History Quotes / SophisticatedAsHell

-->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''' when referring to the awfully inaccurate ''Godzilla'' UsefulNotes/GameBoy adaptation

-> ''The amount of UsefulNotes/PlayStation consoles may seem superfluous, but you'd be astonished at how many times I've had to cleanse my dwelling of begrimed and impure consoles tainted by shitty games.''

-->--The first line of '''"The Official Manburg Hotel Building Permit"''' written by Quackity, ''LetsPlay/DreamSMP''

-->-- '''Wilbur Soot''', ''LetsPlay/DreamSMP''

-->--'''[[VideoGame/MetalGearRising Raiden]]''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgmTsa3rFU0 An Incorrect Summary of Metal Gear Rising | Part 2 | Sons of Obesity]]''

'''Bart:''' Cool! *the Rapper lets Bart inside. Bart gasps*

->''"I recognize the Council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, [[ScrewTheRulesImDoingWhatsRight I've elected to ignore it!]]"''

->Fuck, these are some fine cigars! Like, all bourgeois and shit.

->O pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, O evil spirit born of those drifting between heaven and earth, may the thunderous power from the garments of these holy, delicate maidens strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger, shattering your loathsome impurity and returning you from whence you came!\\
'''''Repent, motherfucker!'''''

->Here is Poseidon's abandoned and hideous daughter: the Cyclops of Kylos! Here is that cannibal beast which dares walk as a woman and speak as if civilized. "Who the good fuck are these whores in my home?!?" doth the Cyclops of Kylos cry out.

->As my elders would say, my shame is deep. As the kids would say. Epic fail.
-->-- ''ComicBook/{{Katana}}''

-> To quote the poets... we're fucked.

-->-- ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'' fic ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/1006975/chapters/1996447 The End of All Things]]''

->(''with a bucket shoved onto his head'') No reply. Silence. God hast foresaken me. Where art the tale maki- (''takes the bucket off'') I dare say, what the hell?!

-->--Ser Tyros Clegane rejecting Lord Warryn Beesbury's demand for surrender, ''Fanfic/TheKingNobodyWanted''

->The fucker will RUE THE DAY!!

->In technical terminology... he's a loon.

->Faced with overwhelming odds, I am left with only one option. I'm going to have to science the shit out of this.

-->-- ''Sun in Flight Volume 3: Butterflies''

->In my day, we would say that revenge is sweet. But times have changed. How do you say? Payback is a bitch.

->Even though I was in a fix, hearing a fair teenaged maiden utter the word "fart" felt wrong to me.
-->-- '''Koyomi Araragi''', on Hitagi Senjougahara, ''Literature/{{Bakemonogatari}}''

->It's totally Kafkaesque, yo.

->'''Hannibal Burress:''' You know what? You said some mean things about me, but I believe in myself. And my mama raised me to have confidence, and my brothers taught me how to fight, and, I just feel good. And, also, you a bitch-ass nigga.
-->-- ''Series/TheEricAndreShow''

->'''Tom Haverford''': The Word 'Bistro' is classy as shit!
-->-- ''Series/{{Parks and Recreation}}'', "Woman of the Year."

->'''Gaskell''': And now, my good wife, while I rest, read to me from Shakespeare's "Gay Boys in Bondage".
-->-- ''Series/{{Monty Pythons Flying Circus}}''

->'''[[Creator/BrianBlessed King Richard IV]]''': [[AsTheGoodBookSays As the good Lord said]], "Love thy neighbour as thyself... [[BrokenAesop unless he's Turkish,]] in which case, '''[[DeliberateValuesDissonance KILL THE BASTARD]]!'''
-->-- ''[[Series/{{Blackadder}} The Black Adder]]'', "Recap/BlackadderS1E2BornToBeKing"

->'''Hank''': So, study the face, study the file, get a big, ragin' hard-on at the thought of catching this bastard. Apologies to the H.R. department... get tumescent with anticipation.
-->-- ''Series/BreakingBad''

->[[UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler Hitler]] was a [[FinalSolution mass-murdering]] fuckhead, as many important historians have said.

->Well, Mr [=McBumfurtey=], I've given you every possible examination, I've thumbed through every one of these copious volumes, and given you an electrocardiograph test. I've come to the conclusion that, in the words of the great Hippocrates himself, your heart's fucked.

->Creator/StephenColbert, President of [Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow], has asked that I quote him as saying, 'Yeah! How you like me now, F.E.C? I'm rolling seven digits deep! I got 99 problems but a non-connected independent-expenditure only committee ain't one!' I would like it noted for the record that I advised Mr. Colbert against including that quote.

->Thou art toast!

->I will not rest until [[SeriousBusiness every shirt on this planet is]] '''[[SeriousBusiness TUCKED THE]]''' '''[[CensoredForComedy F*CK]]''' '''[[SeriousBusiness IN!!!]]'''

->I swear by the name of Dumuzid, the Shepherd, consort of Ishtar... '''your ass is mine, punk!'''

->O architect of my excellence! (Thanks for the bump, buddy.)

->Ah, a new fair maiden has come in search of true love! A serenade between gentlemen shall decide where her beautiful heart shall reside.\\
''(Later, after losing)''\\
Not bad for an ugly worm. But this time I'll rip your nuts off right after your girlfriend finishes gargling mine.

->[[UsefulNotes/JuliusCaesar Veni, vidi, vici!]] Like a '' fuckin' '' Roman Emperor, [[KarmaHoudini I stand unscathed]] as the dust settles once more!

->Did you know that, legally speaking, my word is the same as Tunon's word unless the Archon contradicts my word as Fatebinder? Rhogalus says the legal term for that is [[MouthOfSauron Proxy Decisis]]. Calio says the legal term is "[[ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem fuck you, I'm the law]]".

->After watching you blast those bandits with that E-tech gun, I've come to a medically sound conclusion: E-tech is friggin' dope.

->Thou art a manwhore...!

->"Who am I? Let's just say I'm God. Your God; well, at least, the only God's who's listening right now. What do I want? Ah, same with any God: a little faith. For without faith, I am nothing, and without me, ''you're fucked''."

->You know what the Cradle is up to, and if that information falls into the wrong hands, all my careful calculations will be worth approximately jack shit.

->I believe the proper phrase here is, '[[EpicFail you fail]].'

->He made a pathetic attempt at trying to impersonate you in a letter. Against my better temperament, I sent him a reply to go to Hell.

->My femininity is hella boss!

->'''Woman:''' The Cabernet is piquant as shit this year.

->I may be in error, but I believe the appropriate proclamation is [[BorrowedCatchphrase 'Sneak Attack, bitch'.]]

->Who-wha? But that's dumb! Nobody wants you to be me! I'm already me! And you're you! An' it's like totally mete that you should remain you! I pinky-swear that everybody here'd treat the integrity of your self-identity as superdy-duper, profoundly inviolable and stuff and junk! Word!! Do you savvy?

->Ladies, gents, it's been a pleasure. Also, [[SoreLoser go fuck your respective selves]].
-->-- '''[[Webcomic/PennyArcade Tycho]]''', ''VideoGame/PokerNightAtTheInventory''

->In case the actual Japanese person here is unaware of this, refusal to forgive in the Japanese sense is basically a solemn, irrevocable vow to murder the ''shit'' out of someone.

->Text links at the top of the page give you a few more options. You can upload your own collections, add to favourites for later and access a page full of torrent downloads of Hentai toon porn.
-->-- A [[https://theporndude.com/338/e-hentai review of a porn site]] (link [=NSFW=])

->Give her the dick.

->He had the worst feeling that his body was going to betray him again. "Hey, you're preggers with an assbaby. I think your body just pulled a Brutus on you and is busily stabbing you in the back during the Ides of March.

->...and the destruction of their most sanctified of cities left them unfathomably butthurt...

-><[=KevM=]> quit the farcical shenanigans you duncical misrepresentation of a homo sapien\\
<andycode> I find your misanthropic antics most ironic in their malevolent disposition.\\
<andycode> Moreover, the mere implications of your pathetic facade is illigitimate in its duplicitious atrocity.\\
<[=KevM=]> your virulent discourse is quite misguided in it's underhanded attempts to slight me\\
<Khross> And [[YouAreFat you're fat]].

->In Japan they have an ancient saying: 'The most beautiful flowers grow only in the shit of Franchise/{{Godzilla}}.'

->Thou dost find a fuckton of spears!

-> The best way to sum this up is to recite a very famous quote from William Shakespeare: "Fuck it!"

-> The amount of UsefulNotes/PlayStation consoles may seem superfluous, but you'd be astonished at how many times I've had to cleanse my dwelling of begrimed and impure consoles tainted by shitty games.

-> I'm gonna eviscerate you and use your gastrointestinal tract as a condom while I fornicate with your skull!

->You clever dick!

->By all the grace of humanity! FUCKING '''''DIE!!!'''''

->[[AsTheGoodBookSays Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed for I am your god.]] I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand, [[BuffySpeak or, or some shit.]]

-> You are the [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] [[Theatre/RichardIII winter of my discontent]], you son of a bitch.

->''"This idea of society without balance is central to the philosophy of French sociologist Jean Baudrillard. In the Transparency of Evil he argues the kind of moral progress Batman seeks would be impossible. Because even as he seeks to uphold justice by making criminals his bitch, he creates more extreme forms of order for criminals to subvert."''
-->-- '''The Philosophy of the Joker ~ Wisecrack Edition'''

-> ''"Let's just say I...[reading from thesaurus] as diplomatically as possible...think that this statement is a crock a''' ''[[CurseCutShort sh-]]"''

-->--'''Raiden''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgmTsa3rFU0 An Incorrect Summary of Metal Gear Rising | Part 2 | Sons of Obesity]]''

->Hello? Fiddleford Computermajigs. You say you're trying to build a trans-universal polydimensional metavortex? Well, that's mathematically feasible! I reckon. ''*spits*''

->"To wit, I have found nothing wrong with this remote place, and I must admit it will be with some melancholy that I will leave this island and return home. I saw this chick in a bikini on the beach too. She had the nicest boobs ever."

->"Do not underestimate me, Gildersnake, for I am the Good Witch Azura, warrior of peace! ''[{{Beat}}]'' NOW EAT THIS, SUCKA!"

->"Oh, cruel fate. To be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones. It bones for thee."

'''Senpai:''' Can you crush my balls?

->''"I believe it has come time to expire. I have designs upon departing. I wish to become deceased. Fucking kill me."''
-->-- '''WebVideo/{{Mauler}}''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHa9J5RL51g&t=10176s Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness: An Unbridled Cataclysm]]''

->'''[[UnreliableNarrator Dean Venture]]''': It's in Sanskrit, but it's a dialect I'm not familiar with... The prepositions are all screwy and stuff.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers''

-->-- '''Doc Brown''', ''Film/BackToTheFuture''

-->-- ''Website/TKWikiDotNet''

-->-- '''Koyomi Araragi''', on Hitagi Senjougahara, ''LightNovel/{{Bakemonogatari}}''

->"Do not underestimate me, Warden Wrath, for I am Luz the Human, Warrior of Peace! ''(beat)'' NOW EAT THIS, SUCKA!"
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheOwlHouse'', Season 1, Episode 1: "The Lying Witch and the Warden"