Title: Uniform Day
Directed by: Noam Pitlik
Written by: Judith Ann Nielsen and Richard Beban
Air Date: February 7, 1980
Previous: Guns
Next: Dietrich's Arrest: Part 1
Guest Starring: Leonard Stone, Stuart Pankin, Michael Alaimo
"Uniform Day" is the 17th episode of the sixth season of Barney Miller.
The plainclothes detectives of the 12th Precinct are all wearing their uniform blues, because one day a year plainclothes cops are required to prove they have a uniform, which they might need in case of emergency or social disturbance. This is highly amusing to Officer Levitt, the uniform cop who desperately yearns for a promotion to plainclothes detective.
Dietrich is investigating the case of a fugitive whose seven-year statute of limitations expires that very night. He brings in the perp, a Mr. Fantino, who hasn't left his apartment in seven years and is horrified to be arrested when he was a few hours away from being off the hook. He's even more horrified when Dietrich tells him that Dietrich's only been looking for a few days.
The second wacky case involves a mailman, one Mr. Fleischer, who was arrested for barging into his landlady's apartment. Wojo, when he went into Mr. Fleischer's apartment, discovered seven years of undelivered mail. Mr. Fleischer insists that he's delivered the important stuff, like Social Security checks and TV Guide, but he stopped delivering the junk mail years ago.
However both of those plots take a backseat to the uniform storyline. Capt. Miller and the detectives are in uniform—except for Harris, who simply blew off the order and showed up in his usual natty suit. When an annoyed Barney asks him why, Harris says that he got rid of his uniform a while back and simply hasn't bothered to get a new one, and now that he's hitting it big as an author with "Blood on the Badge", he doesn't feel like he should. Barney gets angry at this and the argument blows up into a major confrontation.
Tropes:
- All for Nothing: Mr. Fantino says he spent seven years in his apartment hiding from the cops, and nobody was looking for him, until Dietrich tracked him down over a couple of days right before the deadline.
- As You Know: Levitt, who is positively giddy at the sight of the squad room detectives in uniform, rattles off the NYPD regulation: "Regulation 312-B requires all plainclothes to wear uniforms once a year to insure a full uniform capability in the event of civil disorder and natural disaster."Levitt: Also gives the guys downstairs a few laughs.
- Comically Missing the Point: When an irritated Barney pulls Harris into his office and says "What about the uniform?", Harris points at Barney's and says "It looks damn good!" Harris of course is intentionally missing the point in hopes of distracting Barney.
- Continuity Nod: One of many references to the almost series-long arc regarding Harris's novel "Blood on the Badge", mentioned so many times that now Harris can just call it "BOB". Harris says he's been so busy with his writing career after "BOB" was published that he hasn't bothered to get a uniform. This pisses off Barney, who says he's tired of hearing about Harris's book (Barney calls all the nonsense about it "mishegas," which is a Jewish word for nonsense or tomfoolery).Barney: Let me tell ya something—I'm getting very tired hearing about BOB!Harris: Oh?Barney: And the movie sale and the autograph parties and the gold and the investment and all the rest of the mishegas that disrupts the work of this squad!Harris: Mishegas—I'm afraid you've got me at a little disadvantage.Barney: I'm afraid you're gonna have to make your mind up what you wanna be! Because I'll tell you the truth—I cannot afford a cop who only dabbles in police work!Harris: With all due respect, Captain, just because your prospects are severely limited, I don't think you should go around projecting your frustrations on an innocent bystander!Barney: A uniform is required TODAY! I would advise you to get a uniform TODAY...unless you have some immediate prospects for tomorrow.
- The Dandy: A Running Gag with Harris, and this time the A-plot of the episode, as Harris ignores an order to put on his uniform.
- Mailman vs. Dog: Referenced when Mr. MacDonald comes to the squad room for Mr. Fleischer and tries to figure out what's going on.Mr. MacDonald: What'd you do, kill another dog?
Mr. Fleischer: They don't know about that! - Pun: Mr. MacDonald of the USPS, Mr. Fleischer's supervisor, loves post office puns, like when he says he "ZIPped right over."
- Shout-Out: Barney, trying and as usual failing to be funny, says that Dietrich pursuing a cold case from seven years ago is like Les Misérables.
- Statute of Limitations: Dietrich is after a fugitive who's been on the lam since 1973, and he has no time to banter with Barney, because the statute of limitations expires at midnight.Barney: 1973!? Nixon was still President!
Dietrich: No, he's got an airtight alibi for this one. - Stealth Insult: It isn't that stealthy. Harris caves and gets an NYPD uniform, but tension is still thick between him and Barney. He gives a fake apology for calling Barney's prospects "severely limited", saying "Why should everybody have my compulsion for success?"
- Unstoppable Mailman: Completely averted in the case of Mr. Fleischer, who years ago decided to not bother to actually deliver the mail.
