Quotes / Parody Sue

Bill Heterodyne: Ah, Marietta! You're as bold and beautiful as you were the day we rescued you from the bandits who kidnapped you after your mysterious yet famously powerful Spark tribe was completely wiped out, leaving you the only heir to its secrets!
Maria Antonia Fantasia Philomel: Oh, enough about my traumatic past! (I was also a princess.)
Girl Genius Short Story Break "FanFiction" (guestwritten by Shaenon Garrity)

My Father was a native of Ireland and an inhabitant of Wales; my Mother was the natural Daughter of a Scotch Peer by an Italian Opera-girl — I was born in Spain, and received my Education at a Convent in France.
When I had reached my eighteenth Year, I was recalled by my Parents to my paternal roof in Wales. Our mansion was situated in one of the most romantic parts of the Vale of Uske. Tho' my Charms are now considerably softened and somewhat impaired by the Misfortunes I have undergone, I was once beautiful. But lovely as I was, the Graces of my Person were the least of my Perfections. Of every accomplishment accustomary to my sex, I was Mistress. When in the Convent, my progress had always exceeded my instructions, my Acquirements had been wonderfull for my age, and I had shortly surpassed my Masters.
In my Mind, every Virtue that could adorn it was centered; it was the Rendez-vous of every good Quality and of every noble sentiment.
A sensibility too tremblingly alive to every affliction of my Freinds, my Acquaintance, and particularly to every affliction of my own, was my only fault, if a fault it could be called. Alas! how altered now! Tho' indeed my own Misfortunes do not make less impression on me than they ever did, yet now I never feel for those of an other. My accomplishments too, begin to fade — I can neither sing so well nor Dance so gracefully as I once did — and I have entirely forgot the Minuet Dela Cour.

The nicest, most attractive girl in school with the tragic past she nonetheless would never talk about but sometimes sigh penitently with the cruel brush of sorrow over would be crowned Prom Queen. Nobody was surprised.

"Well, I was just on my way back from fighting Lobo, Larfleeze, Sephiroth, Bizzaro, Solomon Grundy, Gorilla Grodd, Darkseid, Lord English, the Anti-Monitor, the Anti-Sun, the Anti-Christ, the Anti-God, the Anti-Anti Devil, the regular Devil, Vandal Savage, Lolth, Sauron, Morgoth, and my evil twin from the antimatter universe all at the same time (I won of course) when I decided to drop by to see how my daughter was doing!"

"How was I supposed to know it? Well, I'm a mary sue and I'm perfect in every way, and also I know all the things I shouldn't.
— Nigi, (Sakura The Angel Sailer God) explaining to the audience how she knows why Sakura's lips are pink.(Sakura ate all the lipstick while Nigi was asleep.)

"Sure, [Skipper]'s been fired a few dozen times, but who hasn't? Well, I haven't. But to be fair, who's gonna fire me?"

"Kamilah, of course, is the youngest person ever to graduate from Oxford University. She's a world-class painter, social activist, iconoclast, Olympic gold medalist for archery, a BAFTA-winner for her documentary on her Grammy-winning album, and the person voted "Most Likely to be Banksy."
Tahani, The Good Place

Megami is the heiress to Saikou Corp, the most powerful business conglomerate in Japan. She is impossibly wealthy, a certified genius, has extensive self-defense training, has excelled at everything she has ever attempted to do in her entire life, and has been trained to possess all of the qualities of a perfect leader, to prepare her for the day when she will inherit her father's company. She is also the most beautiful girl in school, the most popular girl in school, AND the student council president, too.
— Description of Megami Saikou from Yandere Simulator's characters page