Airdate: Monday, February 13, 2006
Sender: Cephas, Cornwall CA
"Cephas Cornwall of the Corn Army" wants to know if the rich lore of Strong Badia includes any mysterious myths or legendary legends.
After a bungled first try, we cut to Strong Bad in the "idyllic fruitopia" of Strong Badia, doing a documentary on the not-true-est of not-true-ities, the Bear Holding a Shark. Legend has it that two of the seven elemental spirits of Strong Badia, the Fish Wearing a 'Fro Wig and the British Long Distance runner, combined forces to defeat the other five (the Snake, the Guy with the Big Knife, the Hand Making an 'Okay' Sign, the Board With Nails in It, and General Tso's Chicken) "in paintball, or maybe Red Rover."
Through the years the legend mutated, from "Wildernessman with Sea-Beast" to a Moose Holding a Chameleon to "the bear holding a shark we know today". "Ancient fence drawings" (actually made by Strong Bad, age 5) attribute such disasters as "destroyed crops, stolen babies, and family bike rides" to the creature. While Bubs seized an opportunity to make a mint off of "Bear-Holding-a-Shark fever" with merch like Bear Holding a Shark T-shirts, Bear Holding a Shark ice-cream bars, and Bear-Tooth Holding a Shark-Tooth necklaces, "not everyone caught the fever".
Strong Bad: ...Said the elephant-footed ghost man. And then, one day, the Bear Holding a Shark got the break all made-up creatures dream of: (the camera zooms in and becomes blurrier with each word) Blurry. Photographic. Evidence!
Apparently Homestar was walking in the woods with Pom Pom (who for some reason he refers to as his "dog" in the literal sense) when they spotted (and snapped some footage of) "a very scary monsterm'n", the Bear Holding a Shark.
(Spooky jungle music plays, The Paper comes down.)
Tropes:
- Arbitrary Skepticism: Strong Sad is a "Bear Holding a Shark Skeptic".Strong Sad: I'm sure it's just a weather balloon or a foreign exchange student. These strange beasts just aren't real!
Strong Bad: ...Said the elephant-footed ghost man. - Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Strong bad shows "ancient fence drawings" depicing the Bear Holding a Shark's involvement in "destroyed crops, stolen babies, and family bike-rides... or family pie-sitting contests."
- Continuity Nod:
- The Elemental Spirits of Strong Badia include The Guy Holding a Big Knife, the Snake from the Strong Badian flag, and General Tso's Chicken.
- Strong Bad promises "startling new evidence in the Biscuitdoughhandsman conspiracy." A related Easter egg has Coach Z in silhouette, with his voice "digitally altered again" like in "couch patch".
- Cryptid Episode: Strong Bad does a mockumentary describing the Bear Holding a Shark as a creature of mysterious myth (or possibly legendary legend) lurking in Free Country USA.
- Gossip Evolution: Apparently, the Bear Holding a Shark started as a British Long-Distance Runner holding a Fish Wearing a 'Fro Wig, which mutated into its current form "through years of bad story-telling and the telephone game."
- Literal-Minded: Homestar calls Pom Pom his "dog", but seems to be talking about Pom Pom as if he were an actual dog. ("All of a sudden, he started growlin' and poopin' all over the place!")
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: Homestar didn't film any old monster, it was "A very. Scary. Monsterm'n."
- Shout-Out:
- An Easter egg shows a fake ad-bug for a special called Walking With Trogdor.
- The "blurry photographic evidence" of the Bear Holding a Shark references the famous Patterson-Gimlin video of Bigfoot.
- Threatening Shark: The Bear Holding a Shark, because just being a bear is not menacing enough.
Coach Z: (with a digitally altered voice) So there I was, minding my own creepy business, when I found this severed hand in the lacker room! (holds up a biscuit with a bite taken out)
Strong Bad: So this is supposed to be the Bear Holding a Shark? Looks more like... Morgan Freeman.
Bubs: Oh, right! That's what it is! Now gimme twenty extra bucks for that Shawshank style!
