Quotes: Unsatisfiable Customer

"The first thing that you need to forget is this nonsense that the customer is always right!"
— Harry Tiffany

"So they scarf down the food and the guy immediately demands their plate be taken away — only they ate their dinner so fast that the plate is still flaming hot. I touch it for a second, realize the heat level, and then go to get my towel to hold it. The jackass sarcastically says, "here, tender loving care!" and picks up the plate to show how macho he is. So like any good smartass, I drop my towel and take forever to pick it up while his mistake starts to sink in. He can't back down at this point, so he starts bobbling it in his hands, and eventually has to yell 'take it!' He had to have been in horrible pain."

"Ariana Grande Latte is even more diabolical than we thought. The girl Damien in knock-off Charo hair has already wished a painful death upon her fans and she’s responsible for unleashing the poisoned pack of Pop Rocks known as Frankie Grande Latte on humanity. But that 22-year-old demon child has gone way too far this time and she must be stopped. I thought that Grande lattes and donuts went good together but not in this case...It’s obvious that Ariana Grande Latte hates America since she terrorizes the symbol of America, donuts. But she makes it perfectly clear that she’s anti-American after an employee brings out a tray of fresh donuts. Ariana looks at the delicious, innocent donuts and says, “What the fuck is that? I hate Americans. I hate America.” BOYCOTT ARIANA GRANDE NOW!
Michael K., "The Donut Destroyer"