Quotes / Toilet Seat Divorce

One day JLove is going to wake up to find that her engagement finger is missing. Her finger is going to detach itself from her hand and quit that bitch. It’s sick of the back and forth!

—Michael K., "JLove Is Always Engaged"

"I'm tired of you squeezing the toothpaste all the way to the end!"
"Oh yeah? Well I'm tired of you leaving your nasty socks all over the house!"
"Yeah, well I'm tired of your mother calling at three in the morning!"
Sounds pretty stupid, doesn't it? Nobody breaks up over such minor annoyances, do they? Sure! These days, people shoot each other over less!

— Sinbad from Sinbad's Guide to Life

"You're seriously mad at me? That's the most stereotypical, sitcom thing you could possibly —"

— Angus, Questionable Content 2149

"Taking a quick break from space shenanigans to do a comic that MIGHT have been inspired by something that happened to my wife and I, MAYBE."

— Jeph Jacques in The Rant for the above comic.

"TURK! IF YOU CAN'T PUT THE LID BACK ON THE TOOTHPASTE, HOW ARE WE GOING TO RAISE OUR CHILDREN! I'M GONNA GO STAY WITH MY SISTER!"

— Carla, Scrubs

Well, my wife left me today. The last thing she said to me was, "What's more important, the Cuccos or me?!" I chose the Cuccos.

— Cado, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Husband: I know what this is about.
Wife: It isn't about anything.
Husband: This is about the time I left the fridge door open, isn't it?
Wife: (suddenly in tears) A whole quiche I had to throw away, you bastard!
Husband: It is about the fridge door!
Wife: And milk! So much milk!

— That Mitchell and Webb Look

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