God creates the heavens and the earth, man as Adam, and woman as Eve from Adam. After being tempted by Satan in the form of a serpent, Eve eats from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and she and Adam are banished from the Garden of Eden as punishment. Adam and Eve's children, Cain and Abel, make offerings to God. God prefers Abel's offerings, leading a jealous Cain to murder his brother, following which he is cursed to wander the land of Nod. Cain's descendants create the first city while Adam and Eve have more children, including Seth, who eventually creates a lineage that leads to Noah.
God briefly angsts over having created a sinful Earth and decides to start anew by making it rain for 40 days and 40 nights, thus flooding the whole planet (the water remains for 150 days total). Before doing so, God commands Noah and his three sons — Shem, Ham, and Japeth — to build an ark to store the animals to repopulate the Earth. After the flood, Noah plants a grape garden, makes the world's first wine with the harvest, gets drunk and collapses naked; Ham notices and laughs, while Shem and Japeth cover him without looking. After realizing what happened, Noah blesses Shem and Japeth and their descendants while cursing Ham and his. Afterwards, Noah's descendants try to make a city with a tower that reaches to the heavens; God responds by causing them all to speak different languages and spreads them around the Earth.
God sends Abram to found a nation and takes his wife and nephew Lot with him. After a quick stop in Egypt and acquiring great wealth there, Lot and Abram split up. Lot is kidnapped and his possessions stolen after the city he is living in is looted in war, so Abram comes with 318 soldiers to rescue him and his stuff. Abram, unable to have a child with his wife Sarah (at ~90), has a child with her maidservant Hagar (who is named Ishmael), but God allows him to have a child with his wife (who is named Isaac). God deems Sodom to be full of sin and sends two angels to destroy it. Lot is led out of the city along with his two daughters, but his wife looks back at the city as it is being destroyed and is turned to salt. Lot's daughters, believing they're the last women on earth, get their dad drunk and make him impregnate them; their sons are named Moab and Ammon.
Sarah (whom God renamed from Sarai) conceives the child and births him, at the same time Ishmael is born. As a test of character, God tells Abraham (whom He renamed from Abram) to sacrifice his son and he goes through with it without hesitation, only to be stopped in the nick of time by an angel.
Sarah dies and Abraham buys a cave to bury her in. Abraham sends a servant to find a wife for Isaac. The servant finds Rebekah, whom Isaac married. Abraham remarries to Keturah and bears many children before he dies, leaving everything to Isaac (though he had given to his other sons in life). Ishmael has sons and lives hostile to/east of Isaac's descendants; they would go on to found the twelve tribes of Israel.
God tells Isaac essentially the same thing He told his dad, "Follow My rules and be blessed". Following God's advice to avoid Egypt, Isaac goes to Gerar and to prevent the people from killing him and taking his wife, claims she is her sister (Abraham did this twice before). The ruse is figured out by the king, but he places them under his protection. Isaac's planted crops grow well. The people of Gerar succumb to wealth envy and force Isaac away because he has become "too powerful". Isaac finds a new well to base himself on, but they claim ownership of it (despite him and his servants digging it!) and so he names it "dispute" and leaves to find a new well, Isaac finds another and the same thing happens and he names this one "opposition". Isaac and his servants find and dig a third well and are not bothered, he names this one "room". The people of Gerar, seeing that Isaac has God on his side, come and make peace. Isaac's servants dig a fourth well which becomes the foundation of the still-standing city of Beersheba.
Isaac, now old and nearly blind, asks his older son Esau to go make him a sandwich hunt him some food, so that he can bless him. Isaac's wife Rebekah, hearing this, tells their younger son Jacob to go slaughter 2 of his goats and make food from them to get blessed. Jacob pretends to be his older brother and gets blessed (quite potently) instead. Esau returns and the two realize Jacob's ruse. Isaac gives Esau a blessing that is more prophecy than blessing and says he will serve his brother until he decides not to. Esau swears he will kill Jacob eventually so Rebekah tells Jacob to hide with her brother until Esau calms down.
Jacob and Esau grow rich and are forced to split up. Jacob then travels to the land of Haran, and has a dream involving a stairway to Heaven; he builds a pillar there. He arrives and ends up working for his uncle Laban for 7 years in exchange for his daughter Rachel. He ends up tricked into marrying Leah (Rachel's sister) and works another 7 years for Rachel. He eventually leaves with both. There is then a really long description of their descendants.
Jacob, living in Canaan, honors his youngest child Joseph (as he has had him despite old, he still had him) causing his older siblings to hate him. Joseph has a dream involving his siblings bowing down to him, causing them to hate him more. He then has another dream with the same apparent symbolism with the same result. His siblings beat him down, throw him in an (empty) water container and sell him to the descendants of Ishmael. Jacob is tricked into thinking an animal has killed Joseph, while he eventually gets sold to the captain of the Egyptian guard.
One of the brothers, Judah, goes and gets married, bearing 3 children (Er, Onan and Shelah). Er is killed by God for refusing the call to fatherhood. Judah tells Onan to impregnate Tamar (Er's widow) to produce an heir. Onan refuses and is also killed. Judah tells Tamar to go live with her father until Shelah is old enough, but reconsiders when he realizes Shelah may die as well. Tamar disguises herself as a prostitute and Judah purchases her services (not realizing who she is) and gets her pregnant, while as payment she gets his amulet and staff as a deposit until he delivers a goat to her. Tamar leaves and keeps the deposit. Later Tamar is accused of her prostitutehood and Judah says to have her burned, but Tamar uses the items to prove he was the father, and he retracts the execution order. Tamar has twins, Perez (the fifth in the lineage of Jesus) and Zerah.
The story returns to Joseph and it reminds us of what happened to him before the story left him. God helps Joseph rise to the top of the servants in the household he is a servant in and effectively becomes head of the household. Zuleika, the wife of Potiphar the head of the household, wants to sleep with Joseph, but he refuses. She attempts to rape Joseph and tricks the other servants (and later Potiphar) to think it was the other way around. Potiphar imprisons Joseph, but God has the warden make him effectively become its head. Two years later, two servants offend Pharaoh, the king of Egypt, and get imprisoned with Joseph. They tell him about their dreams and Joseph interprets them and tells them the cupbearer will be restored to his position when the Pharaoh calms down on his birthday in 3 days, but the baker will be impaled. Both turn out to be true, but the cupbearer, whom Joseph told to tell Pharaoh about him, forgets Joseph.
Another two years later, Pharaoh has a dream and can't find anyone who can tell him what it means. The cupbearer finally remembers Joseph and suggests Pharaoh consult him. Joseph tells Pharaoh his power of dream interpretation comes from God. He tells him Egypt will have 7 years of great harvest, but then 7 years of famine. Pharaoh to stockpile a fifth of the good harvest in preparation. As a reward Joseph is made Pharaoh's second in command and effective ruler of Egypt. The food stored is beyond measure. Joseph marries Asenath, Zuleika's daughter, and has two children with her, Manasseh and Ephraim.
Jacob sends Joseph's siblings to buy grain in Egypt (except for Benjamin). Joseph recognizes his brothers, but they don't recognize him, and pretends not to know them. Joseph asks where they are from and accuses them of being spies. Joseph says that he will keep Simeon while the others return and get proof of their claim (namely their youngest sibling, somehow) and gives them some grain (and secretly the silver they spent on it back). Reuben says it is God punishing them for what they did to Joseph (not aware that he can understand them without an interpreter) and they return to Jacob and tell him what has happened.
Jacob sends the brothers to buy more grain, having run out, but is reminded that they need Benjamin or they will be killed. Jacob reluctantly sends Benjamin off with then and they bring excess silver (wanting to return it). Joseph wants to talk to them at dinner and when informed of the silver, Joseph tells them it was a gift from God and he did get the payment. Joseph cries in his room upon seeing Benjamin and gives him extra portions at dinner.
Joseph plants a cup and more silver among the returning brothers' grain in Benjamin's sack, and has a servant accuse them of theft. The brothers deny it and are told they will be searched and whoever has it will be made a slave. Benjamin is discovered to have the cup and is taken. The brothers recount what has happened and knowing Benjamin to be innocent, redeem themselves by offering themselves as slaves in Benjamin's place.
Joseph reveals himself and asks if his dad is alive. He also tells them to fear not, as God has sent him here to prepare for the famine. He tells them to bring their father and he will give them and the Israelites the land of Goshen in Egypt. When the brothers confront Jacob, he is convinced they are telling the truth because of the riches he sent them with.
Jacob is told by God not to fear, and goes. The family tree is extended further as the rest of the brothers marry and give more children. Jacob goes to Joseph to get directions to their new land and says he is content with life upon seeing him.
Pharaoh tells Joseph that if any of his brothers are really talented at livestock management to have them work on his personal flock. Jacob and Pharaoh talk. The rest of Egypt has run out of money and trades their livestock for it, then their land and then themselves to the Pharaoh except for the priests (who were given food by Pharaoh). Jacob is on his deathbed and ask to be buried in his own lands by his sons as per his dying wish. He blesses each of them before dying, and after his sons go back to Canaan to bury him, they return to Egypt and spend the rest of their lives in abundance.
