After Peter is accidentally left in a running kids train at the mall overnight, Channel 5's latest news anchor, a man named Dallas Portland, is brought in to cover the story. With his good looks and charm, Dallas is an overnight hit with the viewers, leading to Tom Tucker's career being threatened. Jealous over Lois's infatuation with the new reporter, Peter decides to help Tucker regain his popularity by making him seem younger and hipper to the viewers.
Meanwhile, Brian meets an attractive woman working at the mall's jewelry store and pretends to be rich to impress her by buying an expensive diamond ring, planning to return it when she's not working, only for Chris to swallow the ring on a dare he made to himself.
This episode contains examples of:
- Bears Are Bad News: During one of the attempts to make Tom seem young, Peter suddenly gets mauled by a bear. The bear then finds his video camera and creates a TV prank show (Bear Scares), leading to Peter again getting mauled a little while later.
- Body Horror: Peter gets stuck on a kiddie train in the mall that goes round and round. The end result isn't a pretty sight.Peter: The wind on my skin is like knifes.
- Eye Scream: Tom tries to give himself a face tattoo on the air to look cool, only to accidentally hit himself in the eye with the tattoo needle.
- Overly Narrow Superlative: "Bear Scares, Latvia's #1 bear prank show!"
- Razor Wind: Peter experiences wind on his skin that's "like knives" because of how inflamed and swollen his skin became after getting stuck on the mall train all night long.
- Take That!: Stewie and Brian takes Chris to a restaurant that's heavily implied to be Arby's so the food will induce diarrhea and they can get the ring back, only to find that the store has three separate lines, one for people trying to crap something out, one for people trying to induce vomiting, and one for regular customers, the latter of which is completely empty while the others are full.Stewie: *to the viewers* You know what restaurant we're talking about!
- Toilet Humour: Most of the subplot revolves around trying to get Chris to crap himself.
- Younger and Hipper: Peter and Tom are trying to invoke this to make Tom seem cool and young, but they only succeed in injuring themselves.
