We open on the narrator surprised that the Princess isn't playing outside even though the weather is fine. Instead, she is standing outside the General's bedroom door. She explains that he has a secret and she wants to know what it is, as does everyone else. Just then, the Chef and Queen come over and try to convince him to spill the beans. They leave, but the Princess stays, and tries to guess what the secret is. When she asks if he wet the bed, he comes out covering his face.
He reluctantly agrees to tell the Princess his secret: he's growing a moustache because he overheard the Maid complementing the Chef's one, and it's a secret because the moustache doesn't look decent yet. He doesn't know how long it'll take to grow yet, so the Princess goes out to find out. Meanwhile, the Queen spies on the window and doesn't find out the secret, but she finds out that the Princess knows.
In the living room, the Princess eats a cupcake and is pressed for the secret but doesn't tell. She asks the Chef how long his "hairy lip" took to grow, and he replies that it took "weeks and weeks". The Prime Minister chimes in, saying that his moustache took months to grow, and the King says that if you want a "real" moustache, it'll take years. The Admiral walks in to say, "That's not a moustache; that's an eyebrow that sailed south!".
The Princess goes to the General's bedroom and tells him that growing a moustache could take years. He points out the issue of food, so she decides to steal him some, but gets caught. She asks the Chef for cake, jelly, and banana milk, but he grows suspicious because she already ate. She lies that it's for Gilbert, which obviously doesn't fool him. He guesses correctly that the food is for the General and demands to know the secret, so the Princess tries to meet him halfway by saying the General wants a handsome "mus-thing". The Chef thinks this means muscles.
The Princess then has the idea of asking the Gardener for advice— after all, he knows about growing things. She asks him how to make something grow, and he suggests using water and fertiliser. The Princess is curious about the fertiliser, so he reveals, to her and Puss's disgust, that its special ingredient is horse poo. She also inadvertently reveals to the Gardener that the General is growing something.
The General and Princess try out the water and fertiliser, then she has an idea— make the General a fake moustache until his actual one grows. She asks the Queen for paper and glue, but inadvertently reveals that it's for the General. The Queen thinks he's making her a present, then the Gardener and Chef show up and start arguing with her about what the secret is, causing the Princess to blurt it out in frustration. This makes the three adults leave and the Princess cry.
The rest of the adults crowd around outside the General's room, while the Princess apologises. However, the General isn't mad, because he's drawn on a fake moustache.
This episode provides examples of
- Accessory-Wearing Cartoon Animal: Puss wears his detective hat at one point.
- Blatant Lies:
- When the General asks the Princess if she's there, she replies in the negative.Princes: "Oops!"
- The Princess tries to lie that the food she wants is for Gilbert. He's a stuffed bear.
- Defied when the Princess considers saying that it wasn't her who spilled the secret, but she's the only one who knew, so she decides not to.
- When the General asks the Princess if she's there, she replies in the negative.
- Buffy Speak: The Princess asks the Chef how long his "hairy lip" took to grow.
- The Door Slams You: A running gag in this episode is Puss getting the General's bedroom door slammed in his face.
- Embarrassing Damp Sheets: Discussed. The Princess wonders if the General's secret is that he wet the bed and says that when she does it, she puts a sheet over it.
- Food as Bribe: The Queen promises chocolate in exchange for the General's secret.
- Grossout Fakeout: The Princess thinks the General wet the bed, but he didn't.
- Keeping Secrets Sucks: The Princess has a hard time keeping the secret; not of an innate desire to spill, but because everyone else is very keen to know.
- Mistaken for Thief: The Princess wonders if the General's secret is that he took a chocolate biscuit.
- Not So Above It All: The Queen is usually logical, but she spies on the General and pettily argues with the Chef and Gardener.
- The Password Is Always "Swordfish": The Princess guesses that the password to get into the General's room is "Nessie", which isn't all that hard as it's the name of his favourite hobbyhorse.
- Toilet Humour: The fertiliser the Princess tries to use to make the General's moustache grow contains horse poo.
