Airdate: Monday, June 16, 2003
Sender: Meg, KS
Meg from "K.S." writes in to tell Strong Bad how he looked cute as a Japanese cartoon, then goes onto inform Strong Bad that he would look even more handsome with a tan. Strong Bad is quick to agree: "One thing the ladies love more than a regular Strong Bad is a lightly toasted Strong Bad." He also hopes it'll accentuates his abdominals and his... cloits.
Out in the Field, however, Strong Bad not only gets bugged by the King of Town (who steals his supplies of lard and cocoa butter), but he stays out in the sun too long and gets a sunburn. Marzipan's gentle reproach won't stop Strong Bad from showing off his "abs", with the help of a black Sharpie applied to his stomach.
Marzipan: Aren't you supposed to have pecs?
Strong Bad: Don't need 'em! That's why they call me Double A: All Abs!
While Marzipan isn't impressed, Strong Bad is inspired to market his marker as a hot new fitness tool and make himself a "thousandaire". Or at the very least a "hundredaire". What follows is a commercial for "The Ab-Abber 2000", which can purportedly help anyone "get results like the professionals in minutes, nay, seconds!", even Strong Sad:
Strong Bad: Well, Strong Sad, it means they really like you.
Strong Sad: But they don't! Especially now with all this Sharpie on my stomach.
The commercial also mentions that if viewers act now, they'll throw in the Cloitsterizer (a piece of string tacked to a wedge of cheese) for "abs-olutely free", to help you "Max out your Cloits and Dloits with the ease of a thousandaire!"
Tropes:
- Advanced Tech 2000: The Ab-Abber 2000.
- Bad "Bad Acting": Strong Sad, while helping to shill the Ab-Abber 2000, seems to be reading flatly from a teleprompter.
- Cloud Cuckoolander: An Easter Egg has Homsar show up in the advertisement to demonstrate the Ab-Abber's effectiveness. Instead of abs, he draws an adding machine reading "SALAd" on his stomach.Homsar: Aaaaaah-I'm just in time for the murder mystery!
- Comically Missing the Point: Strong Bad doesn't see the point in an even tan, because "Who wants a tan on their back? There's no abs to accentuate".
- Companion Cube: Strong Bad gets Strong Sad to do a testimonial for the Ab-Abber 2000 by holding his lobster Beanie Baby hostage.Strong Bad: Just read the lines, man. Do you want to see Gooblies again or not?
Strong Sad: You leave Gooby out of this! - Continuity Nod: Meg remarks that Strong Bad looked cute as a Japanese cartoon character.
- Fake Muscles: Strong Bad draws a fake six-pack on his round little body with a Sharpie to show off how his "tan" accentuates his "abs".
- I Need to Go Iron My Dog: The King of Town excuses himself with "I guess I'll be moving on to different smell—place."
- Noodle Implements: The "Cloitsterizer" is a length of string thumb-tacked to a wedge of Cartoon Cheese.
- Parody Commercial: The email ends with a mock commercial for the "Ab-Abber 2000", with testimonials from Strong Sad and Homsar.
- Tan Lines: Strong Bad ends up with the front half of his torso completely sunburned while his back is still pale.
