Bart: If there's anything fairy tales have taught us it's that first wives are perfect and second wives are horrible.
Homer: The exact opposite of real life.
—The Simpsons, "The Ned-Liest Catch"
Giselle: And just think, soon you'll have a new mother.
Morgan: You mean stepmother.
Giselle: It's not true what they say. I have met so many kind and wonderful stepmothers. Edward has a stepmother. I've never met her, but I hear she's just lovely. (Description Cut as Narissa rises into New York City with crackles of dramatic magic as ominous music plays.)
Radio Therapist: Mr. N is on the line, telling us his sweetie pie is acting a little distant. You were saying, Mr. N...?
Nathaniel: No, uh... I've always treated her like a queen, but... lately I'm starting to feel there's this whole other side to her, like I... I don't even know her anymore.
Radio Therapist: I think you need to take her aside and find out how she really feels about you.
Queen Narissa: (approaching the window of the cab in which Nathaniel is sitting) Hello, Worthless. Miss me?
My father's wife is old and harsh with years,
And drudge of all my father's house am I—
My bread is sorrow and my drink is tears.
Come back to me, Beloved, or I die!
—Rudyard Kipling, The Love Song of Har Dyal
I was but seven year auld
When my mither she did die;
My father married the ae warst woman
The warld did ever see.
— The Laily Worm and the Machrel of the Sea
Mr. Snodgrass: I ain't your daddy, I'm your mother's husband, and I refuse to be responsible for any mistakes but my own!