"Who's the nicest celebrity you know?"
"Who's the biggest jerk?"
—Tom Wilson, "Biff's Question Song"
Nicolas Cage: They probably think I'm the biggest jerk who's ever been on the show!
Lorne Michaels: (patting his back) No, no. That would be Steven Seagal.
"This in turn supposedly almost got SNLer Al Franken beat up during an appearance on The Tonight Show, on which Seagal was also appearing. Jay Leno managed to distract the incensed Seagal and later crooned to Franken, 'I saved your ass!'"
"I never did get even with Al Jolson. In Hollywood, in 1947, I was playing a small club called Billy Gray's, and Al Jolson came in one night and sat through my whole performance with his back to me. (When The Jolson Story came out in the movies, there was a big sign on Sunset Boulevard that bragged, 'Jolson's Back!'' 'Right,' I said to Jeanette. 'I remember it very well.')"
—Alan King, Name Dropping
"I want to thank everyone who worked on the film, except for Bruce Willis, who is a fucking dick.”
"Sarah Jessica Parker smokes all the time, and I would never would smoke. And she didn't contact me—she's playing my life, and she didn't bother to do any research—and when she was asked on David Letterman's show, when he asked, 'What's Dolores like, is she still alive? What did she do with her life?' She turned her head (because she didn't want to give me any airtime), said, 'I'm going home and have a ground glass cocktail.' Just...ornery."
—Dolores Fuller on Ed Wood
"Chevy mostly pissed me off when I was working on Conan back around '94. I had been working hard all week on a very complex desk piece. It played the segment right before Chevy came out and it did okay. After Chevy was introduced, he sat down, and the first thing he said was, 'Wow, Conan, that bit sure was stupid'... just to clarify, I get along with Chevy because I barely work with him and don't have him constantly ruining whole days when I'm there, like he does with the regular cast members. I view him now as a confused old man who can't really hurt me in any way. I understand why the regulars on Community and the full time writers hating him. If he wasted my time as much as much as he wasted their time, I'd hate him, too."
—Dino Stamatopoulos on Chevy Chase
"The worst diva moments I ever had, without a doubt — two shows that are neither Buffy nor Star Trek — I hated the ladies on Charmed. (And there's a reason why they were cast as witches.)"
—Armin Shimerman on his favorite guest appearance
"I'm sorry, but I just don't really get Rosie O'Donnell. I've seen her in three or four movies now, and she has generally had the same effect on me as nails on a chalkboard. She's harsh and abrupt and staticco and doesn't seem to be having any fun. She looks mean."
"Patrick Troughton, whose acting I have praised before, is of course amazing...His first scene is awkward. Troughton is impeccably gracious as an actor — a trait Pertwee, if we're being honest, never displayed. The two of them got on poorly at first, due to Troughton's tendency to improvise his lines during rehearsal, playing his way through the tone of a scene and learning that, then wrapping his dialogue around his already selected tone. Pertwee was put off by this, and a bit of a tiff ensued. Troughton, the class act of the two, played it Pertwee's way, to the detriment of his performance (as, perhaps, intended... For all that Pertwee was a gracious and fun colleague to many of his co-stars, he could be depressingly catty)."
"On the show, Screech was the squeaky-voiced nerd and what some would consider the heart of the SBTB gang, despite being the butt of the occasional joke...Between every line of his book, it's clear that the truth is that Dustin Diamond didn't fit in with the rest of the cast because he was a bit younger and several bits douchier. Instead of owning up to this loneliness, he went around spreading baseless rumors about everyone being involved in drunken/stoned threesomes and later published them in a book with his old co-workers' photo hovering above his dick on the cover. For example, he frequently refers to Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zack) as a "bitch" and calls Tiffani-Amber Thiessen (Kelly) a "set whore and Hollywood's pass-around girl." Interestingly, he never claims to have slept with her, but that's OK, because his huge penis has allegedly helped Diamond bang over 2,000 other women"
"Here’s where the wheels begin to fall off. While the first two collaborations feature [Burt] Reynolds as a likable yet rough around the edges guy, here (as in the next three films we’ll examine) he’s just a moody, egotistical douche bag. I think that somewhere along the line for Reynolds, life began to imitate art."
"Hugh Hudson (Chariots of Fire) was set to produce a Revolutionary War movie with Al Pacino, Donald Sutherland, and Nastassja Kinski and was given a blank check to do it. The major story behind the making of this movie were the completely uncooperative behavior of the actors. Pacino was difficult and egotistical and Sutherland was always complaining. The legendary story from the set was that one day both of them were in the middle of the road shooting the breeze when the production crew was trying to get through (that road was the only one to the set). Pacino and Sutherland continued to talk and only moved when there was a large group of crew complaining at them. Kinski made diva like demands and the shooting was slow... The actors were a very disruptive source that Hudson could not control."
"As with the wrestling matches of Chris Benoit, or serial pram-botherer Gary Glitter’s fist-pumping anthems, there’s no way to watch Cruise without mentally flashing to that Scientology video where they hang a medal the size of a hubcap around his neck, as a reward for being the best crazy cult member of all the crazy cult members. The acting’s irrelevant, when you know that he’s utterly, utterly insane; a Stepford automaton with a public face of smiles and autographs, but fanatical beliefs that even Charles Manson would describe as “a bit much.”