Quotes: Ridiculously Human Robots

"I bet bioandroids wish they didn't have to be that human."
Gene Starwind, Outlaw Star

"You're a robot? I should have known. No human is that humane."
Ripley, Alien: Resurrection

Hisui: So uh, how exactly does a machine get poisoned?
Kunzite: It cannot be helped. I am constructed to be similar to a human being.
Hisui: Well don't brag about it!
Tales of Hearts, Victory Pose (condition: Kunzite gets poisoned)

"Hook me up to the monitor. I'll download you some nice, cheerful porn."
Pintsize, Questionable Content strip #1.

— A robot on fire, The Simpsons

"Besides, she's too stoic to be a robot."
Haven, regarding Jones from Gunnerkrigg Court

But they're perfect creatures. And in that way, they couldn't be less human. There are things machines will never do. They cannot possess faith, they cannot commune with God, they cannot appreciate beauty, they cannot create art. If they ever learn these things, they won't have to destroy us....they'll be us.
The Sarah Connor Chronicles, while Cameron is dancing for no apparent reason.

Dr. Crusher: "Just help her realize she's not alone. And... be there to nurture her when she needs love and attention."
Data: "I can give her attention, Doctor. But I am incapable of giving her love."
Dr. Crusher: "Now, why do I find that so hard to believe?"
Star Trek: The Next Generation, episode "The Offspring"

"My robot brain needs beer."
Aaron Stack, Nextwave

"The geth blur the line between organic and synthetic life. It makes sense that they would seek understanding from a higher power."
Tali'Zorah, Mass Effect

"...because apparently, even though it's explained that none of these robots are able to have feelings, they do seem to have a need for self-preservation. And a need to form opinions. And a need to be sarcastic. And a need to have distinct personalities. And a need to adapt. And a need to change. And a need to interact. And a need to survive. And a need to help. And a need to protect. And a need to fight. And a need to lie. And a need to deceit. And a need to want. And a need to desire. And a need to do just about anything a goddamn HUMAN BEING emotionally needs to do! But, just to emphasize again, none of them have any emotional feelings whatsoever! ...yeah."

"Whoever put her together made her a little too realistic... Who wants a weapon that sulks!?"
Junpei, Persona 3: The Answer