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Recap / SWAT Kats S1E8: "Chaos in Crystal"

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"I've had enough of you SWAT Gnats!"
Act I
The SWAT Kats are testing some new missiles in the desert, using attack drones a stargets. The Slicer Missiles perform well, cutting three remote controlled tanks to bits, but the Banshee Missiles, which emit a high-pitched shriek capable of breaking targets apart, suffer a malfunction in their guidance system. Razor is forced to destroy the remaining drones "the old-fashioned way," using regular missiles ("From Razor With Love!").

Elsewhere, Callie Briggs accompanies Mayor Manx on his inspection of Megakat Maximum Security Prison, which they learn from Warden Cyrus Meece (Jim Cummings) pays for its own upkeep with a comprehensive work program. Inmates mine the nearby mountains for diamonds, which Meece uses to fund the prison. To speed up production, he's hired geological technician Dr. Leiter Greenbox (Robert Patrick). Greenbox, who works for Gemkat Labs, has designed a laser-powered diamond-mining machine called the Gemkat 6000.

Convict Rex Shard (John Vernon) is chosen to test it, overseen by guards Talon (Charlie Adler) and Lem (John Rubinow). But an accident with the device causes it to explode, turning the entire right side of Shard's body into living crystal, and granting him the ability to turn whatever he touches into (non-living) crystal, including people; when he does it to Talon and Lem, the guards are "frozen" as lifeless crystal "statues."

Back at the prison, Manx departs to attend a golf tournament. Callie remains behind to help Meece and Greenbox get to the bottom of why they can't reach the guards overseeing Shard. Intent on revenge against Meece and Greenbox, who he blames for his condition, Shard, transforming fully into a being made of living crystal, returns to the prison and smashes his way in.

Meece manages to call Commander Feral before Shard turns him to crystal. Before Callie and Dr. Greenbox can meet the same fate, the SWAT Kats arrive, knocking Shard into Meece's private diamond vault. Contact with the gems causes Shard to grow fifty feet tall, and a startled Greenbox accidentally knocks over and smashes the crystallized Warden Meece.

Act II


Shard challenges the SWAT Kats, believing he is now invincible. Razor's efforts to kill him using Slicer Missiles fail as they simply smash apart across Shard's chest. Commander Feral arrives with a corps of Enforcer Peacekeepers, but these too fail to put a dent in the crystalline giant, who turns one tank to crystal, hurling it into the prison, and pins Feral's tank to the ground using shards he forms and throws with his hands. One of these pierces the Turbokat's wing, forcing T-Bone to try and fly back to the hangar to repair the aircraft.

Dr. Greenbox tells Callie he thinks he can reverse Shard's condition, so they take his Jeep and drive back to Gemkat Labs. Shard, still intent on getting back at the scientist, pursues them. He passes through the golf course at the town of Megakat Springs, where Manx's tournament is being held. Feral arrives, having radioed for a helicopter, and the Enforcers shoot at Shard some more, until he turns the entire golf course to crystal along with everyone on it - including Mayor Manx who attempts to escape in his golf cart. Only Feral survives because he's in his chopper, as do Ann Gora, who was covering the tournament, along with cameraman Jonny (Charlie Adler, giving Jonny his first vocalizations) and Al the pilot.

Due to the damage to the jet, T-Bone is unable to return to the hangar, crashlanding in the desert. He gets a call from Callie, who says she's at Gemkat Labs. Greenbox is rewiring the original, smaller prototype of the Gemkat 6000 in the hopes that it'll reverse what Shard has done. Leaving Razor to repair the Turbokat, T-Bone drives over to Gemkat Labs on the Sandkat, a version of the Cyclotron with treads instead of wheels. Shard appears and turns Dr. Greenbox to crystal before he can finish rewiring the device, but T-Bone and Callie manage to escape on the Sandkat.

Act III


Shard's next target is Megakat Dam. If he turns the reservoir to crystal, it'll choke off Megakat City's water supply. T-Bone and Callie return to where Razor has finished removing the shard from the Turbokat's wing and repairing the damage. He manages to finish rewiring the Gemkat 6000, and he and T-Bone fly off in pursuit of Shard. Although they intend to leave Callie behind with the Sandkat and out of harm's way, she manages to flag down the passing Kat's Eye News chopper.

At the dam, the SWAT Kats' first attempt to use the rewired Gemkat 6000 fails; Shard's enormous size means he has too many layers of protective crystal "skin." He dips his hand in the reservoir, turning all the water to crystal and seemingly dooming Megakat City. The news chopper arrives on the scene, with Callie having hitched a ride. Shard discovers that he can also fire laser beams from his hands, using one of these to shoot off the news chopper's rotor blades, although Al manages to land safely on the surface of the crystallized reservoir, and everyone aboard survives.

Since Shard is made of crystal, Razor tries to use the Banshee Missile against him, hoping to break him. Although at first it seems to work, their faulty guidance system allows Shard to grab and crush them, so T-Bone instead uses a Mach 5 sonic boom against the crystalline giant, shattering his many layers of crystal, returning him to normal size. Now a blast from the rewired Gemkat 6000 turns the defeated villain back into an ordinary kat, and also reverses everything and everyone he turned to crystal - Dr. Greenbox, Mayor Manx, Talon and Lem are all restored and survive because they weren't shattered like Meece.

Feral arrives with his men and takes Shard into custody, as T-Bone and Razor joke about "pickin' up some girls"; because Al landed on the surface of the water when it was crystallized, he, Jonny and most importantly Callie and Ann are stuck in the news helicopter, which is floating on its pontoons, and the SWAT Kats tow it using the Turbokat's Sky Claw.


This episode contains examples of:

  • Cool Bike: The Sandkat.
  • Crystalline Creature: Rex Shard's misuse of a gem extractor in the prison mine turns exactly half his body into greenish crystal. Shard can thereafter crystalize anyone or anything he touches, and when he breaches the prison's wall his whole body converts to living crystal that's impervious to most weapons.

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