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Recap / Runescape Another Slice Of HAM

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The dwarves and the cave goblins are building a railway line from Dorgesh-Kaan. It'll be a great advancement! However, they can't continue it yet because they've found some ancient Dorgeshuun artifacts in the way, and the modern Dorgeshuun want to study them. If you've completed The Dig Site and thus have archaeological qualifications, they'll let you help. When you do, you find some broken armor and weaponry, a hatchet head, and an intact mace with strange symbols on it. Nobody knows what it is, so they'll ask you and Zanik to go find out the mace's origins from the Goblin Generals.

The Generals will identify it as a Bandosian mace which disrupts Prayers, which Zanik is not too enthused about. The goblins are suspicious of Zanik, since she doesn't look or act much like a goblin, but their assistant Grubfoot will interrupt and say that he had a vision- Zanik is not only a goblin, she's the Chosen Commander. They decide to let her speak to the village, but before she can finish her speech, H.A.M. interrupts. A ranger and a mage at the top of the gate tower fire on the goblins, who scatter into buildings. It's up to you to get up to the wall where they're hiding and kill them (without using melee since they're behind some boxes).

Zanik, meanwhile, fights Sigmund, who kidnaps her. He's going back to the classics for this plan- he's going to tie a fair maiden to the railroad tracks. More specifically, he's going to incite a diplomatic incident by having the Keldagrim train run over Zanik, setting the cave goblins and dwarves against each other. The generals don't want the Chosen Commander to die, so they send two of their best warriors to help you rescue her.

Sneak through the Lumbridge Swamp caves to find Sigmund, and fight him. You won't be able to damage him at first because of his protection prayers, but the Ancient Mace has this handy disable-all-prayers ability that will take care of that issue, after which you can kick his ass at your leisure. He'll teleport away again at low health (just how many Rings of Life does he have, anyway?), leaving you free to rescue Zanik, just in the nick of time as a train thunders past.

You've saved the day again, the rail line is open, and the Dorgeshuun and the Dwarves are on good terms. Zanik is physically fine, but now that she knows what her destiny is supposed to be she's not sure if she wants it...

Tropes

  • Badass in Distress: Zanik.
  • The Chosen One: Zanik, it turns out. Unfortunately, she's a pacifist Dorgeshuun chosen by the Big High War God.
  • Dastardly Whiplash: Sigmund. Tying Zanik to railroad tracks, gloating about his plans to both you and her... really, the only thing he's missing is the handlebar mustache.
  • Let's You and Him Fight: Sigmund's plan with having the Keldagrim train run over Zanik. He hates all non-humans, so having the dwarves and goblins fight is a win-win for him.
  • Villain: Exit, Stage Left: Sigmund's ring of life comes in handy once again.
  • What Measure Is a Non-Human?: Sigmund boasts that he's been training his combat on the goblins outside Lumbridge. Zanik, a goblin herself, calls him a murderer for it.

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