Synopsis: The Roman Empire has a new official assassin. Lethal, cunning, and utterly unsuited to the job. Can Rory Williams succeed at assassination without actually killing anyone?
Plot: Having been made Augusta's personal assassin, Rory is now stuck bribing his targets to leave Rome so he can pretend he killed them. Upon meeting Augusta's spymaster Decima he is given the job of killing her brother-in-law Felix, who was in line to be Emperor and is a clear threat to Augusta's rule. Rory bribes Felix while pretending to kill him in a wrestling match, but Decima reports to Augusta that one of her spies noticed that one of Rory's targets was spotted leaving Rome making the two women suspicious. He is then ordered to kill Locusta, a former lover to Caesar, and Decima spies on him seemingly giving her poisoned figs, though in reality Rory had simply replaced them with normal figs from a food stall and bribed Locusta to leave. Meanwhile Tactius has been foretelling Augusta's death much to the latter's fury, and after Rory is sent to kill him Decima sees Felix walking about in public meaning that despite his attempts to save the soothsayer both men are captured by Decima and Augusta. While Decima kills Felix Augusta interrogates Tacitus, and Rory encounters Locusta who is delivering supplies to the palace and spent the money Rory gave her on a new dress which forced him to give her more money to leave. When Decima returns she is ordered by Augusta to bring Rory to her and some figs, which had just been delivered by Locusta and despite Rory's insistence otherwise Decima orders him to taste the figs instead of doing it herself like Augusta told her to. When Augusta ate the figs she dies from poison, and Rory realises that those were the same figs that he had been given to use on Locusta. Now both aware that Rory is immortal, Tacitus claims that he foresees a future where Rory is now the Emperor of Rome and the new Caesar with Decima going along with him due to their now being no clear successor.
Tropes
- Continuity Nod: Augusta and Tacitus both use the phrase "written in the stars" when discussing his prophecies about her demise, but Tacitus mentions that it's only a figure of speech as there haven't been any stars for a long time
- Historical Character's Fictional Relative: In real life Hadrian only had an older sister instead of a brother named Felix.
- Hitman with a Heart: Rory is the absolute worst person for the job, since as he tells Augusta at the end he doesn't actually want to kill anyone.
- Maybe Magic, Maybe Mundane: Like the previous story it's unclear whether Tacitus is making everything up or if he can actually see the future. While his prophecies in regards to the deaths of Augusta and Felix do come true, after the former's death he at first claims that Rome will become a republic again before proclaiming that Rory will be emperor upon learning he is immortal which Decima does call him out on.
- Succession Crisis: Invoked by Decima at the end, which she and Tacitus prevent by making Rory the new Emperor.
- Ungrateful Townsfolk: Bordering on Ungrateful Bastard, out of the four people Rory was told to kill only the slave at the beginning of the story actually tried to leave Rome with the money Rory gave him. Felix simply carried on like normal, Locusta spent the money on a new dress and stopped working during the day though she continued to work at night, and Tacitus was convinced he was safe since he didn't see his own death. According to Locusta the reason nobody believes he's an assassin who is going to kill them is because he looks like a nice person.
