Quotes / The Oldest Profession

"Prostitution is a calling with many hazards, sadness, and tragedy, but it accepts human nature. It knows what some people need, and perhaps that is why every society has found a way to accommodate it."

— Roger Ebert

Britta: Hey, Jeff. I'm sure you know Phillip. Did you know that if I sleep with Philip once a month, I can use his beach house in Rio whenever I want?
Jeff: Wow, you guys are really on to something. I think you found the world's newest profession.

— Community, "Accounting for Lawyers"

Ted: Even if I wanted to, the thing's in two hours.
Barney: So get an escort.
Ted: By escort you mean prostitute?
Barney: Why not?
Ted: Because gross?
Barney: Oh, gross? What, you have some Puritanical hang-up about prostitution? Dude, it's the world's oldest profession.
Marshall: You really think that's true?
Barney: Oh, yeah. I bet even Cro-Magnons used to give cave hookers, like, an extra fish for putting out.
Marshall: Aha, so then the oldest profession would be fishermen. Kaboom, you've been lawyered!

— How I Met Your Mother, "Mary the Paralegal"

Woman in bar: Would you like to buy me a drink?
Hamilton: No thanks, I'm here on business.
Woman: What a coincidence — so am I!

— It Started in Naples (1960)

"Pimpin' been around since the world started turning. And it's gonna keep right on turning right along with it. Until this little planet rotates off its axis as a result of its core overheating and explodes into cosmic dust! Can you dig it?"

— Osiris, Black Dynamite

"It's a question of degree. I used to do it for a dinner and a disco. I nearly did it for an Earldom. And now I just do it for money."

— Anna, The Professionals, "The Untouchables"

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