"Children who make
their parents to bleed
may live to have children
to revenge that deed."
their parents to bleed
may live to have children
to revenge that deed."
— 1600s children's book
"Hey kids, it's best not to do drugs. Why? Because it's bad for you, it kills your brain cells, it makes you stupid, you could get arrested for it, and it's really really addictive which means that it's hard to stop doing it. So if you don't wanna go through all that stuff, just stay away from drugs."
(beat)
"Why is that so hard?! Just tell your kids the truth, and they'll get the idea! But nope, Public Service Announcements want to scare the shit out of us by making it look like drugs came from The Devil! And if you take drugs, you'll turn into one of his evil little minions."
I always leave this class close to tears.
Pam: Everytime you tell a story, Gwen wets her twig bed!
Mack: Does she? That's great. See? That means she's learning, Pam.
Pam: Oh, learning what? That she should never leave the pond?
Mack: Exactly! Trust me, I'm teaching her very valuable fears. I should know. I've lived with them my entire life.
Mack: Does she? That's great. See? That means she's learning, Pam.
Pam: Oh, learning what? That she should never leave the pond?
Mack: Exactly! Trust me, I'm teaching her very valuable fears. I should know. I've lived with them my entire life.
Spitfire: [to Scootaloo] You know what happens when something goes wrong with the Crushinator Jaws of Smashalot?
Rainbow Dash: Patent pending?
Spitfire: You end up in a full body wing-and-hoof cast drinkin' through a straw!
Scootaloo: But with enough practice—
Spitfire: "Practice?!" Well, la-dee-doodle-da! Let me give you a different scenario. You're probably saying to yourself "I'm young, I'm strong, I'm gonna go out there and stunt some tricks with my new friend Lightning Dust." Well, I'm here to tell you that if you play that game, you're gonna find out it's pretty hard to "stunt tricks" in a FULL BODY WING AND HOOF CAST, DRINKIN' THROUGH A STRAW!
Rainbow Dash: I think she gets the poi—
Spitfire: I'M NOT FINISHED! Listen, I get it, kid. I used to be like you, tellin' myself, "I'm gonna touch the sky!"
Scootaloo: I don't—
Spitfire: Well, whoop-dee-DOODLE-DOO! You think you got it made in the shade? Well, things are gonna be pretty shady indeed when you can't go out in the sun, 'cause you're in a FULL BODY WING AND HOOF CAST, DRINKIN' THROUGH A STRAW! Do I make myself clear?!
Scootaloo: [shakily] Uh-huh...
Spitfire: Excellent. Have a hat.
Rainbow Dash: Patent pending?
Spitfire: You end up in a full body wing-and-hoof cast drinkin' through a straw!
Scootaloo: But with enough practice—
Spitfire: "Practice?!" Well, la-dee-doodle-da! Let me give you a different scenario. You're probably saying to yourself "I'm young, I'm strong, I'm gonna go out there and stunt some tricks with my new friend Lightning Dust." Well, I'm here to tell you that if you play that game, you're gonna find out it's pretty hard to "stunt tricks" in a FULL BODY WING AND HOOF CAST, DRINKIN' THROUGH A STRAW!
Rainbow Dash: I think she gets the poi—
Spitfire: I'M NOT FINISHED! Listen, I get it, kid. I used to be like you, tellin' myself, "I'm gonna touch the sky!"
Scootaloo: I don't—
Spitfire: Well, whoop-dee-DOODLE-DOO! You think you got it made in the shade? Well, things are gonna be pretty shady indeed when you can't go out in the sun, 'cause you're in a FULL BODY WING AND HOOF CAST, DRINKIN' THROUGH A STRAW! Do I make myself clear?!
Scootaloo: [shakily] Uh-huh...
Spitfire: Excellent. Have a hat.
Sid: It's busted.
Woody: [Voice box] Who're you calling busted, buster? That's right. I'm talking to you, Sid Phillips. We don't like being blown up, Sid. Or smashed. Or ripped apart.
Sid: W-we?
Woody: [Voice box] That's right. Your toys. (...) From now on, you must take good care of your toys! Because if you don't, we'll find out, Sid. We toys can see everything. [comes to life] So play nice.
Sid: AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! [runs into the house]
Woody: Haha! We did it! We did it! Yes!
Sid: The toys, the toys are alive! N-nice toy... Aahh! [Whimpers then runs up to his room crying and his sister follows him upstairs]
Hannah: What's wrong, Sid? Don't you wanna play with Sally?
As a former juvenile delinquent, I've developed a process for getting through to young players and settin' 'em straight. I just scare the shit out of them.
—Jamie Vardy, The Champions
The fear of death keeps mortals well in check. You'd best learn to fear something yourself, you hear me, boy?
—Fear, Hades
Parents told their children to behave lest the Hunter come for them in the night to drink their blood. Kyril personally did not like that kind of talk, he found it offensive in fact. What were these foolish mothers teaching their children? He wasn't some sort of degenerate that would harm children. Idly, he wished that those mothers and fathers would stop using him as an aid for their parenting.
Here's little Timmy. Uh-oh, looks like Timmy's gonna have his first drink. He's taking a small sip of whiskey, aaand Timmy spontaneously combusted. The end.
— A book against young drinking in the Prohibition video by OverSimplified
The news we've shared has got you scared
We're glad that we got through
So make amends and make some friends
The future's up to you!
We're glad that we got through
So make amends and make some friends
The future's up to you!
— "Marley and Marley", The Muppet Christmas Carol
Timmy: Tommy, what's "jail"?
Tommy: It's where they put grown-ups who've been bad. I saw it on TV. You sit in a room with metal bars, and you can't leave. Not even to see your grandma. And sometimes, you have to stay there for... ten years!
Timmy: (gasps) Ten years?! I had a time-out for ten minutes once, but ten YEARS?!
(One Guilt-Induced Nightmare later)
Timmy: I don't want to go to jail!
Tommy: Me neither. From now on, I'm telling the truth.
Timmy: The whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me Grandma.
Tommy: It's where they put grown-ups who've been bad. I saw it on TV. You sit in a room with metal bars, and you can't leave. Not even to see your grandma. And sometimes, you have to stay there for... ten years!
Timmy: (gasps) Ten years?! I had a time-out for ten minutes once, but ten YEARS?!
(One Guilt-Induced Nightmare later)
Timmy: I don't want to go to jail!
Tommy: Me neither. From now on, I'm telling the truth.
Timmy: The whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me Grandma.
— Arthur, "To Tibble the Truth"
