Janitor: For three years I've been watching you pine after Blonde Doctor, and I gotta tell you, everyone is sick of it! "Will they? Won't they? Looks like they're going to! Ooh, the last second, something might — ooh ooh ooh!" Come on! Enough already! I mean, you guys aren't exactly Ross and Rachel.
J.D.: Who?
Janitor: Dr. Ross, and Rachel from bookkeeping.

"Fufufu, can great detectives deduce the emotions and feelings between men and women? They can't, right? Figuring out the feelings of the opposite sex is an even more advanced art than exposing the tricks in difficult crime cases. If you ask me, romance novels have much deeper mysteries than masterpiece mystery novels."

Jack: Well, as you know, I've been studying comedy, learning what's funny. I'm watching Friends right now. What happens with Ross and Rachel? No, no, don't tell me...