Title: Mr. Neutron
Original Airdate: 28/11/1974
At the opening of a new postbox, Mr. Neutron appears! He seems content to discuss local gossip with the folks, though the narration insists he could destroy the world at any moment. But in Washington DC the General is in a panic because Mr. Neutron is missing. After issuing many alerts and scaring everyone, the General decides to outsmart Mr. Neutron with the help of a man named Teddy Salad. An agent named Carpenter is dispatched to Canada to find Mr. Salad, only to discover he's disguised himself as a dog. Unfortunately Mr. Salad refuses to divulge any information no matter how much he's asked.
In desperation the world powers bomb everywhere, but they always miss Mr. Neutron. Mr. Neutron meanwhile asks a Mrs. S.C.U.M. to become his assistant and help him take over the world. Just as Mrs. S.C.U.M. agrees, the world powers finally bomb London. Did Mr. Neutron escape? According to a man from the "Radio Times" he did, and there is a very expensive showdown which cost the BBC a ton of money which will be shown right after the end credits. It's not, to the man's frustration.
Tropes:
- The Cameo: Douglas Adams, who was a friend of Graham Chapman's at the time, makes a brief appearance as a Pepperpot putting some iron scrap onto the collector's cart at the beginning.
- General Ripper: Michael Palin's General, who orders the bombings of random cities and towns (as well as the Gobi Desert and his own office) in effort to take down Mr. Neutron.
- Godzilla Threshold: When Mr. Neutron goes missing, it is treated like this by the U.S. Army, specifically F.E.E.B.L.E. and F.E.A.R.
- He Who Fights Monsters: In their effort to take down the (alledgedly) destructive Mr. Neutron, the Great Powers apparently end up bombing every location on Earth.
- Informed Ability:
- Mr. Neutron is supposed to be the most powerful man in the universe, but the only super power we actually see on screen is transforming Mrs. S.C.U.M.'s outfit; otherwise he is seen doing totally mundane things like gardening and hanging wallpaper in a non-super powered way. The entire sketch becomes this when it reaches a cliffhanger, and an announcer tells us about how expensive and special effects filled the ending is, only for the show to end without showing any of these scenes.
- Inverted with Teddy Salad, an ex-CIA agent whose claim to fame is disguise, and is the only man able to find Neutron; when we meet him, he is disguised as a sled dog, and he knows exactly where Neutron is.
- Master of Disguise: Parodied with Teddy Salad, who is disguised as a sled dog (played onscreen by an actual dog).
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: In trying to stop Mr. Neutron from destroying the world, the world forces end up bombing a large part of it.
- No Ending: A man from the "Radio Times" insists that the ending of the episode is thrilling and spectacular, costing the BBC millions of pounds to produce... and it will air right after the closing credits. It doesn't.
- Overt Operative: Played with Teddy Salad, a retired CIA agent who now breeds rabbits in the Yukon. When his services are needed, Captain Carpenter goes to the Yukon believing Salad would've maintained the secrecy of his old job, and says Teddy Salad is a ballet organizer (or a hen teaser), which confuses everyone as the only Teddy Salad they know of is the CIA man.
- Person of Mass Destruction: Mr. Neutron is stated to be the most powerful man in the universe. However, we never see him destroy much of anything; indeed, the government forces trying to stop him end up doing more damage than he does.
- Running Gag: The first time we see the General, he smells something and tries to find out where the smell is coming from. Every time the camera cuts back to him, he's in various states of undress and surrounded by more and more bottles of cologne, as he tries to stop the mysterious odor.
- Saw a Woman in Half: "Conjuring Today" tried to demonstrate it with a rather crazy-looking stage magician with a bloody saw.Conjuror: Good evening, last week we learned how to saw a lady in half. This week we're going to learn how to saw a lady into three bits and dispose of the body-
- Separated by a Common Language: In Mr. Neutron, an American spy talks like this to a British spy; partially Justified in that they were in the Yukon and the British spy was dressed like an Eskimo, but he's already confirmed that he's not an Eskimo and speaks clear English. The American figures it out after a couple of lines of shouting broken English.
- The Unreveal:
- Teddy Salad is about to tell Captain Carpenter the whereabouts of Mr. Neutron when they get bombed.
- The final showdown between Mr. Neutron and the world forces is never shown, despite all of Eric Idle's assurances.
- Villains Out Shopping: Mr. Neutron seems more interested in puttering in his garden and romancing Mrs. S.C.U.M. than in conquering the world.
