* AttentionDeficitOohShiny: Homer loses interest during Aunt Gladys's {{video will|s}} by fast-forwarding to the end of Great Aunt Gladys' reading of Robert Frost's poetry, much to Marge's annoyance (however, Jackie, Patty, Selma, Bart, and Lisa want Homer to skip over it).
* BeerGoggles: When Bart tries on the beer goggles and looks at [[http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/e/e0/Beer_Goggles.png/revision/latest?cb=20151004040949 Selma]], she's gotten [[http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/4/44/Beer_Goggles_3.png/revision/latest?cb=20151004041319 prettier and sexier and sweeter]].
* BlackComedy:
** Bart tricking Lisa into thinking Great Aunt Gladys is alive.
** One of the Moleman kids falling out the window (in the fantasy of what Selma's life will be like as Hans Moleman's wife), followed by a long, chilling silence before it goes back to reality.
* {{Bowdlerisation}}: In-universe, Music/LouReed's "Walk on the Wild Side" from ''Music/{{Transformer}}'' (filled with many references to prostitution, racism, transsexuality, and drug abuse) is performed by Hooray for Everything at Duff Gardens. In keeping with the group's "clean-shaven sounds", the lyric "And the colored girls go" is changed to "And all the races sing."
* {{CallBack}}:
** One of the movies Marge rents for a sick Homer is ''The Erotic Adventures of Hercules'', starring Troy [=McClure=] as Hercules and Norman Fell[[note]]Mr. Roper from ''Series/ThreesCompany''[[/note]] as Zeus. ''The Erotic Adventures of Hercules'' was first mentioned in the episode [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS4E9MrPlow "Mr. Plow"]], during ''Carnival of the Stars''.
** Selma continues her search to find a man and have a baby out of fear of dying alone, as seen in [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS2E14PrincipalCharming "Principal Charming"]] and [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS3E21BlackWidower "Black Widower"]].
* ChekhovsGag: Jub-Jub is introduced early as a seemingly random joke to indicate Gladys' unusual choice of pet. He's adopted by Selma at the end, after she realizes she's just not cut out for children.
* ColorFailure: Lisa turns pale under the effects of the water she drinks at the Little Land of Duff.
* ComicallyMissingThePoint: Selma questions Homer's success at raising his children by asking "How do you do it?". Homer responds by explaining how to turn a bedsheet into a toga.
** Homer thinking artificial insemination is having sex with a robot. When Marge whispers what it really is, Homer says, "I knew that."
* ContinuityNod: In ''[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS26E3TreehouseOfHorrorXXV Treehouse Of Horror XXV]]''
* {{Determinator}}: Spoofed. Even with his severe food poisoning, Homer is determined to get to Duff Gardens. He doesn't make it past the driver's seat of his car.
* DidIJustSayThatOutLoud: When Selma says that Gladys's legend will live on, Homer thinks to himself, "Yeah, the legend of the dog-faced woman." He then repeats the phrase aloud in amusement, leading to a scolding from Marge.
* {{Edutainment}}: Selma assumes the ''Beer Hall of Presidents'' is this (it's actually a thinly-disguised ad for Duff Beer) and insists the kids have to sit through the whole thing: "Settle down. Anything this bad has to be educational!"
* EveryoneHasStandards:
** Even Groundskeeper Willie, a brash, slovenly school janitor who has seen his share of disgusting moments in school (mostly bathroom accidents and Wendell the pale kid puking), thinks Selma's dating video of her doing the cherry stem knot trick on a lit cigarette is revolting ("Back to the loch with you, Nessie!")
** Homer, for all his hatred for Marge's sisters, is actually civil to them in this episode (barring the "Legend of the Dogfaced Woman" crack and fast-forwarding the video will). He doesn't snark back when Patty tells Selma to "close your eyes and think of [=MacGyver=]" when Homer hugs them and Homer feels bad for Selma not being able to handle the kids during the trip to Duff Gardens, even taking her hand without her showing any negative reaction.
* TheFoodPoisoningIncident: Homer falls ill from eating a sub that's decayed far beyond the point of edibility, leaving him in absolutely no condition to even walk a short distance down the street, let alone drive. This forces Marge to nurse him back to health and ask Selma to take Bart and Lisa to Duff Gardens.
* ForgingTheWill: Lionel Hutz edits Gladys' video will to make her say she's leaving him $50,000. Everyone sees through the ruse because Hutz didn't disguise his voice. It's not the first time he tries to pull that sort of scam.
-->'''Lionel Hutz:''' You'd be surprised how often that works, you really would!
* TheFunInFuneral: The funeral home actually has a sign that reads, "The Lucky Stiff Funeral Home We Put the 'Fun' in Funeral". Bart also scares Lisa into thinking that Aunt Gladys' corpse is still talking.
* GenerationXerox: The babies that all look and belch like Barney Gumble, and the Hans Moleman kids (who are all blind and ugly) in Selma's ImagineSpot of life as Mrs. Hans Moleman.
* GettingCrapPastTheRadar
** The slogan for the sperm bank is, "Put Your Sperm in Our Hands."
** Lisa's hallucinations after drinking the water are clearly a bad hallucinogenic drug trip. This is actually very daring considering this is an eight-year-old girl we're talking about. Later when the park administrators hand out some pills to cure Lisa, Selma tells the man, "Thank you, Doctor," to which he dismissingly answers, "Oh, I'm not a doctor."
* HoistByHisOwnPetard: The psychic trying to con Selma into buying a fake love potion fails as a consequence of ingesting her own truth serum.
* HostileAnimatronics: Animatronic George Washington becomes one briefly after Bart shorts him out by pantsing him.
* IAteWhat: The rotten hoagie that Homer took home from a nuclear plant picnic, though it's subverted in that Homer knew what he was eating, but he kept it for so long, it began to turn purple and grow fungus on it (and he ''still'' ate it despite that and his obvious illness). This was based on an actual sandwich that one of the writers ate that did go bad overtime, though it never turned purple in real life.
* ImGoingToDisneyWorld:
-->'''Announcer:''' Hey, Lance Murdock, you just jumped sixteen blazing school buses. What are you going to do now?\\
'''Lance:''' ''(in pain)'' I'm going to Duff Gardens!
* IwoJimaPose: Homer eats a potato chip shaped like this.
* {{Jerkass}}: Surly of the Seven Duffs. He even says so himself when he refuses to get Bart off the rollercoaster.
-->'''Surly:''' Hey, Surly only looks out for one guy: Surly.\\
'''Selma:''' Sorry, Surly.\\
'''Surly:''' Shut up.
* InheritanceBacklash: Discussed: Jackie Bouvier is ''deeply'' unsatisfied with being left Glady's pet iguana, Jub-Jub, openly saying she'd rather have gotten the bowel obstruction that killed Gladys. At the end of the episode, Patty notes that when she went round to their mother's place, Jackie was trying to stab the lizard with a hat pin.
* LadyLooksLikeADude: During funeral, the funeral home director repeatedly refers to Aunt Gladys as a man until someone finally corrects him.
-->"That's a woman?! Well, I guess most of what I said can be salvaged."
* LampshadedTheObscureReference: While the Simpsons and Bouviers are eating at a diner on the way to the funeral, Marge reminisces the time she and her sisters dove into the water and made a skydiver formation as their Aunt Gladys watched on from a pier. "Oh, wait, that was ''[[Film/ThePrinceOfTides Prince of Tides]].''"
* [[LieBackAndThinkOfEngland Lie Back And Think Of MacGyver]]: How Patty and Selma cope with Homer hugging them.
* LovePotion: Selma tries to buy one from a psychic, but the psychic accidentally ingests a truth serum after confessing that the "love potion" is made of mostly corn syrup and rubbing alcohol and that "you'll be lucky if it doesn't make your hair fall out..."
* MushroomSamba: Lisa's personal NightmareSequence after drinking the water in "The Little Land of Duff" ride.
* NeverMyFault: Homer blames the rotten sandwich for him being sick. He takes it back immediately, though, and Marge has to smack it out of his hand.
* NightmareFace: Selma's head when Lisa has a bad trip from drinking the water.
* NoodleIncident: When Bart pulls down the UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington robot's pants, [[HostileAnimatronics his eyes turn red and it looks as if he's going to attack Bart or run amok]], but it goes to the next scene before anything happens. Later when Bart is rescued from the Barrel Rollercoaster, the George Washington robot is headless and jabbering. What happened in the interim?
* OOCIsSeriousBusiness: Patty and Selma's reaction when Homer, who usually despises them, actually sympathizes with them in light of their Aunt Gladys's death and Selma not being able to care for the kids.
* OhCrap: The moment Selma says she wants a baby, Maggie wakes up and struggles to get out of the car.
* PantyShot: Lisa's panties are [[https://frinkiac.com/caption/S04E13/143125 briefly seen]] when she and Bart jump off the couch after Homer exclaims they're going to Duff Gardens at the beginning of the episode.
* PetTheDog: Homer gives Selma a hug after she expresses regret over her failures in this episode.
* PunBasedTitle: The episode title is a pun on ''Film/SophiesChoice.''
* RealityEnsues: Bart sneak onto a [[YouMustBeThisTallToRide roller coaster he's too short for]]. He soon realizes that the safety bar can't properly secure someone under the minimum height limit.
* RiddleForTheAges: What exactly ''was'' that liquid that Bart dared Lisa into drinking?
* ShoutOut:
** Duff Gardens is a double-pronged spoof. In real life, the Ride/BuschGardens theme parks (which contain a combination of wildlife exhibits and thrill rides) were still owned by a beer company when this episode was made and ran with the idea, resulting in a park where beer is the main theme. The other spoof target is obviously the Ride/DisneyThemeParks, such as ''Ride/ItsASmallWorld'' (Little Land of Duff), ''The Hall of Presidents'' (''Beer Hall of Presidents'') and the Main Street/Disneyland Electrical Parade (Duff Gardens Parade). Even the Seven Duffs are a shout out to ''Disney/SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarfs''.
** After being rescued from swimming naked in the Fermentarium, a strung-out Lisa declares herself "[[Music/TheDoors The Lizard Queen!]]"
** The potato chips that resemble celebrities include UsefulNotes/OttoVonBismarck (a conservative German statesman who dominated European affairs from the 1860s to his dismissal in 1890), Creator/MauriceChevalier (a French singer and actor), and Creator/JayLeno (an American comedian and talk show host). The one Homer eats is the famous flag-raising statue and picture from the Battle of Iwo Jima.
** The ending where Selma sings Music/ArethaFranklin's "You Make Me Feel (Like a Natural Woman)" to Jub-Jub is based on the ''Series/MurphyBrown'' episode where Murphy Brown sings this to her baby. The DVD commentary says it was an obscure reference, as ''Murphy Brown'' isn't remembered much today. In fact, except for Mike Reiss, everyone on the commentary actually forgot the reference.
* SlasherSmile: After Bart pulls down the robot George Washington's pants, the (now malfunctioning) robot gives Bart one as its eyes start [[GlowingEyesOfDoom glowing red.]]
* SmokingIsNotCool: Selma chewing up one of her cigarettes and doing the cherry-stem-knot-trick to impress men. Even Groundskeeper Willie thought it was gross.
* SouvenirLand: To avoid ProductPlacement or copyright issues the Simpsons go to a theme park that doesn't exist in our universe, but seems to be very famous in theirs.
* SpecialGuest: Creator/PhilHartman as Lionel Hutz and Troy [=McClure=]
* TakeThat: To educational shows as Selma forces the kids to sit through the ''Beer Hall of Presidents.'' "Anything this bad has to be educational."
* TimeMarchesOn: The Duff Gardens commercial shows a rollercoaster called "The Whiplash" that won't be completed until 1994...which is now over 20 years ago.
* TotallyRadical: The rapping UsefulNotes/AbrahamLincoln robot at the ''Beer Hall of Presidents'' is a spoof of this.
* UnsettlingGenderReveal: The minister is shocked when one of the ushers tells him that the man is eulogizing is, in fact, a woman. He assures that "at least most of what [he] said can be salvaged," but Patty tells him to sit down and warns him not to put the eulogy on the bill.
* TheUnSmile: Due to UncannyValley, the animatronic people in the "Little Land of Duff" ride. Bart whimpers that he wants to get off the ride, but Selma, Bart, and Lisa have to suffer through five more continents of those kid robots (at least until Lisa freaks out from drinking the toxic water and escapes with one of the robots in hand).
* VisualPun: After the funeral, the group leaves with a grandfather clock. It goes off just before Selma announces she wants a baby--meaning her biological clock is literally ticking.