Baby Sprinkle
Jazz Music plays softly at Rose Apothecary as David arranges products. A very pregnant Jocelyn, dressed in her pajamas and bathrobe, arrives. She tells David she’s throwing her own baby shower and proceeds to manipulate David into offering to help. The shower is that night, at Jocelyn’s house. As she leaves, David wonders “What just happened?”
Alexis is the cafe counter talking to Twyla about an event for Singles Week, which Twyla helps her refine. As Alexis takes credit for Twyla’s idea, a young woman in sunglasses and a big floppy hat comes into the cafe with her Girl Posse. She recognizes Alexis, and Alexis recognizes her as Klair. Klair explains that she and her friends, Albany, Jitney, and Canyon, read a list of the most random spots in North American on Vice and decided to hit them. Klair proceeds to be completely obnoxious and difficult to Twyla, and Klair says she needs to get Alexis out of there. They agree to meet for drinks later.
Johnny and Moira meet with a woman that runs a dating service for older singles, hoping to book the woman’s services for Singles Week. She insists that Johnny and Moira try her lock and key matchmaking event, not believing that they are married.
Patrick returns to the store, and he finds David ordering something for the baby shower. Patrick questions David, and David has been ordering up a storm. David has assumed Jocelyn has a budget, while Patrick points out that normally the person throwing the shower usually pays for everything. David is incensed, pointing out this isn’t even her first baby. Patrick replies that it’s then more of a sprinkle. David asks what a sprinkle is, and Patrick explains that it’s like a shower but for your second kid. David exclaims that is the stupidest thing he’s ever heard. Patrick also points out that booze and fish, which David has ordered, is probably not ideal for a pregnant woman. David ends up declaring this why he hates babies.
Alexis finds Klair and her posse taking photos in front of the motel. She is relieved to find out they are not staying there. Klair offers Alexis a job, but she has to fire Albany first. It’s a junior PR position. She even offers Alexis a place to stay at her dad’s apartment, they’d just have to share with Klair’s dad’s ex-wife who is two years younger than them. Alexis is overwhelmed.
An elderly gentleman is hitting on Moira at the lock and key event, and she is having none of it. She does see Johnny talking to an attractive dark-haired woman and is not happy.
David and Patrick arrive at the Schitt House to find Jocelyn has started decorating. David recoils and condescendingly explains he has creative control and tells Patrick they are going to need to drop cloth the whole place. Roland arrives with an ugly baby piñata that the dollar store gave him for free, horrifying David. He becomes more horrified when Roland and Jocelyn explain the diaper game to him. He promises to come up with games. Patrick tries to calm the situation by telling Jocelyn to change, but she already has. Roland hands the baby piñata to David. Jocelyn wonders if this was a mistake, and Patrick says they are here now.
A very handsome man approaches Moira and chats her up. Johnny approaches, the man’s key gets stuck in Moira’s lock. Johnny and Moira decide to leave.
Alexis looks at Klair’s business card and then says she’s heading out. She looks around the empty motel rooms. Outside, she finds a delivery of the business cards for her own PR firm.
At the Baby Sprinkle, a crowd has arrived. David is explaining the rules of a game called Sleepy Mommy. They are tossing mints into Jocelyn’s mouth, pretending they are benzos. Johnny and Roland begin to play. Moira asks David why the game feels familiar, and David says she invented it. Patrick compliments David on the game, and everyone has fun.
Alexis arrives at the bar, and she tells an indifferent Klair that she doesn’t want the job. Klair offers to buy drinks for Alexis, and Alexis says she has to go to another thing. Klair says it’s been too long and they can’t let this happen again. Alexis smiles and says it won’t, as she leaves, presumably to the Baby Sprinkle.
Tropes that Appear in this Episode
- Alpha Bitch: Klair is this, even though it is long past high school.
- Rich Boredom: Klair and her three travelling companions are this to a tee; they "had to get away from the city for a while" and are looking for "random" locations, with Klair all the while complaining vacuously about the pettiest matters.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: David does a really good job on the Baby Sprinkle.
- I Choose to Stay: Alexis decides to stay in Schitt's Creek, even though Klair offers her an opportunity to leave.
- Foil: Alexis sees Klair's obnoxious behavior as a reflection of her former self.
- Girl Posse: Klair is surrounded by sycophants, including her best friend Albany, whom she hates.
- Green-Eyed Monster: Johnny and Moira have trouble seeing each other flirting with other people at the singles event.
- Happily Married: Johnny and Moira still love each other, enough to be jealous of the other participants in the lock and key game, but they still leave together.
- Innocently Insensitive: Patrick accidentally insults Jocelyn.
- One-Shot Character: Klair, played by Meaghan Rath, makes only one appearance but it is very memorable.
- Passive-Aggressive Kombat: Jocelyn needs David's help, and she's willing to manipulate him to get it.
- Perpetual Smiler: Joceyln smiles through her stress.
- Rich Bitch: Klair; she asks Twyla for a cup of warm water that she "knows was once hot" yet denies that she ordered it when Twyla hands it to her, constantly berates and backstabs her "friend" Albany for inane reasons (plus during Albany's Birthday celebration, no less), and constantly complains. Alexis sees her former self in Klair and clearly does not want to become that again.
- Running Gag: Jocelyn manipulates David into throwing a baby shower for her, without paying for it.
- Spoiled Brat: Klair and her friends, but especially Klair and her unreasonable requests and her flagrant cruelty toward her "friend", Albany. Alexis sees in Klair what she herself used to be and she wants to escape that.
