->''This is the song that I'm going to be singing to you which is called "Jesus Is The Answer."\\
Number One! I'm gonna do this song again!\\
Number Two! [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment I'm gonna do this song again, all the way up your ass!]]\\
And Number Three! I'm gonna fuck your ass up like in a car crash!\\
And Number Four! I'm gonna fuck you up like a goddamn accident!\\
And Number Five! '''[[LyricalDissonance JESUS IS THE ANSWER!]]'''''
-->--Intro to "Jesus Is The Answer," from 1995's ''Spookydisharmoniousconflicthellride''

->''God gave me this rock music career to keep my busy.\\
Back in 1991, I used to hit old people with folding chairs.\\
Suddenly, I moved to the north side of Chicago, Illinois in the summer of 1992.\\
It made a rock star out of me at last.''
-->--"I'm The Daddy Of Rock & Roll," from 1998's ''SMD Promotions''

->'''MC:''' "Hey Wesley, this is the High Times benefit, I bet everybody's wondering, do you smoke weed? Do you smoke weed, Wesley Willis?"\\
'''Wesley:''' "I don't smoke that fucking weed. I have that song on that ''Mr. Magoo Goes To Jail Volume 1'' CD. It's out in Chicago. I got 950 copies waiting for me at Masterdisk."\\
'''MC:''' "I thought you wrote a song called 'I Smoke Weed.'"\\
'''Wesley:''' "I did write that song called 'I Smoke Weed.' I wrote a song called 'I Killed Your Father Last Night.' It's on the CD called ''Mr. Magoo Goes To Jail Volume I.'' It's just only a rock song. I wouldn't kill anybody's father any goddamn way. It's just a fucking rock song. Thank god. I love to write rock songs because I'm a rock and roll gangster rapper." (this goes on for another minute)
-->--Banter at the end of "I Can't Drive," from The Wesley Willis Fiasco's ''Live E.P.''