Season 1, Episode 2
The Drip
Johnny is awoken by a drip from the ceiling, which has soaked his hair. Moria remains dry and complains she just cried herself to sleep. Johnny declares the motel a dump and a hell hole, and he wakes up David and Alexis to tell them they are getting out. He declares they will sell the place. David tells him that it is 6am. Johnny wants to know the name of the “mouthy kid” at the front desk, and David says he doesn’t know. He also mocks his father’s nightshirt.
Later, Johnny is dressed and presses the broken bell in the lobby for service. Stevie tells him its more or less decorative. He tells her there is sewage leaking on his bed, and she asks if he wants her to call a plumber. He tells her she should already be on the phone. She tries to get the plumber on the phone but says he’s a good guy but a big drinker. Johnny also asks for the name of a real estate agent, and she gets the card of a guy named Ray. She says he’s the best one, also the only one. Johnny then tries to order breakfast, and Stevie explains that due to a lack of “everything” that is not possible.
Alexis is in bed, looking at a post about Stavros’s new paramour. Moira joins David in bed and demands a massage, which David gives her after she promises him something from her accessory case. Alexis continues to complain about the woman Stavros is with, and David keeps telling her that he dates hookers. Alexis retorts that at least she doesn’t hire her friends at model castings. Moira tries to give them a pep talk, and David takes his journal into the bathroom.
Johnny and Moira meet Ray at the cafe, and Johnny says they want to sell the town for what they paid for it, hopefully more, but not less. Ray is not optimistic. Ray tells them that Roland needs to sign off on the contract.
David is putting his sheets on a clothesline and tells Stevie he doesn’t think they have been cleaned because they smell like cigarettes. She says that’s how they smell, and she says she couldn’t get a hold of the plumber so she put a bucket under the drip. David and Stevie banter about the town, and she invites him to a tailgate party. David passes because he doesn’t want to “be the victim of a hate crime.” Alexis comes with more pictures of Stavros and naked women. Alexis asks if there was a bar in town, and Stevie tells her about the tailgate party. Alexis delightedly says she “loves that journey for me” and wants to meet a hunky working class guy. She thanks Stevie, and Stevie says she’s looking forward to it while she smirks at David.
Johnny is at Roland’s house, asking Roland for a signature. Roland won’t sign until Johnny brings his family over for dinner. Johnny tries to get out of it, but Roland insists.
Moira can’t believe Johnny didn’t get the contract signed, and Johnny says Roland is playing games. Alexis says she can’t go to dinner with Roland because she’s going to a party with the front desk girl. Johnny then says that David can come, and he’s miffed that Johnny assumed he had nothing on. Moira suggests Johnny go alone. Johnny says business is a dance, and sometimes you lead and sometimes you follow. Johnny sees the bucket with water, and David says the plumber is in rehab.
Jocelyn Schitt, Roland’s attractive and friendly wife, welcomes Johnny, Moira and David to dinner. Moira and David sarcastically compliment her decor, and she says she gets a lot of her ideas from magazines. Roland appears and tells them to sit. Jocelyn serves a cheese ball, which she declares an aphrodisiac, and sits in Roland’s lap. She asks David about being a gallerist. David tries to avoid talking about it, but then says that his gallery worked with Janet Kempflugen, a Brooklyn performance artist who would breast feed her audience.
Alexis and Stevie arrive at the tailgate party, and she’s telling Stevie she wishes she could pull off the whole no makeup, gloomy look. She asks Stevie why she’s single and says they are on the hunt. Stevie says in a town this size, you’ve been through them or know too much about them. Alexis does a lap, and Stevie asks for a beer.
Roland has his hand in the fondue, looking for bread he dropped. Johnny tries to tell a business anecdote, and David feigns a migraine. Johnny tries to stop him from leaving and Moira tries to go with him. When David is gone, Moira looks for the vodka she brought as a housewarming gift.
David arrives at the tailgate party and meets a drunken Twyla. Stevie comes over and Twyla leaves. Stevie teases him that he fits right in. David claims he came because Alexis texted him for help. Stevie replies that Alexis texted ‘’her’’ that she expected David to show up because was bored and lonely. David says his sister is a broken shell of a human being, but Stevie points out a smiling Alexis taking selfies with good looking townies. David says he needs a stiff drink.
Moira asks if Jocelyn if she teaches high school or is finishing high school. Jocelyn says she’s a teacher and proceeds to explicitly and cheerfully describe her students checking her out. Roland recognizes the Vivienne Blake “bitch face” from Sunrise Bay. Jocelyn says that Roland loved Vienne Blake, and Roland confirms and asks how many slaps she delivered. Roland suggestively suggests that he’ll sign the contract for a slap. Moira resists at first but then slaps him.
Alexis tells the townies she’s starting to smell like campfire and leaves them. Stevie tells David his choices for a drink are beer and beer. Alexis asks how dinner was and tells David that there are no guys for her here as Stevie sets David up with a beer bong. Alexis tells him to come get her after he vomits.
Alexis then spies a good-looking, bearded young man with a ripped chest. She kisses him and takes a selfie and the partygoers chant “chug” at David. Alexis asks David if he’s ready, and David horrified and finished drinking nods. They leave.
Roland signs the contract. He tells Johnny that this is his town, and Johnny will play by his rules. He then laughs and says he’s kidding. Johnny and Moira say sarcastic goodbyes, and Roland informs them that it took a very long time - as in 20 years - for the town to sell when Johnny bought it.
Later at the motel, Johnny reads the contract, and Moira is worried they will be there for 20 years. Johnny says that if they have to fix up the town before they sell it, they’ll do it. He says they are Roses, but then David and Alexis tell him to keep his voice down. Johnny says he feels good about this, as the drip drips on the contract.
Snarkiest Person in Schitt’s Creek: Stevie Budd
Tropes That Appear In This Episode:
- 24-Hour Party People: A bunch of people are at the tailgate party that we never see again.
- Aborted Arc: Johnny's attempt to fix up and sell the town seems like it's going to be a major storyline, but the improvements the Roses make in the town happen in the background and gradually.
- Ambiguously Gay: David says he fears being the victim of a hate crime but is non-specific about why.
- Daytime Drama Queen: Roland loved watching Sunrise Bay.
- Hipster: The first reference to David's career as a hipster New York gallerist is made in this episode, specifically an avant-garde performance artist he represented.
- Friendless Background: Alexis mentions that David had to cast his friends through a modeling agency and that they had abandoned him after he lost his money, the first implication that David wasn’t as hip as he tried to be.
- Hot for Student: Jocelyn is weirdly interested in how much her male students check her out, much to Roland’s annoyance.
- Lovable Alpha Bitch: Alexis may be a shallow party girl, but she’s quite nice to Stevie and unlike the rest of her family is only mildly judgmental toward the townies.
- Meet Cute: Alexis takes a kiss selfie with Mutt the moment they meet.
- Soap Within a Show; This is the first time we hear about Moira’s career as an actress, playing Vivienne Blake on the soap Sunrise Bay.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: This is the first of many times Mutt will appear without his shirt.
- Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Jocelyn is far more attractive than the rude, crude Roland
- What Does She See in Him?: Jocelyn is inexplicably very attracted to her husband, even so far as being mildly jealous of Roland's crush on Moira's soap character.
