->'''Santana''': Have you ever heard about the term "beards"? It is when a gay man and woman date each other in order to hide the fact that they are gay. [[YouFailHistoryForever Like the Roosevelts]]. So you and I are going to be each others beards. Then we are going to win Prom King -- and Queen and rule the school.
->'''Dave''': What if I say no?
->'''Santana''': Then I am going to tell everyone about you, and your life will be over. Only straight I am is straight up bitch. Are you in or not?
-->-- ''Series/{{Glee}}''

->''"People think you're gay now, Finn. Do you know what that makes me? That makes me your BIG, GAY BEARD."''
--> --'''Quinn Fabray''', ''Series/{{Glee}}''

->'''Fifth Doctor''': Does [[TheMaster he]] still have that rubbish [[BeardOfEvil beard?]]
->'''Tenth Doctor''': No, no beard this time -- [[FoeYay/DoctorWho well, a wife.]]
-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "Time Crash"

->'''Penny''': ''"Will you just play along until my dad leaves?"''
->'''Leonard''': ''"Hold on. You actually want me to'' deceive ''your father with some sham, play-acting and kissing 'cause I'm GOOD with that!"''
-> --''Series/TheBigBangTheory''

->''"The U.S. Mint also offers coins featuring the First Spouses! Impress friends and amuse surly newspaper vendors, who certainly won't beat you ferociously when you try to pay them with currency featuring images of Lucy Hayes and Ida [=McKinley=], celebrating such achievements as 'organizing the first White House Easter Egg Roll' and 'crocheting slippers for charity'! So obsessed is the mint with the First Spouse series that they didn't let bachelor president JamesBuchanan disrupt their flow. They posthumously married him to the abstract concept of Liberty."''
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21111_5-sites-that-prove-u.s.-government-sucks-at-internet.html#ixzz320pUv3TO "5 Sites That prove the U.S. Government Sucks at the Internet"]]
----