-> ''"Maybe a story will cheer you up. It's called the Ugly Barnacle"''
--> The introduction to the story, as told in the 2000 movie

->''"Once there was an ugly barnacle."''
--> The opening line of the story

->''"He was so ugly that everyone died."''
--> The climax of the story

->''"The end."''
--> The final line of the story

->''"That didn't help at all!"''
--> '''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants''', on ''The Ugly Barnacle''

->''"A Triumph! A cinematic breakfast snack of some kind! It sure was a movie."''
--> '''Iphobos''' on ''The Ugly Barnacle'' and the WikiMagic that made this page of pure win, stolen words from [[WebAnimation/HomestarRunner Strong Bad]]