"History is replete with stories of the heroic destruction of serpents: Perseus and Medusa, St. George and the Dragon, St. Patrick and the Snakes of Ireland. These are not merely legends. These are accounts of battles for the survival of the human race — a battle we will lose unless we stop killing one another and focus on the real enemies. They are among us."
"The hostile aliens all look like growly reptile monsters, so although they're obviously sentient, the peace-loving Federation is cool with you slaughtering them en masse. Should've gone for bipeds with autumnal skin tones, Evolution! Better luck next time!"
"An Alabama man on a bathroom break at work found a snake coiled up in a toilet...The snake was released back into the wild where it is now free to terrorize more toilets in the future. Is this what our justice system has stooped to? Letting terrorist snakes go free without consequence? Thanks Obama! SNAKEGHAZI SNAKEGHAZI SNAKEGHAZI!
This is unacceptable. Forget everything. I am no longer interested in any other social or political cause other than ridding America's toilets of fucking snakes. This is my number one issue. It happens too often. Our toilets should be free of snakes. We deserve that right, as Americans. Our forefathers fought and died for this country, to make sure that generations of their brave countrymen could sit on the john and go poo without having to worry that a giant fucking snake would rise up out of the water and bite them."
—Rebecca Rose, "Man Finds Terrifying Venomous Snake Sticking Out of Toilet"